


The Calm Before the Storm

by lionheartilly



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Angst, Battle, Blood, Crying, Emotions, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Romance, canonverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionheartilly/pseuds/lionheartilly
Summary: Living happily at Garden with Rinoa, his friends and the Kramers now that they defeated the sorceress, Squall learns something about his past that he never thought possible. After 17 years, Squall discovers that his father is alive. Emotions conflicting, Squall faces one of the biggest storms he's ever dealt with. Family.





	1. A Bright Future

  
Chapter 1- A Bright Future

  
The day was warm and bright; the sky sprinkled with soft, fluffy clouds and blue as a jaybird. A soft breeze rustled through the long, lush green grass, rustling up loose flower petals that swirled and wove in their own, wind-carried pattern.

"Uncle Laguna!" a small but sweet feminine voice called out as a man clad in a light blue button down shirt, and khaki pants sat crouched in front of a gravestone. He had long, black hair, now streaked with wisps of grey, tied back into a low ponytail and a dog tag necklace dangling from his thick neck.

The man known as Laguna inclined his head and looked toward the source of the voice. A thin, young woman wearing a blue and white dress, with chin-length, dark hair, kind, chocolate brown eyes raised a dainty hand and waved at the man before her. He turned around to face her, noticing his two war buddies that were now his dear friends, standing behind her as she made her way down the small hill toward Laguna. They stood on the hill and waited, while the girl worked her way carefully down the grassy hillside.

"Uncle Laguna!" she called again. More cheer spread through her tinkling voice. "I've missed you! Kiros and Ward told me I'd find you out here!"

Her small feet clad in white shoes, picked up speed now as she raced down the slope and threw herself into Laguna's now outstretched arms. A goofy smile curved up his lips as he felt the smaller girl's embrace around him. It took him back, to a time when she was just a little girl, dancing barefoot around Raine's flowers on the stone streets of the small, rural village of Winhill.

She pulled back from the embrace and mirrored her uncle's smile. "So, is it all over? Did they do it?"

Laguna's soft, green eyes shone with pride as a heavy wind gust brushed past them and flying object known as Balamb Garden, flew overhead, the afternoon sun glinting off it brilliantly. He glanced upward, thin laugh lines curving the sides of the older man's mouth as he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

"They sure did." Was his answer. "Ultimecia is gone and the world is safe once more from the sorceress, which means you're safe now too, Ellone." He added with a wink and placed his hand on top of the girl's head.

"So Squall and everyone? They're all alive and safe?" Ellone questioned, the curiosity and concern evident in her tone. Laguna knew of how important that Squall, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, and Zell were to Ellone.

They had all grown up together in Cid and Edea Kramer's orphanage. Ellone was also, Squall's adopted sister, and she cared deeply for her younger brother. Almost maternally so. So, it was only natural that the girl would be worried for their safety. Especially after traveling through the time compression... into Ultimecia's realm, which had resided in the extreme, distant future where none of them no longer existed. Updates and reports had come through that all of the SeeDs, Rinoa and everyone were all home, safe in the Garden. This made Laguna's heart swell with happiness and pride that they managed to rid the world of the evil that had plagued it, starting with Edea being the first victim. Adel and Ultimecia were gone and they no longer had cause to worry.

"They are, Elle. They're all safe and sound and healthy!" Laguna told her enthusiastically, thrusting an excited fist inward. He rose to his feet and scratched at his chin, that familiar, silly expression on his face. " Ya know, I imagine they're probably wore out and starving to death though if you ask me. I mean traveling through time like that? That had to of been exhausting on their bodies. I mean can you imagine the-"

"Uncle  _Laguna_ ," Ellone interrupted the babbling man, raising a thin brow at him. She folded her arms, draped in sheer, silk green scarf and looked at him somewhat disapprovingly. "Do you remember what you told Squall in Esthar?" She tapped her foot a bit as Laguna's face went red and a hand went up to the back of his head. "He needs to know, Uncle Laguna." Ellone told the man gently, her voice softening. She reached out a hand out to place it on his arm. "He deserves to know. You told him that once it was all over with, you two had a lot to talk about."

Laguna sighed as his hand went from the back of his head to the back of his neck. "I know, Ellone. I know... but, I mean, he's my son! How do I even begin to tell him that he's my kid? That Raine was his mom and I mean... it sounded all great and stuff when you told me that I had a son, but the more I think about it, the more it scares the hell out of me!" The former Galbadian soldier fell silent and placed his eyes directly on Ellone. "How do I explain to him that for 17 years, he's had a dad and he never knew? That I never knew?" Laguna's voice softened and worry creased his brow.

"C'mon, Uncle Laguna," Ellone encouraged him. "The first step is to at least arrange a meeting with him. Let's head back to Esthar. People are probably wondering where their president took off too anyway. We can send out a request to Headmaster Cid. It'll be a special one requesting just Squall. Cid will understand. He'll dispatch Squall immediately. Especially at my request," the girl stated, giving the man's arm a squeeze. "I'll be right there with you too, Uncle Laguna. You don't have to do it alone. I promise," she added. "Somebody's gotta be there to either kick you or Squall if you don't behave yourselves, right?" She placed her fingertips over her mouth to suppress a giggle.

"YEAH!" called out a drawling voice from up the hill. A dark-skinned man with long braids tied back into a ponytail was walking toward them. "And if worst comes to worst, we'll be there to kick Laguna in the butt ourselves!"

Ellone and Laguna exchanged glances and then laughed openly. "Alright, Kiros. Alright." Laguna shook his head. "Looks like I'm outnumbered."

He rubbed the back of his head and turned to glance once more at Raine's gravesite. Ellone linked her arm with Laguna's and pulled him along with her. The trio headed back up the hill where a large man by the name of Ward stood with a vehicle waiting for them. As excited as Laguna had been to reveal to Squall that he was his father, he couldn't help but shake the nervous feeling that had taken over him. He felt uncertain that this meeting with his son would be a good thing or not, but Ellone was right. He needed to do this and he needed to do it soon. With a sigh of defeat, Laguna loaded himself into the car as it made way back toward the futuristic city of Esthar.

* * *

The night had been magical and filled with something that everyone needed. After all the battle of the Gardens, the Sorceress War, everything, they were ready for a little leisure, so Selphie had taken it upon herself to organize a big, celebration party at SeeD's defeat of the wicked sorceress from the future, Ultimecia.

The Garden's ballroom was filled with students, SeeD cadets, Junior classmen, SeeDs, staff, friends, music, food, drinks, and happiness. Something Garden hadn't seen since forever and a day ago. There was nothing better than Zell stuffing hotdogs so fast down his throat that the blond man nearly choked himself to death. Selphie had gotten her hands on one of faculties video cameras, hidden in one of the many supply rooms.

Now, with the video camera out, and the girl was excitingly recording all of the shenanigans, whilst running around and scolding Irvine for flirting with other Balamb girls. Quistis, more than once, had tried to shove the flirtatious gunman off of her and retreated to the safety of speaking with the headmaster and his wife. The sounds of laughter, voices, music, and happiness emanated from the ballroom. Sounds that most thought they'd never hear again. Finally, Selphie had had enough of Irvine's womanizing and snatched his hat, placed it on her own head and forced Irvine to record them all. She followed him around, commentating loudly enough that her voice could be heard at times over the music, before she stood in a doorway and began pointing her finger excitedly.

"Irvy! Come here! You gotta see this!" the girl in yellow spoke in a girlish, excited whisper as if she'd just found something she shouldn't have.

Dressed in a blue, ribbed duster with matching arm warmers, black tank top, denim blue skirt, biker shorts, her dark brown hair flying out from behind her as Garden took to the wind, another young woman stood against the balcony, her folded arms resting against the cool steel as she watched the stars slowly roll by through the night sky while Balamb Garden made its voyage over the grassy plains. Destination unknown, but that was okay with her, or so it seemed. They could fly forever and she could watch the twinkling stars and vivid, full moon. Her dark brown eyes widened as a shooting star cast it's descent through the blackened sky, leaving a trail of light and stardust trailing behind in its wake. She glanced to her right, squinting her eyes and pointed toward the sky with a playful smile on her pink lips.

A young man with brown, slightly unkempt hair, dressed neck to toe in black leather, standing beside her smiled, tenderly and lovingly. His bright blue eyes showing with a love he never knew existed within the depths of his heart. Cold, introverted, unfriendly Squall had certainly changed in the passing months. He could feel the warmth billowing in his chest. His heart fluttered against his ribcage. It was the same feeling he had when he jumped carelessly into space to rescue this girl. No other thought was in his mind as leapt into a never-ending, black sea of stars. It was the same feeling he had when he rescued her once more from the sorceress memorial. She had told him on the Ragnarok that she needed a hug. She had needed to know she was alive, and he had refused her. Finally, it had come full circle and she was in his arms.

The feeling blossomed forth once more, nagging him and he reached for her, wanting her in his arms again. Maybe even wanting something more. They were totally alone. The solitary twosome standing on the balcony of the magnificent Garden.

"C'mere," the blue-eyed man said softly as he took the dark haired girl's hand into his own and pulled her in close, lowering his head toward hers for a long awaited kiss.

"Squall," the girl breathed against his lips as they met and their heads titled, drinking in the passion of one another, caressing soft lips and massaging damp tongues. They pulled back to look at one another.

"Rinoa," his deep voice spoke back in barely above a whisper as a gloved hand reached up to brush back some strands of hair that had fallen into her eyes.

"AHAAAA! OH MY GOSH!" came a squealing voice, now grasping the video camera. "WE GOT THE WHOLE THING!" Squall and Rinoa, startled by their intruder, whirled around to see a small, young woman clad in yellow, waving a video camera in her hand wildly and dancing happily in the doorway that led to the balcony. She pranced from one foot to the other tauntingly, holding the camera up high. "The WHOOOOOOOOLE thing!"

"Selphie! Why don't you let them be and c'mere with me, eh?" came a drawling, southern-accented voice from the doorway. Squall shook his head as his eyes caught sight of the long, pale trench coat adorned on the man's body. He placed a disproving hand on his hip.

"Have you guys never heard of privacy?" Squall grumbled, clearly embarrassed about Selphie and Irvine catching him and Rinoa in a very personal moment.

Rinoa giggled and shook her dark head. "Selphie, how about we just... not show that to anybody, okay? Squall needs to at least be spared some of his dignity," she added with a playful wink and poked Squall in the chest. He folded his leather-clad arms and turned his head away, huffing indignantly.

"Ohhh, right right! We can't let Garden know that big, bad, studly, introverted Squall, the Commander of SeeD himself, has fallen in love and gotten all mushy and soft now!" the hyper, yellow-dressed girl giggled. "Hee hee! I won't show anybody. Don't worry, Squall. Not unless you give me a reason!" she added with a squeal and a wink, before turning sharp on one heel and racing off.

_Who said I've become... mushy? And... soft?_ Squall thought to himself and started to move toward Selphie's direction, but Rinoa had already stepped out in front of him to chase the girl down.

"Selphie, c'mon!" Rinoa called out, and Squall knew Rinoa could sense his annoyance.

Rinoa Heartilly, the girl who seemed to know him better than anyone. She could easily read any of expressions, and what had previously bothered him most about this is that he did his best to make it seem as though he had no expression, no emotion and completely taciturn. He felt a twinge of irritance that Rinoa seemed to read him so easily, but then decided, it really wasn't too bad. As long as it was just Rinoa and nobody else. He didn't need everyone figuring him out. He liked remaining somewhat of a mystery to people. Not everyone had to know exactly what he thought or felt at all times. He liked it that way.

"It's really not a good idea to blackmail the leader of SeeD! Squall knows where you live!" she yelled for the girl and chased her through the crowd of people.

Squall shook his brown head, causing locks of hair to fall into his eyes and rubbed his scarred forehead. Oh well. Who cares of Selphie caught them kissing on video and showed everyone in Garden. Everyone would eventually find out he was with Rinoa right? Brushing it off, Squall followed Rinoa and grabbed her arm as Selphie did another squeal and turn, sprinting through a sea of dancing people on the ballroom floor, breaking their concentration, holding the camera way up above her head and out of arm's reach. Or at least as best as her petite, short self could at any rate.

"It's not a big deal, Rinoa. I doubt Selphie is going to do anything too extreme," Squall stated as he slowed Rinoa into a walk and pulled her back toward him. "It's getting late anyway, and I'm ready to head up and get some sleep."

Rinoa tilted her head at Squall and laughed lightly. "Well, I suppose you would be tired after we've been through. Why don't we go up to your dorm anyway? It's private and people won't be up there bothering us with video cameras. Unless of course, that's what you want?"

Her eyes twinkled at her evident joke, while Squall's eyes widened in alarm. Sure he finally started being with Rinoa seriously, but her? Up in his dorm? With a video camera!? It was awkward enough when he'd wake up and find her leaning over him, but now?

"Don't get the wrong idea! I'm just kidding!" Rinoa stated, stepping back and putting both hands palm up in front of herself. "That's not what I meant! I just meant we could go up and talk privately and when you get tired and you're ready to go to sleep, I'll let you be. And I promise," Rinoa began leaning toward him, hands behind her back, making her look even cuter than what she already was. "No video cameras."

Surprisingly, Squall smirked at Rinoa and took her hand in his own. "Alright then. Let's go."

The two walked out of the ballroom, away from the crowds and music, and down to the cavernous, central hub of the beautiful Balamb Garden. The water fell and splashed around them from the hand-crafted falls that carried into beautiful pools of crystal clear blue as the twosome made their way down the winding hall of the Garden, and to the corridor that led to Squall's dorm room.

They approached silently and Squall stood in front of his bed, glancing at it longingly. The sheets and soft mattress were calling his name. He was starting to feel more tired by the moment and couldn't wait to lay back on his bed, stretch his arms and legs out and let his head sink into the pillow so possibly a peaceful sleep may finally take him. Rinoa stood in front of him, her hands placed behind her back, the toe of her boot making small circles on the floor as she stared downward, not looking at the SeeD.

Squall had to hold back a snicker at this. Rinoa's signature 'I-have-something-I-really-want-to-say-but-I-don't-know-how-to-say-it-and-this-feels-awkward' gesture he'd come to realize. It was funny at how easy she was to read to him, and how easy he had become to read for her. "What is it, Rinoa?" The Commander of SeeD questioned the young woman. He'd never been all that good when it came to talking about his own feelings, but at his own behest, he had to admit he was curious as to what was on Rinoa's mind.

"Squall, honestly...," Rinoa hesitated and he noticed the furrow in her brow creased. She shook her head and forced a smile. "No, nevermind. This is supposed to be a happy occasion, right? I don't want to ruin that for you. You've not had much happiness up until now." She added and looked him full on in the eyes, but Squall was not fooled for a moment. He shook his head at the girl and placed a hand on his hip.

"Rinoa, I know you. You'll eventually spill it anyway, so why don't you just say what's bothering you?"

_I really don't want you to decide to tell me what's bothering you just as I'm falling asleep..._  Rinoa looked slightly taken aback by Squall's bluntness, but quickly recovered as this was something she had grown used to, and Squall was right. Rinoa usually always did say what she wanted to say. She could only remain quiet for so long. Squall noticed the look on her face but said nothing.  _Errr... I didn't mean for that to sound as harsh as it did..._

"Okay, well... it's just that, you defeated Ultimecia. The sorceress is gone. Adel is gone, but there's still... me," Rinoa cast frightful eyes at the man she had fallen in love with and Squall reached out to grab both of her hands. He tugged her toward him and pulled her down to sit on the bed beside him. "Squall, what if.."

"That's enough, Rinoa. I'm serious. How could you even remotely think something like that would happen to you?" Squall questioned, eyeing the young sorceress at his side. "Think about this. The only reason Edea became evil was because she was possessed by who? Ultimecia. She's gone. She's dead. She's not coming back. We saw to that. Adel is gone, dead and not coming back. There are no sorceresses here to possess you now, Rinoa." He tucked some hair behind the girl's ear.

_Besides that, your heart is too full of love, life and happiness for you to become evil all on your own accord. No, Rinoa wouldn't become corrupted or blinded by her own power. Rinoa isn't like that. If she had her way about it, she'd get rid of her powers for good._

Rinoa shook her head and grasped the rings on her necklace tightly in her hand. "It's not just that... I mean, haven't you noticed the way people... look at me? The way they stare at me? They know I'm a sorceress. They're being trained to defeat the sorceress, just like you did, Squall." Rinoa gulped quietly. "That sorceress is me now," she whispered.

"I haven't noticed," Squall answered honestly and truthfully.

Then again, Squall was normally oblivious to such things, but Rinoa was working on that with him. He shook his head defiantly, as he gathered his thoughts once more and frowned. "No, that's not the case, Rinoa. I know it's not. Just give them time. They just need to get to know you. They just need to understand that you're not like Adel was or Ultimecia. They'll get used to you. They'll understand."

_They have to. I'll make them._ Squall didn't like the idea of Rinoa being uncomfortable at Garden. He wanted her to live a happy, normal life, or rather as normal as it could get being Commander of SeeD and all. It bothered him somewhat, but he chose to push the thoughts into the back of his mind. He'd leave them there for another day.

"So, you think I shouldn't worry then? That I should just carry on living normally just like everyone else around me? Do you think... you don't think they'll be frightened of me, do you? Or angry at me?" Rinoa asked, the crease in her brow softening a little, but the doubt still evident in her tone.

Squall remembered back on the Ragnarok, when he and Rinoa were lost in space, how she had voiced her fear that nobody would want to be around her. It would seem that fear hadn't left the young sorceress, that she was still worried people wouldn't want a sorceress near them or that they would be angry, accusatory, maybe even blame her. What if Rinoa were consumed by fear? What would happen then?

_But... it wasn't Rinoa's fault she became a sorceress. It didn't happen of her own free will, and Rinoa's not like them. She's...different._

Squall shook his head once more. "They might be...," his icy blue eyes scanned hers, expression changing into his 'I-know-what-I-want-to-say-but-now-I-have-to-figure-out-to-word-it' face Rinoa had figured eventually figured out. "...uncomfortable at first maybe, but I think once they get to know you, everything will be fine. Quistis, Selphie, Irvine and Zell don't hate you. They like being around you," he began, turning his head away from Rinoa slightly embarrassed. "Besides... I'll be here for you. Right? I'll... I'll be your knight," he finally said the words he carried with him since they made their promise out loud and could feel his cheeks burning hot. Squall resisted the urge to smash his palm into his face.

_God, saying that out loud just sounds ridiculous and corny, but... it's true..._

Rinoa smiled and pulled the SeeD Commander's face back toward her own. "You're right. Besides, if I can have Squall as my knight, then I won't complain." The dark haired girl laid down on Squall's bed, her back against his wall and pulled him down onto the bed with her and snuggled up against him.

"Rinoa, isn't this-," Squall began nervously but sighed and laid down next to her, awkwardly placing his arms around the girl. He'd never really sat down on a bed with a girl before until now, but now they were laying together?  
_  
Relax... she's just laying here with me. Nothing is going to happen. I just don't want anyone to find out. Do I? I don't know. Is this right? What would Headmaster Cid think of me if he saw me laying in bed with a girl? Would we get in trouble? Would I get kicked out of Garden? Does having a girl in my room go against Garden protocol?_

Squall's thoughts abruptly changed as the idea of Garden and SeeD flit through his mind.  _Wait... Garden... SeeD... What's to become of Garden now that we defeated the sorceress? Rinoa...? No, no! Don't think about that. That's not going to happen. We won't end up having to fight Rinoa ever, so we can't even think about that. Will we still fight though? For other purposes? There's always going to be fighting. Always going to be war and conflict. Someone is always going to raise his weapon first. We fought and defeated the sorceress. We're still elite mercenaries. We still fight... Will Cid disband Garden?_

Squall's thoughts trailed off as Rinoa's body began shaking with laughter at his giggled and brushed back some of Squall's hair back from his forehead. "You're thinking too much again."

She traced her fingertip down his thin scar that ran diagonally across his face, breaking the young Commander out of his reverie. Squall didn't know it, but Rinoa had always loved his scar. She felt it gave him character. It set him apart from everyone else. Scarred but strong. His scars made him stronger. She placed her hand around the rings on her necklace once more. Maybe her scars could make her stronger too.

"Squall as my knight. Yeah, I think I can go with that." She snuggled closer into his chest and closed her eyes, breathing in his unique scent, a mixture of leather, sweat and a hint of cologne. "Just let me stay here with you... just a little longer," she breathed.

At last, Squall gave in, tightening his arms around Rinoa and held her close, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort wash over him like the summer air and for the first time in a very long time, Squall Leonhart, Commander of SeeD, military mercenary, destroyer of the sorceress, felt at peace.

_So... this is what true comfort and happiness feel like... I had almost forgotten... I love this girl... I really really love her. Rinoa..._

Garden was safe. His friends were alive, Rinoa was alive and Ultimecia was gone. Granted he was still the leader of SeeD, and that there would be times when his group would be dispatched to places all over the world, but at this moment in time, he could appreciate the fact that he was just a normal, young man who'd fallen in love, and that was okay, wasn't it? Rinoa's deep breathing had fallen steady and slow, indicating sleep had finally taken her. The knight closed his eyes and fell into an easy slumber, his snoozing sorceress tucked in tightly against his chest. For now, all could be okay with the world.


	2. Revelations and Beginnings

****

**Chapter 2- Revelations and Beginnings**

The morning dawned, bright and warm as the sun's rays shone vibrantly through Squall's dorm room window, and much to his dismay, right in his face. The SeeD Commander groaned, placing his forearm over his aching eyes from the vividness of the sun.

_Morning already?_

He glanced over to his side to see Rinoa, still laying next to him, her head sunk into his pillow. Her lips were slightly parted and Squall could tell she was still in a deep sleep. Not wanting to disturb her slumber, he slowly sat up in bed, stood and tugged the covers up around her bare shoulders.

Her blue duster lay draped on the back of his desk chair and his own clothes were folded up neatly in the small dresser accompanying his dorm room. His SeeD uniform and Cadet uniform hung from a rack just above his bed. It was a rather bland room. Not much color, beyond the camouflage bedspread and looking out the window. A metallic, large model of Griever sat framed on his floor. It was simple and convenient. Just as Squall liked it. Unlike his fellow SeeD members who had chosen to decorate their dorms with various things such as a large, colored lettering spelling out their names on their doors, magazine clippings, posters, and photographs.

Squall glanced over at the sleeping Rinoa before slipping on a freshly laundered, white v-neck t-shirt, black leather pants, his usual belts and buckles, black leather bomber jacket with the fur collar and boots. Squall was just about to step out of the dorm room to let the sleeping girl rest more, when the familiar chimes of Balamb Garden's intercom rang across the ceiling.

**"Squall, this is Headmaster Cid. Please report to the bridge as soon as you possibly can. I have new orders for you. I repeat, please report to the bridge ASAP. Thank you."**

The chimes signaled the ending of the message, and Squall placed a palm on his face.

_Seriously? This early in the morning?_

 He glanced over toward his bed to see Rinoa had stirred awake. She sat up in the bed, blearily rubbing her eyes and glanced toward the digital clock sitting on top of his desk.

"Mmm Squall?" Rinoa yawned, covering her mouth politely with her hand. "Whas goin' on? Wha time is it?" the young woman slurred, voice still drawn with sleep.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. I just have to go and see the headmaster. Apparently, he has new orders for me," the Commander of SeeD responded.

Truth be told, he felt extremely nervous and unsettled by the idea of talking to the headmaster. As Rinoa lay sleeping in his arms that night, Squall had woken up to dreams of an end coming to SeeD, to Garden. His personal fears manifesting themselves in his consciousness took hold and jerked him from sleep. His thoughts had been racing through his mind most of the night until he finally drifted off once more.

_What if Cid and Edea decide to disband SeeD? What if they decide to put an end to Garden? They wouldn't really do something like that... would they? No, they couldn't. Cid and Edea are far from heartless._

A majority of the children and students who lived at the Garden were mostly orphans and had no homes to go. Garden was their home.  _His_  home. He glanced back over toward Rinoa who's cheek was pressed up against her hand, head drooping, eyes at half-mast.

"Why don't you go back to sleep? It's most likely just a mission briefing. I'll come and get you when I'm finished, okay?"

"No no," Rinoa stretched and yawned once more, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and blinking a few times. She smiled at her knight. "I'll get up and get ready. You go do what you need to do, okay? Meet me in the cafeteria when you're finished. I'm starving!" she added, rubbing her tummy.

Squall fought back a snicker and just shook his head. "Alright, I'll see you later then." He exited the room with a wave to Rinoa, before closing the door behind him. Squall couldn't help but feel apprehension building in his chest and his heart began pounding _._

Always prepare yourself for the worst. Always be ready for the worst. Anything can happen. Never let your guard down.

And Squall did just that as he made his way around the curvature of the massive hall, bringing him to the colossal, central hub that led to a set of stairs just behind the Balamb Garden Directory. He trudged his way quietly through the corridor quietly pondering what the meeting could be about, tuning out the voices of fellow Garden members around him. Many students rushing here and there, greeted him heartily with a "Hey, Squall!" or a "How's it going, Squall!" He just nodded his head silently at them, enough to show the students he at least acknowledged them. He had to admit, he  _was_  trying hard to get better at socializing with people instead of flat out ignoring them the way he used to. He had mostly Rinoa and his friends to thank for that. This morning though, he just didn't feel much like being social and friendly. There was too much on his mind.

The anxiety was rising like a sickness as Squall made his way up the steps that led to the elevator. With a sigh, he stepped inside, almost reluctantly, and made his way up to the 3rd floor where Cid's office used to reside. It was now the bridge where a mobile Garden could be navigated. Finally, the elevator made it's ascent to Garden's bridge and with a ding, stopped abruptly. The doors slid open and Squall stepped out, not sure if he was ready for Cid was about to tell him. In truth, he feared what could happen and that was far more taxing than a physical battle. However, he couldn't see Cid and Edea just dumping every single child here onto the streets with nowhere to go and dropping Garden off in the ocean.

_Here we go..._

Squall approached the small, step-on lift that took him up to the bridge and found Nida navigating as usual and Cid chatting animatedly to the other SeeD with one hand, and a cup of steaming coffee clutched in another.

"Ah! Squall!" The Headmaster of Garden greeted the young SeeD. "Good morning! I didn't expect you to be up here so soon! I hope I didn't wake you?"

Nida gestured lazily in acknowledgment from where he stood near the navigation steering device before turning his attention back to the outside world.

Squall just waved Cid off, shaking his head as if to say 'it's fine'. "You wanted to see me, Headmaster?"

"Ah, yes! Straight to the point of course. Now, Squall. I'm sure you have many questions for me regarding what to do with SeeD and Garden now that the sorceress is gone. Am I correct?" Cid began, venturing into the territory that had been on the forefront of Squall's mind. "Yes, SeeDs are trained to fight and defeat the sorceress, which you have done," the headmaster, dressed in his signature red vest, khaki's and glasses, folded his hands in front of him in an almost formal gesture.

"Sir, if I may interrupt," Squall began, trying not to allow any of his nervousness become obvious. "What is to become of SeeD now that the Sorceress is defeated and gone?"

Cid chuckled cheerfully. "And again, straight to the point! You don't miss a beat do you, Squall? Well then, down to business I suppose. As I was saying, yes, our SeeDs are trained to fight and defeat the sorceress, however, SeeDs are needed and used for other purposes beyond fighting the sorceress. You understand, Squall, that no matter where you go, there is always going to be some sort of conflict or war and therefore many governmental agencies may want to hire SeeD to execute some of their plans or just for general help and protection. My thoughts on this matter are that SeeD doesn't always need to fight to defeat, but that SeeD can fight to save lives and protect others." Squall's gaze met the headmaster's, but he remained silent and allowed him to continue. "As you know, you are Commander of SeeD, and you will-,"

Squall groaned inwardly but remained outwardly impassive. "Headmaster, I apologize, but I thought I was only going to be Commander until the sorceress was defeated?"

_He still wants me to be the commander? He still wants me to make all of these decisions? How do I know if what I'm doing is right or not?_

"Of course I do, Squall. We'd never strip you of that title, even after the defeat of the sorceress. Please understand, that I am not trying to put a lot of pressure on you, and this goes without saying, but everyone in Garden looks up to you. They look up to you to lead them in the right direction, take appropriate action when necessary. They need you here for mission briefings, support, encouragement, and to help them make the right choices," Cid paused and observed the Commander of SeeD momentarily before continuing.

The older man placed his hands behind his back and began pacing back and forth in front of the SeeD mercenary. "From now on, you will be in charge of handling which teams are assigned and dispatched wherever that may be and which SeeDs will go to whoever wants to hire us, within reason. If you feel conflicted about specific orders or missions, you can feel free to discuss it with me prior to the mission. You will also be in charge of handling any reports that come in from missions and contracts with agencies and factions that may want to hire SeeD as well. Basically, you will be in charge of handling all of Garden's operations. Edea and I have to focus on the funding and finding new staff and faculty to replace the ones we lost during the Garden Master revolt. I need you for this, Squall. Can you handle all of that?"

_You're not trying to put a lot of pressure on me? That's a load of crap... What if I mess up? All of Garden's operations? How in the world am I going to do all of this? I don't even know what I'm doing half the time. I just wing it or go with it as best I can. I thought this would all be all over and I could finally relax. I don't like being responsible for others. What if I end up making the wrong decision and someone gets hurt because of me... or worse..._

"I see you're thinking again. Squall," the Headmaster smiled as he approached the young SeeD and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Squall stood rigid, completely unprepared for the kind gesture from Cid, but did not attempt to shake him off.

"Listen, there is a reason why you have your team, your friends, right? You don't have to handle all of this alone. I know they would all be honored to help you, and Rinoa as well if you let them." Squall nodded curtly and Cid withdrew his hand.

"Squall Leonhart, do you hereby accept your position as Commander of SeeD and Director of Garden Operations?" Squall snapped into a stiff stance of respect and saluted the Garden's Headmaster.

"Right then, at ease." Cid nodded.

Squall's stance relaxed, but the tension was still evident in his neck and shoulders.

"Now that this is out of the way, onto the mission briefing. We received word from Esthar only a few hours ago. The city is still being attacked by monsters from the Lunar Cry that took place recently. Lunatic Pandora is still floating nearby and Ragnarok is still stuck on the side of it. The President of Esthar is directly requesting that a group of SeeD members be dispatched into the city to help with the extermination of the monsters."

_President of Esthar... Laguna? Oh man... is he serious? He used to be a soldier and he needs SeeD to help wipe out some monsters?_

"Galbadian soldiers are also there helping clean up the mess since they are partially responsible for it. General Caraway made sure of this," Cid added as Squall's light, blue eyes widened ever so slightly at this news.

_General Caraway, huh? Rinoa's going to love hearing about that... So is Galbadia wanting to atone?_

"The President is requesting that you help exterminate the monsters, move Lunatic Pandora so they can begin restoration of the city and Lunar Gate and extract Ragnarok from the Lunatic Pandora. What order he wants these done in, I do not know, but he is requesting a personal audience with you, Squall. Upon arrival, the President will meet with you at 1600 hours and take you to the Presidential Palace. Please make sure you're there on time. You may choose who you would like to take with you. Including yourself, the President of Esthar is requesting six members of SeeD be dispatched."

_You've got to be kidding me... we're not monster hunters or a cleaning crew. We're elite soldiers trained for real war and combat. We're not trained to play tag with monsters and clean up a messy city..._

"Headmaster, I don't mean to sound presumptuous, but it sounds to me as though the only reason Esthar wants to hire us is to clean up their mess, granted it's not a mess by their own fault, but still. If Galbadia is already there helping, what is the point in SeeD coming out there? Surely they have enough soldiers to exterminate the monsters and keep the remaining people of Esthar safe?" Squall inquired, fighting back to urge to smash his face against his palm.

Was he really that bothered by the fact that they had to go to Esthar and fight some monsters? Or was it something else that bothered him about all of this? Squall wasn't sure, but he could feel his irritation with the whole thing rising. However, he was a SeeD and SeeDs do as they are told.

"Yes, I see that you do have a point, but we need to keep jobs going for our members of SeeD. There's no war currently broken out and this gives you a chance to... learn some things," Cid replied, as though trying to hide something.

Squall eyed him suspiciously, while Cid's head was turned from his, but then snapped back to attention as Cid rose his eyes hidden behind thick spectacles once more to survey Squall. "The order didn't come from just the President, but also from Ellone. She's in Esthar with the President and she's requesting you be there."

_Sis? Why does she want me there? Maybe something is wrong?_

Squall sighed inwardly and nodded his head toward Cid. "Whatever the contract says, we'll abide by it. I'll form a team today and prepare to leave. Nida, set sail to Fisherman's Horizon. Send word we're heading that way to Mayor Dobe." Nida nodded in response while Squall saluted the headmaster once more.

"Alright, dismissed!" Cid responded enthusiastically. Squall gave a short nod before turning on his heel and making his way back down to the elevator. The Headmaster had just finished putting a lot on his shoulders... a lot.

_How in the hell am I going to handle the operations at Garden? Dispatch qualified SeeDs to whatever destination, handling reports and loads of paperwork, contracts, and all this crap. I never asked to do all of this. How am I even going to do all of this? And now all of a sudden, SeeD is being hired to kill some monsters and clean up the city? What are we, slaves?_

Squall could feel himself growing frustrated, and the scowl must have been evident on his face as he strode down Garden's hall, because people were clearly avoiding him this time around. He was heading toward the Cafeteria to meet up with Rinoa when he nearly ran headlong into Zell coming out of the Cafeteria.

"Whoa! Squall! Damn! I didn't see you there! Hey man, you're lookin' a little ticked off. Someone piss in your Wheaties this morning?" the martial artist attempted to make a lighthearted joke, but Squall just glared at him.

"Whatever..."

"Hey, man. Just kidding! Haha, even after we knocked off the sorceress you're still the same ole, Squall. Listen, man, Rinoa's in the cafeteria, but you might want to go in there and make sure she's alright," Zell stated, lowering his voice a bit.

"What do you mean by 'alright', Zell?" Squall questioned, observing the blond-haired hyperactive boy in front of him. "Did something happen?" His thoughts quickly switched to concern for Rinoa. After all, she was never a student at Garden. She didn't understand the fundamentals of how things worked here.

"W-well no... not exactly, but uh. She could really use you right now and I've gotta meet someone in the Library!" Zell glanced at his watch. "Oh shit! I'm late! I'm sorry, Squall! I gotta go! I'll catch you later!"

"Don't go too far. I need to talk with you and everyone else a little later," Squall called to Zell's back sternly, while the blond boy with a tattooed face half skipped, half marched off a little strangely toward the Library. "We'll meet at the Quad shortly." Zell waved his hand back toward Squall, indicating he got the message but did not turn back. Squall just shook his head. Even after all this time, he didn't think he'd ever understood Zell's curious antics.

Thoughts filled with the jobs that Cid has now ordered him to do, he made his way into the cafeteria, but his muddled thoughts were interrupted when he saw Rinoa sitting at a table toward the back of the cafeteria all by herself. There were groups of students clad in cadet uniforms, huddled together at tables whispering anxiously to one another. They cast continuous glances toward her way and then would go back to whispering once more. It almost seemed as though they were trying to stay as far away as they could get from her.

Feeling a twinge of sympathy for Rinoa, Squall ran a gloved hand down his face and worked his way across the cafeteria to take a seat next to Rinoa. The groups of students fell silent as Squall walked past them, only inclining his head slightly while glancing disapprovingly at them. He finally reached Rinoa's table and took a seat next to her.

"Oh, hey Squall," Rinoa tried to force a smile, but her voice sounded somewhat shaken. She lowered her head and cast her eyes down onto her tray of untouched food.

Squall sighed and put his hand on top of her wrist. "Rinoa," he began but was quickly interrupted.

"I knew it... I knew they would all be afraid of me. Look at them. As soon as I came into the cafeteria, they all decided to get up and move to tables as far away from me as they could. They keep staring at me, and whispering... and it's because I'm a," she paused and picked up her orange juice to take a sip and turned her head away from Squall's.

Squall squeezed Rinoa's wrist, trying to offer some form of comfort, but he could think of nothing to say. There was already too much on his mind. As much as he loved Rinoa, this was just one more thing to rest on his already burdened shoulders.

_I don't even know what to do about this, let alone handle all of Garden... How am I going to make it easier for Rinoa and make people understand she's nothing to be feared while at the same time, dealing with decision making for Garden, for SeeD, for everything? I'm just one person... and Cid is expecting all of this out of me. Rinoa needs me to take care of her, and I'm not even sure how to fix it._

For a moment, Squall felt he might collapse under the weight of the pressure being placed on him. It was like a giant anvil was doing all it could to bring him to his knees.

"Rinoa, listen," he began, searching for words he could say to help encourage the sorceress. "They just don't understand you, and they don't know you like I do. We just have to give them time and show them that you have no intentions of harming anyone."

Squall paused and shook his head as he lapsed back into silence. Even his words sounded hollow. His shoulders slumped and Rinoa glanced up at him, realizing the tension in his face, how his brows were drawn inward, his eyes somewhere else, and she instantly noted his distress.

"Squall, what is it?" Rinoa asked, knowing that more than likely it would be in vain, for Squall was never one to openly express his feelings. "Listen, it's okay. Don't worry about me. You're right. They just need time to get to know me. That's not important right now. What's important is what's going on with you? What did Cid tell you?"

"Cid is sending us on a mission to Esthar. We're to leave as soon as possible and meet with the President. He wants us to aid him in exterminating the monsters that fell from the moon. I guess the city is still being attacked and he needs extra help," Squall replied, his voice monotone as if reading from a textbook.

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? It means that SeeD is still definitely needed in the world, right?" Rinoa studied Squall's features, but they had become like stone. Not a trace of emotion on his face, but she could see a flicker of something brewing in his eyes. "There's something else, isn't there? Squall, if you don't tell me what you're thinking then I can't help you."

Squall turned his head from Rinoa and waved a hand at her. "It's not your problem. It's mine. I'll deal with it the best I can."

Rinoa sighed and shook her head as she reached a hand to place tenderly against his face, she pulled his face back to look at her own, and locked eyes with her knight.

"Squall, listen. You don't have to face all of your problems alone. I want to help. We want to help," the dark haired girl encouraged.

He couldn't help but notice how pretty she was, especially when she offered him her support. But then again, she was always pretty. Rinoa rubbed her thumb softly across his cheek, and Squall closed his eyes and sighed, leaning slightly into her hand.

"Cid has permanently and officially made me Commander of SeeD. On top of that now though, he's given me a new position. I'm the Director of Garden Operations," He mumbled into her hand, eyes still remaining shut.

Rinoa could sense the stress and pressure that these new revelations must be putting on Squall, but she couldn't help that her heart was filling with pride for her knight.

"Squall, I think that's wonderful. Do you understand what this means?" Rinoa mused.

_It means that I have even more responsibility for people than I've ever had before... And I don't know if I'm ready to accept that kind of commitment._

Almost seemingly reading his thoughts, the corners of Rinoa's lips turned upward. "It means Cid trusts you. He trusts you to take care of everyone here, and he's not wrong in doing so. Squall, you have to believe in yourself a little more. Have faith in yourself. Like I do. I have faith in you. Everything is going to be alright, and you're not alone in this." Squall opened his eyes and looked at Rinoa once more, carefully pondering what she had just said.

_I suppose she's right. I'm not alone in this, but I can't just lay all of these responsibilities on everyone else... what kind of impression would that make on the Headmaster, on all of Garden? What would people think of me then? 'Squall just wants to abandon his duties. He has no sense of responsibility.' That's probably exactly what they would think... I won't have that..._

Straightening up, Squall stood up from his seat and pulled Rinoa up with him. "C'mon. Let's go. I have to inform everyone that we're leaving." Rinoa nodded, following suit and she and Squall left the cafeteria.

**"Quistis Trepe, Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht and Selphie Tilmitt, this is Squall. Please report to the Quad immediately for a mission briefing. We have new orders."**

Squall and Rinoa stood waiting in the Quad as the first to arrive was Quistis. Shortly after, Selphie and Irvine, followed by a very flushed, out of breath Zell arrived.

"Sorry, was in the Library, then went to the Training Center out to the secret area and yeah," the martial artist leaned over, hands clasped over his knees to catch his breath.

Quistis cleared her throat and brushed back her blond hair, folding her arms over her chest. "Squall. You said we have new orders?"

"New orders!? We goin' somewhere!? Woo baby! I'm goin' crazy just sitting around here doing nothing!" Zell thrust his fist into the air.

"The Library and secret area, Zell? Doesn't sound like you were doing nothing to meee!" Selphie taunted as she elbowed the martial artist in his side.

Squall turned toward the hyper blond man, a hand on his hip. "Zell, Selphie" was all he had to say to get the man to calm down for a moment and bring both of them back to attention. "I'll make this short. We're to head to Esthar. The President has requested SeeD's help for killing monsters in the city that fell from the moon during the Lunar Cry. He is also hiring us to help in the restoration of Esthar. We're sailing to Fisherman's Horizon. From there, we will take a car and drive to Esthar. We're to meet with the president at 1600 hours once we get there. He will take us to the Presidential Palace and give us our further orders there."

Rinoa couldn't help but notice that once again, Squall sounded like he was speaking from a textbook, but she said nothing while the rest of the SeeD's nodded their heads in agreement.

"The President of Esthar!? That means we get to see Sir Laguna again!" Selphie squealed in excitement, doing her signature dance on one foot. "I can't wait! Sir Laguna is just so cool!" Squall just rolled his eyes.

_...more like an impudent moron if you ask me._

"Anyway," Squall interrupted Selphie's moment of glee, sounding somewhat exasperated. "Prepare for the mission as soon as possible. We leave as soon as we dock at Fisherman's Horizon."

Squall watched as his friends left the Quad. He couldn't help but feel a sense of dread billowing up inside of him. He wasn't sure if it was just nerves at these new beginnings that would be coming for him now that Cid had appointed him practically the leader of the entire Garden, or if something else unexpected was going to happen. Trying to brush the uncomfortable, unsettling sensation rising in him aside, he turned toward Rinoa. "Let's go." She nodded and the two left the Quad, following the rest of the team to prepare for their next mission, and where that would take them, Squall just didn't know.


	3. A Mutual Understanding

**Chapter 3- A Mutual Understanding**

Hours later, Balamb Garden had docked successfully on the shores of Fisherman's Horizon. Squall headed toward the Garden exit, with Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, and Zell close behind him. Irvine had stayed behind in the parking lot to prepare the Garden's vehicles for departure. Squall turned back toward the others.

"You guys are free to roam around the town for a bit but don't go too far. I have a meeting with Mayor Dobe, and we're leaving directly after."

"Oh no, not him again, that old geezer. He really pissed me off," Zell groaned. "Man, they all hate us here, you do know that, right? The last time we were here, we got insulted and shit on!" The blond martial artist slammed on fist into palm. "Buncha warmongers, they called us!"

The SeeD Commander turned toward Zell, his arms folded across his chest. "Just relax, Zell. I'll be the one talking to the mayor, not you." Squall paused, turning his head to the side and looking downward. "Why don't you head to the parking lot and help Irvine prepare the cars for our trip?"

Seemingly relieved, Zell lightened up significantly, did a goofy wave and headed off toward the parking lot. Squall just shook his head and continued down the ramp and onto the docks of Fisherman's Horizon.

As they passed the workers, they couldn't help but notice the dark stares they received from the fellow townspeople, but said nothing and continued on their way.  _They're still pissed at us?_ Shrugging off the irritation at such notations that these people chose to believe that Squall and the others were, he decided to ignore it. Though he did wonder if the people of FH knew about them saving the entire world from the threat of the sorceress, and thus, fighting to save their butts in the process.

Maybe this would be something he could discuss with the Mayor once he got there. A rather rude hand gesture came from one villager and another loud shout about how warmongers like SeeD weren't welcome among their kind, that they didn't know how to keep the peace. Squall just shook his head in dismay and continued onward toward the Mayor's home.

"I'm going to go and talk with him. You guys just stay close so I can find you when I'm done."

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Rinoa questioned, grasping Squall's arm and looking up at him with those chocolate eyes. Squall gave her a small smile in response and placed a gloved hand over hers, nodding at her.

"I'll be fine. He needs to know we're here and that we need to use FH's road to get to Esthar. We can't pilot Garden that far, and I don't like the idea of taking Garden to Esthar, especially if Lunar Cry monsters are still running rampant. They're much more dangerous than anything in the training center, so I'm not going to risk anyone getting hurt," he explained sounding serious.

"And you were worried about being a leader and taking care of everyone?" Rinoa mused, poking Squall in the ribs. "I think you're doing a pretty good job thinking of the safety of the students and staff." He looked down at her, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks and Rinoa smiled, her dark eyes twinkling lovingly up at him.

"Whatever..." he huffed. "You go with the others, and when I'm finished here, I'll meet up with you in town later," he assured the raven-haired girl. Rinoa leaned up to give him a quick kiss and then turned toward Selphie and Quistis. Selphie was already bouncing on her tiptoes, barely containing her excitement.

"Ooohhh c'mon, Quisty! Let's go watch the master fisherman fish! I love sitting by the water and-," Selphie's over-excited voice trailed off into a chipper mass as she dragged Quistis away from Squall and Rinoa, yammering excitedly about the town. Rinoa laughed, while Squall barely suppressed a chuckle.

"Alright, we'll see you later then, Squall!" Rinoa called to him as she ran to catch up with the other two girls.

Squall just shook his head musing silently to himself about how adorable Rinoa looked racing to catch up with the other two, blue-ribbed duster and dark locks flying out from behind her. It was hard to believe she was such a feared sorceress within Garden. With a slight groan, he now turned back toward the walkway that led to Mayor Dobe's house and with a slight sense of dread, began to head in that direction. Much more sooner than he would've liked, Squall arrived at the Mayor's house.

_Approach your target inconspicuously and with caution... Ugh. I really hope he doesn't start whining and complaining about how we're nothing but warmongers._

Before Squall could raise a fist to knock, the door was opened and there stood a short, slightly chubby, older blonde woman. She was wearing a purple knit sweater with white capri pants. Before Squall could even open his mouth to utter a word, Flo was already addressing him.

"My husband has been expecting you. He received word you were coming back here," she eyed him in a way that made Squall feel somewhat uncomfortable, but he just cleared his throat as the woman turned away from him. "Well, come on then. Let's get this over with. We don't want you here any longer than you need to be. Not after what happened last time."

_Damn... what a way to greet somebody... Was that really necessary?_

Squall followed Flo without a word as she took him to the top floor of their home where Mayor Dobe sat on the floor, his salt and pepper hair slicked back on his head, wearing his usual button-down shirt, shorts, and sandals. Flo excused herself, leaving the two alone and Squall could tell that the mayor's wife didn't want to be near him at all. Squall crouched down to Dobe's level, ready to address the Mayor, but Dobe surprised him by speaking first.

"Hmm, the scarred boy."

 _...Scarred boy?_ Squall absentmindedly touched the scar, a battle with Seifer had left him with over a year ago, on his face.  _I have a name you know..._

"To be honest, I had hoped I'd never have to see you again. I felt that way for quite a while after you guys showed up here dragging your baggage along with you," The Mayor began without missing a beat.

Squall glanced to the side.  _Hmph... the feeling is mutual._

"Those Galbadian soldiers showing up here, wrecking part of my town, fights breaking out. Back then I thought you were all just a bunch of warmongers," Dobe continued, not breaking stride.

_He sure is getting to the point... just like before. He doesn't sound much different than he did last time. Maybe Zell was right..._

"Mayor Dobe," Squall started, rising to his feet, resisting to refer to him as Mayor Idiot instead. "Understand that this isn't the reason we're here now. We have nobody on our tail chasing us. There will be no fighting this time around. I can assure you of that. We're only trying to get to Esthar as quickly as we possibly can."

"Well, I can't say if I believe you or not, but what I do want to say is that something you said to me that day stayed with me. Do you remember, after you fought that battle with the soldiers and that horrible machine, what you said to me?" The Mayor questioned the young SeeD Commander?

Squall folded his arms across his chest, turning his head to the side once more to glance downward, thinking back to his last meeting with this man. "I told you that I wish you could be a little more understanding about us. That we're not just a bunch of warmongers. I told you that it was hard for me to explain, but that I wished everything could be settled without resorting to violence. I told you that it would be wonderful if things could be settled by discussion alone, but unfortunately, not everyone is willing to just listen, so fighting is going to be inevitable at times."

The Mayor nodded his head. "That's right. You did. You also told me... that you think the world needs both people like you and myself. Originally, I didn't agree with you, until after I heard word that you defeated another sorceress threat that loomed over our world."

_Hmm... So he knows then. Saves me the trouble of reminding them just who saved their sorry asses in the end anyway._

The mayor continued. "I was angry at the time. Perhaps I was in denial, or just fooling myself into believing that every conflict could be solved with peaceful discussion, I'm not really sure, to be perfectly honest."

Squall's eyes widened at the Mayor's words. It certainly wasn't something he expected. The Mayor continued on.

"As you already know, I'm not a fighting man myself. I'll personally never fight to reach a conclusion or solve an issue, but as much as I hate it, I spent some time pondering your words, young SeeD. I understand that it will be inevitable at times. I understand that peace cannot always be reached by talking things out. I was wrong to judge you."

"I-I, well...," Squall reached up to rub the back of his neck, unsure of what to say the Mayor, but he had to admit, he felt somewhat relieved that Mayor Dobe could now at least appreciate the reason why people like he and his comrades existed in the world. "Thank you." Was all he could say, but he had to admit that he was appreciative of the Mayor coming to somewhat of acceptance to what he and his kind were like.

"No, I should be thanking you, this time. I didn't listen to you the last time, nor did I thank you for protecting our town. I was too caught up in my own emotions and anger at the situation." Mayor Dobe shrugged his shoulders, lifting his hands and shook his head. "You're human beings too. I had to tell myself that. Human beings, just with a different thought process, then us here in FH. I've come to realize that fighting doesn't make you inhumane. It's just a part of who you are and what you have to do sometimes to keep the peace."

Squall nodded his head in agreement. "The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with different perspectives between people, so long as it's not something taken personally. It makes it easier so we can just move on with our lives."

"Alright then. I'm glad we could reach an understanding on this," the Major responded, rising to his feet now and extending his hand to Squall. "If you'd like to use the train tracks to get to Esthar, feel free. Since the trains no longer run on them, you should be able to take your own vehicles safely over them if you would. That walk is quite a distance."

Squall nodded his head and accepted the mayor's hand. "Thank you. We appreciate it." The young Commander turned to leave the house but was stopped once more by Dobe.

"Young SeeD. You never did tell me what your name is?"

Squall paused and turned to look back at him. "It's Squall."

"Well then, Squall. I hope you and your comrades have a safe and peaceful journey to Esthar."

Squall nodded his head in acknowledgment and exited the house feeling somewhat better than what he had earlier. At least the meeting with Mayor Dobe didn't go as bad as what he thought, and it felt... kind of nice to know that the Mayor finally had some semblance of understanding on what he was all about. He walked up the long pathway toward the train tracks where he spotted two of Garden's cars now sitting on the tracks. Irvine and Selphie seemed to be having some sort of argument, while Rinoa tried to step in between them. As he drew closer to his friends, Squall could hear the whine in Selphie's voice.

"But  _I_ wanted to be the one who gets to drive! Irvine, that's not fair!" Selphie stomped her foot on the ground with her fists at her sides in frustration.

"Selphie, calm down. Irvine just wants to get you safely to Esthar," Rinoa tried to interject, but Selphie continued to complain while Irvine was almost pleading with her to listen.

Squall approached the group and almost immediately Selphie and Irvine's quarreling stopped. Now it was time to play the boss. "Selphie, Irvine will drive you and Quistis." He glanced toward his former instructor and gave her a 'you-can-keep-them-under-control' expression. Quistis nodded her blonde head in affirmation. "I will drive myself, Rinoa and Zell. Irvine, we'll go first and you can follow us in your car. We should reach Esthar in just a couple of hours from now. It's not that far."

"Ohhhh, maaaaan!" Selphie whined as she snapped her fingers and slumped her shoulders, following Irvine and Quistis to the vehicle awaiting them. "I was really wanting to be the one to drive!"

"Lighten up, Selphie. You're going to get to see Laguna again, remember? So let's see some cheer, okay?" Quistis reassuringly told the younger SeeD and almost as instantly as her face gloomed, it brightened and her green eyes shone with excitement.

"I can't wait to see Sir Laguna again! Tee-hee! He's such a nice man and he sure is cute!" She skipped in the direction of the car, choosing to ignore the grunt of protest Irvine made at those words, calling out 'shotgun!' before they ever reached the car.

Quistis just shook head and followed the both of them. "See you there, Squall."

Squall turned toward Rinoa and Zell. "You guys ready?" They both nodded their heads and made their way to their vehicle. Rinoa took the front seat next to Squall, while a grumbly, displeased Zell took the back.

"Oh don't complain, Zell," Rinoa chided. "Look at this way. You have the whole back seat to yourself. Why don't you take a nap?"

Zell just glared at Rinoa, before thumping down in the backseat, his arms folded across his chest in an evident pout. Squall just shook his head at the two, started up the engine and began driving the vehicle down the tracks in the direction of Esthar. The ride remained silent for the most part, suggesting that Zell had definitely fallen asleep, and soon enough, soft snores could be heard from the backseat.

Squall thought a lot about what awaited them in Esthar. He thought about the monster extermination the president was requesting them for.

_Is it really that bad? So bad that they needed SeeD's special forces to help clear out the city? No, there had to be some other reason, right? One would think this is something the President of Esthar could handle on his own without needing SeeD. Then again, maybe not. I suppose it depends on how bad the monster infestation is._

Yet, Squall couldn't seem to shake the same unnerving feeling that had came over him earlier after he found out that they were being hired by Esthar. Something about this just seemed not balanced. Rinoa let out a loud sigh, distracting Squall from his thoughts, as she glanced out of the window.

"Rinoa?" Squall said her name, glancing in her direction, seeming to break Rinoa from her own silent reverie.

"Laguna knew my mother," She began, reaching down to clutch her small hand around the rings on her necklace. "You know, I never really got to just sit and talk with Laguna before. I'd love to know more about her."

Squall nodded his head. Granted he couldn't fully understand why Rinoa would want to know more, he accepted the fact. Growing up without parents himself, Squall never really knew what it was like wanting to know more about his parents, and he idly wondered what his mom and dad might have been like. Rinoa's mother had died when she was very young, so she had very little memory of her, but he had no memory of his parents at all.

"You know, when Ellone was taking our consciousnesses back into Laguna's past, into the 'dream world', I saw your mom," Squall began, eyes still fixed out of the front window, concentrating on his driving, one gloved hand lay lazily on the steering wheel. Rinoa gasped slightly, looking over at him. "A long time ago, Laguna and Julia actually had a sort of... well you can't really call it a romance, but they had a 'thing' for one another."

"Laguna and my mom?" Rinoa asked, incredulous. "Wow, how did that one happen?"

Squall just shrugged his shoulders. "Not really sure. He used to go to the hotel bar that Julia used to play piano at every night, just so he could sit and watch her." Rinoa started to say more, but Squall interrupted her as they drove into the pale terrain, noting the bones left behind from undead monsters they'd battled once before. "We're here."

This time, however, the city wasn't invisible. The invisible ladder he had climbed while carrying an unconscious Rinoa on his back the first time, and the metallic tunnel that it led to were there and clearly visible. He pulled the car up and stopped. Irvine and the others, who were close, stopped just behind them. Zell abruptly awoke with a snort in the backseat, grumbling about hotdogs and wiping some drool off of his chin. They all got out of their cars and began following Squall to the familiar tunnel that led them to the futuristic city of Esthar.

_If only we still had Ragnarok... this would've been so much easier, and we wouldn't have to go through all of this nonsense._

They all climbed the ladder, crawled through the tunnel and ended up on one of Esthar's elevator transports. The sheer mechanics of Esthar's technology was still mind-boggling to Squall and the others as they gaped around, mouths slightly open. Rinoa, more than anyone, was stunned and she held onto Squall tightly, almost as if she were afraid she'd fall and he put a comforting arm around her, feeling her body tense and tremble slightly. Her eyes were wide with a mixture of surprise and fear.

_That's right... the last time we were here, Rinoa was asleep. She wouldn't remember taking this lift._

Turning his face into Rinoa's hair, Squall whispered to her. "It's okay. Don't worry. You won't fall. This is how we got here the first time. I didn't let you fall then. I won't let you fall now." Rinoa just clung tighter and turned her face into Squall's chest.

"I don't really like this," she admitted with a small, nervous laugh, and he placed a gloved hand on the back of her head.

_Rinoa... and people think you're a fearful sorceress, and yet you're terrified to ride on a mechanical lift._

He had to fight back a snicker, at this, but instead just opted for a small grin.

Within moments, the mechanism was lowering them down to the city's entrance, and just as Squall suspected there would be, one of the futuristic, Estharian vehicles sat waiting for them. As the lift stopped, they stepped off and the side doors of the vehicle rose upward, like the old-fashioned Delorians that Squall remembered reading about once before in the library. None other than dark-skinned, Kiros Seagill, one of Laguna's Presidential Advisors and dearest friends, dressed in his formal, Estharian attire of white robes, greeted them.

"Welcome to the city, guys. It's very good to see you again," he waved a hand heartily at the six of them. "I'll be escorting you to the Presidential Palace. You should all fit just fine in here." He held out at a hand as the SeeD group climbed into the vehicle, and Squall sat himself in the passenger's seat. Kiros followed the others into the car and seated himself into what Squall assumed was supposed to be the driver's seat. There was no steering wheel.

Instead, a cool, robotic, female voice resounded. "Destination?" It asked. "Presidential Palace," was Kiros response, the doors slid shut and before they knew it, they were gliding along the ethereal streets of Esthar.

The vehicle flowed so smoothly underneath them as if they were riding a boat on a crisp, watery surface. He caught glimpses of Galbadian soldiers and Estharian soldiers alike, roaming around the city, and here and there fights with monsters breaking out, but nothing too overwhelming like he thought it would be. The city certainly was not in shambles.

In fact, it seemed as though the restoration of the city had already begun. Many people were scattered about, repairing and working on the Airstation lifts, and he could see the people of Esthar providing help in the clean-up. It left Squall wondering that if they had this all under control, what did Laguna  _really_ need SeeD for? Much too soon, sooner than Squall would have liked, the vehicle came to a gliding halt in front of the colossal, magnificent Presidential Palace, right in the heart of the city. Squall peered out of his window and he could see Ellone and Ward, standing guard like a massive giant next to the petite woman.

As Squall and his friends exited the strange car, Ellone came running up to Squall and the others, her face breaking out into a smile. "Squall! Quistis, Selphie, Zell, Irvine, Rinoa. Everyone! It's so wonderful to see you guys are okay and safe after everything that happened!" Ellone went up to Squall and took his hands in her own squeezing them.

There were genuine relief and happiness in Ellone's eyes, and it made him feel momentarily nostalgic. He could remember parts of his childhood when Ellone would hold Squall's hand, tell him how happy she was or proud she was of him for various things, that same expression in her childlike eyes. Squall could feel his posture stiffen at Ellone's affectionate gesture, making him feel somewhat awkward, but he relaxed, reminding himself it was just Sis. This was no different than what she did for him when they were children.

"It's good to see you too, Sis," Squall responded, giving Ellone's hands a slight squeeze before letting them go.

"Well the city isn't in too terribly devastating shape," Quistis observed, gazing around. "Squall, I'd like to go and take a look around, survey the city. See exactly what we might be able to do to help. I'd like to talk with some of the soldiers as well. Would that be alright with you?"

The young Commander nodded his head. "Sure, that would be fine. Why don't you take Selphie, Irvine, and Zell along with you? Rinoa and I can go meet with the President to discuss what he has in mind for us."

Zell brightened up, thrusting an excited fist in the air. "Awesome! That way we can get an idea of just how bad the monsters wrecked the place and see what we can do to help! Sounds like a plan to me!"

"C'mon, Irvy!" Selphie said, tugging at Irvine's jacket sleeve. "I love this city! It's sooo neat! Let's go see what we can do to help!"

"Sounds like a plan to me. If the shops are open, we should stop by them too. I'm running low on ammo and stocks of potions," the gunman responded with a tip of his black hat. "Catcha later, guys."

"We'll meet back up with you at the palace once we're done getting our bearings," Quistis told Squall as she waved at him, Rinoa and turned away from them, walking in the opposite direction of the palace.

"Try not to get lost!" Rinoa called out as she and Squall watched their retreating backs disappear into the massive city. The three waved and Squall and Rinoa turned to follow Ellone and Ward into the intensely, futuristic building in front of them.

"Do you have any idea of exactly what Laguna wants us to do," Squall inquired as they moved up the walkway, leading to the front door lift that would take them into the palace.

"Not really. Uncle Laguna doesn't tell me much anyway when it comes to the fighting side of things. Though I do know he has something very important he wants to discuss with you that has nothing to do with the monster infestation," Ellone hinted, unable to meet Squall's gaze.

Squall stopped walking for a moment, pausing to place an irritated hand on his hip. "Ellone, we have better things to do than to make social calls. We didn't come here for a friendly chat."

"Hmmm...," the older girl hummed still refusing to look at him. She placed her hands behind her back, eyes still cast to the ground, watching her shoes with every step.

_Is she avoiding looking at me?_

"You'll find out soon enough when we get there," Kiros spoke up and almost as soon as they sat down on the lift that carried them inside of the building, Squall and Rinoa found themselves standing inside of cavernous main hall of the palace. And there standing in the center was none other than President Laguna Loire. Squall once more felt that unnerving sensation creeping up his spine. Whether this would turn out to be good or bad, Squall didn't know, and in truth, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.


	4. The Hard Learned Truth

**Chapter 4- The Hard Learned Truth**

Laguna stood with his hands wide open in a welcoming gesture, emerald eyes shining. "Squall! Rinoa! Hey there! It's so great to see you, kids, again! See? What'd I tell ya! Love, friendship, and courage was the way, and now look at you!" Laguna seemed to be bursting with pride as he walked briskly toward them. He clapped his hands firmly on, a rather stunned, Squall's shoulders. "Alive, well. Happy, I hope? Man, I gotta tell ya, it's a relief seeing that you're healthy and not all beaten and tore up and stuff. I'm sure that precounter with Ultimecia wasn't exactly an easy trip on a boat!"

 _Trip on a boat? Precounter...? Pretty sure he means encounter..._ Squall shook his head and pushed Laguna's hands off of him, but the older gentleman paid it no mind.

The President peeked around Squall and Rinoa, scanning the room. "Well, where are the others?"

"Quistis, Selphie, Zell, and Irvine have gone to scout the city and talk with the citizens and soldiers," Squall replied impatiently, arms folded across his chest. "They're gathering information for their own purposes."

"Sir Laguna, it's so wonderful to see you again as well!" Rinoa piped up before the President could respond. Laguna cast his eyes toward Rinoa and reached his hands out to take one of Rinoa's in his own. Squall's ice blue eyes narrowed downward as he watched the older man place one hand over the top of hers.

"Ah, Julia's daughter," Laguna sighed, with a flicker of nostalgia in his emerald green eyes. "Miss Rinoa Heartilly. You look so much like your mother. I've been meaning to tell you that for awhile now, just never got the chance to. Just as pretty too!"

Rinoa giggled, blushed and nodded her head in acknowledgment of his words. "Thank you, Sir." She paused for a moment and Laguna let go of her hands and took a step back, still smiling. "Now there will be none of this 'Sir' nonsense," he gently scolded the girl. "Makes me sound  _old!_  Laguna will do just fine."

Rinoa placed her hands behind her back, running the toe of her boot over the floor in circles. "Sir, sorry, Laguna... If I may ask, I was... I was hoping that maybe you could tell me more about my mother, please? What was she like? How do you remember her? The only memories I have are just her holding me when I was small and how she used to sing to me. Please?" She folded her hands to her chest, looking up at the black-haired man, her chocolate eyes glittering hopefully.

"Rinoa," Squall interrupted, a hint of exasperation in his voice, hand on his hip. "We really don't have time for this right now." Rinoa bowed her head in apology and backed away from Laguna. She took a few steps back and kept her head lowered, hands folded in front of her.

Squall felt guilty for a moment, wondering if he hurt her feelings, which he hadn't meant to. He just wanted to get this supposed meeting with Laguna done and over with as quickly as possible so he could concentrate on the mission. Squall couldn't help but sometimes forget that Rinoa wasn't accustomed to SeeD protocol and how specific things were handled. He would explain that to her later, and let her know he hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. Brushing off that thought, the Commander of Seed turned and looked at The President of Esthar once more.

"We're in a hurry. State your business."

Laguna chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Straight to the matter at heart, as usual! Just like a work-a-holic SeeD!"

Squall could recall that Laguna had said those words to him once before, and for some reason, it really annoyed him more than what he already is. His patience with all of this was growing thin. The President leaned in toward Rinoa and Squall heard him whisper to her.

"Psst... Don't worry. We'll have more time later, and then I can tell you more about Julia. Promise," he added with a wink, placing a large hand on the girl's small shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze. Rinoa lifted her head and gave a small smile, but chose to stay silent.

"Alright, let's go to my office and talk there. More private and we won't have a buncha onlookers listening in on what I have to say," Laguna stated, becoming more serious now and he beckoned all of them in his direction. Squall, Rinoa, Kiros, Ward, and Ellone followed Laguna down the massive hall and into his elaborately decorated office. He closed the door behind him, but before Laguna could begin speaking, Squall spoke up first.

"Look, Laguna. I'm not trying to sound rude here or anything," Squall began, but his tone certainly indicated differently. "We're not here on some social call, and you can't just call SeeD up here whenever you need a chat because something might be weighing on your mind."

"Squall, please," Ellone cut in, approaching her little brother. She placed a hand against his arm. "Please hear him out. This isn't a social call like you think it is, but it's important you understand what's going on here and what Uncle Laguna has to say."

Squall huffed, folded his arms and lowered his head. "Fine. Just please make it quick so we can get on with the mission."

"Hoo-boy, where do I begin?" Laguna began, scratching the back of his head once more. "Well, I'm sure you remember, Elle sending you back into the past in my head 'n all that, right? The faeries! Right, well you saw when we were in Winhill and everything, and how Raine brought me in and took care of me for all them months and stuff. Y'know, if I hadn't been for Raine, I really don't know if I'd be standing here today," he added as an afterthought, and Squall thought for a moment he saw a flicker of pain in Laguna's eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

Laguna cleared his throat. "Well, when Elle was kidnapped, Raine begged me to go and find her, and truth be told, she didn't have to beg me. I promised Elle and Raine both that I'd always take care of her, and if anything happened to her, I'd always go and find her and bring her home! Me, her and Raine, we were gonna be together, be a family and that's that, right? Right!" Laguna glanced at the thin girl at his side, and Ellone smiled, nodding her head at the President in agreement.

 _He sure is animated... like a cartoon character..._  Squall mentally noted, taking in Laguna's constant movement and mannerisms.

Then out of nowhere, Laguna began to slow down, the brightness leaving his green eyes as a dark cloud seemed to settle over him. "But now Esthar needed someone to run the city, and not rule it with tyranny and fear, so they appointed me as their president. I felt that Ellone would be safer back in Winhill with Raine, and so I sent her home. Once I could get the city back in order, then I could go back to Winhill, go back home and be with Raine and Elle. You see, Raine and I had gotten very close. About a month before Elle had been kidnapped, I sorta...," Laguna broke off and Squall noticed the man looking down at a silver ring on his left hand.

"You got married?" Squall questioned, hoping to help speed things along. He wasn't entirely sure why Laguna was telling him all of this, but deep down, he felt he had a pretty good idea at what this leading to. Though Squall himself wasn't sure if he was ready to accept it or not, he was pretty sure he had figured it out.

"Yeah! Yeah, we did. And uhhh... what was I talking about? Oh! Yeah! So a week before Ellone was kidnapped, Raine and I got married, and uhhh... oh boy, the townspeople were so mad. Heh, they never liked me much at all. There was this store owner who hated me so much, he would've easier just thrown me into the streets if he'd had Raine's permission, and the flower shop lady? Hoo-boy, she couldn't stand me! But they all loved Raine and supported her for her decision to be with me," Laguna paused once more and this time for certain he saw the pain in Laguna's eyes.

Rinoa cleared her throat softly. "So, even though the townspeople didn't like you and were against you, you still married Raine, Sir Laguna?" the young sorceress questioned, looking up at him with a softness in her eyes. "Oh that's true love," and she cast her glance elsewhere with a faraway look in her eyes. Squall couldn't help but wonder if she were thinking about him.

"Yeah, well... while I was in Esthar, working on rebuilding the city, Raine... She uh... well, she died while I was here," Laguna closed his eyes painfully, his voice unsteady. "The townspeople told me that one day she just passed away, but they wouldn't tell me what from. All they told me was that it was just a mysterious illness, never really specified what the illness was. Nothing. So, they had sent Ellone to live in an orphanage," he opened up his eyes and locked them with Squall's ice blue stare. "Kramer Orphanage."

"So, Ellone was sent to the same orphanage I was, right?" Squall stated placing a hand on his hip. "What does this even have to do with anything?"

"Squall, please just listen," Ellone pleaded once more. "Come on now, Uncle Laguna," the young woman encouraged the president who's demeanor was once so animated, he'd now slowed and was hardly moving. He seemed to be wanting to stare more at the floor than anything but kept his gaze locked on the young SeeD Commander before him. The way Laguna was looking at him made Squall uneasy.

"What... what I didn't know at the time was that Raine was, well... she was... pregnant," Laguna finally spit out. Rinoa gasped, eyes widening, placing a hand on her chest and Laguna scratched the back of his neck, unable to look at Squall. "The townspeople hated me so flippin' much that they refused to tell me that Raine was pregnant with our child, and died shortly after childbirth. She had given birth to a baby boy, our baby boy, a son! I had a son, and that was when both Ellone and my son were sent to the orphanage, and, well that baby was- ARGH!" Laguna grasped at his leg and began limping over to his desk.

"Sir Laguna!" Rinoa exclaimed, rushing forward along with Ellone. "Are you alright? Squall!" Rinoa turned her widened-eyed expression to meet Squall's, who remained outwardly impassive.

"Oh, this? Leg cramp. Heh. Old injury just flares up sometimes when I get nervous. Don't worry about me." He sat on top of his desk, rubbing the kink out of his leg.

_The usual leg cramps. Always seem to strike at the most convenient times..._

"Ha ha, sorry, what was I saying?" Laguna rambled, eyes cast downward. He glanced back up, a small smile upturning the corners of his lips, but seemed unable to speak. He looked toward Ellone for some sort of backup or support. She seemed to read him instantly.

"What Uncle Laguna is trying to say," Ellone began gently, looking at Squall, recovering her for her Uncle, recovering the words he seemed unable to say. "Is that Raine gave birth to a son. His son and that child of his had been sent along with me to the Kramer Orphanage." She stared hard into his eyes. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Squall?"

_What...? Does she really mean... No... No way. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't possible. It wasn't hard to figure out, but this? Is it really true? This bumbling, loopy fool? No, I just... No. How does this even... how can this... Why? Why now?_

"You're my father, is that what you wanted to say? That I was the child that was sent to the orphanage along with Ellone? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Squall seemed unable to stop himself, but he couldn't help it, and he couldn't ignore the pounding of his heart against his ribcage, almost as if it wanted to burst out of his chest. He maintained his breathing, trying hard to stay as calm as he could on the outside, but inside of him, his thoughts were racing, a storm was forming, and he wasn't sure if he could contain the storm this time. Rinoa glanced wide-eyed in astonishment from Squall to Ellone, to Laguna and then back to Squall, but the SeeD commander ignored it.

"Wha- I mean, well yeah, but Squall. You gotta understand, I had no-," Laguna stammered, trying to gather his bearings.

"So, Sis and I were left for all those years," Squall interrupted. "I was alone in that orphanage, alone for 13 years believing I had no parents..." Squall began, his voice becoming bitter. "I understand you had a duty to Esthar, and I appreciate your sense of responsibility to this city and its people, but didn't Ellone matter to you at all? You had a duty to her and to Raine." Squall could feel a sense of resentment building up inside of him, resentment he never knew he could feel, and he stopped himself before he could say more. He didn't understand why this was or why he felt the way he did. Maybe he was angry at the fact that he really did have a father. Squall had gone his whole life believing his parents to be dead and always thought of them as someone else. He certainly never thought that one them was Laguna.

"Well, I-I mean, of course, Elle mattered to me, and had I known I had a son, you would have mattered too, Squall! At that time, Esthar was more dangerous, and I knew she'd be safer at the orphanage, so I just-,"

"You just what? Left her there? You left her there and you left me there," Squall replied cooly, stormy eyes blazing.

"Squall, that's not fair," Ellone said, sounding angry. "Uncle Laguna had no idea you had even been born. He was just trying to protect me, and had he known about you, I'm sure things would've been a lot different," the girl tried to reason with him, but Squall turned away in disgust.

"We're done here," was all he had to say before turning to stalk out of Laguna's office.

"Squall, please I... what about the monster extermination!" Laguna intervened, running toward his son, his hand reaching outward to him.

"No, we are  _done here_ ," the Commander of SeeD repeated, putting emphasis on his final two words, and Laguna came to a swift halt. "Rinoa, let's go. We're going to find the others and leave here."

Squall turned sharply on his heel and made to turn toward the office door. He had to get out of there. He couldn't stand being in this room for another minute with Laguna, Ellone any of them. His thoughts slammed into each other, one right after the other, racing with such a ferocity that Squall thought his head might explode. He needed to get somewhere quiet so he could gather his thoughts and understand how all of this was even happening to him and now.  _Why now?_

"Wait a minute, Squall! We already have a signed contract from Garden! The Headmaster, Cid, signed it for us yesterday! You can't just break a contract!" Kiros piped up, walking forward toward where Squall was standing. He placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, to which Squall threw off. Ward thundered up next to Kiros, waving a hand wildly, eyes piercing into the SeeD Commander's own light blue ones.

_I can't... I can't be here right now. I can't deal with this right now. Laguna? Raine? They're my parents... I've had a father for 17, almost 18, years and never knew it. Maybe if, maybe if I just... if... No, I can't. I've got to leave. I've gotta get away. I can't handle this. I don't know what I'm doing._

"Is that so?" Squall responded with all the ice of a winter storm in his tone, but his outward features were emotionless and cold. He inclined his head to look over his shoulder and gave Kiros a solid glare. "Because just this morning Headmaster Cid appointed  _me_ the Commander of SeeD as well as Director of Garden Operations. Therefore,  _I_ am in charge of where SeeD will go, and what SeeD will do."

Kiros and Ward's eyes equally widened and they took a couple of steps back. Laguna had turned his back to Squall now, not daring to try and interfere with his son's conversation.

"The city is hardly in shambles, and I didn't see that many battles at all on my way here. Looks to me like the Galbadians and Estharians have everything under control. You're no longer in need of our assistance, so I am voiding our contract."

Laguna took a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping, but did not bother to turn around and face them nor did he bother to try and stop Squall, and for a single, brief moment, Squall felt a twinge of guilt, but was gone as quick as it was there. There were just too many jumbled thoughts filling his head that even if he had wanted to stay, sit down and try to talk about this, there was no way in hell he was going to be able to. He wasn't even sure he could form a coherent sentence in regards to all of this, so instead, he grabbed a dumbfounded Rinoa's arm and pulled her toward him.

"Let's go," was all he managed to get out.

An array of emotions was taking over Squall as he strode out of the office, and he wasn't sure how to handle them, much less if he could even control them. He set his jaw, clenching his teeth, and tried to keep his breathing regulated as Rinoa had to nearly run to keep up with Squall's pace.

"Squall? Squall, please! Slow down! Squall, we need to talk about this. We need to work through this, don't you-" but Rinoa was interrupted.

"SQUALL!" Ellone was running now to catch up with them, her green shawl trailing behind her. "Squall, wait! Please! Rinoa is right. We need to talk about this! You don't understand how important this is to Uncle Laguna, to me! How important it would've been to Raine!" Squall's heart leaped when he heard his mother's name mentioned, but he chose to ignore it. The older girl was slightly out of breath as she caught up with Squall and Rinoa. She grabbed the Commander's arm and with surprising strength, whirled him around to face her. "Squall Leonhart, you listen to me right now!"

"There's nothing to talk about, Ellone. What's done is done. Laguna's my father. I know, I get it. Now, will you please let go of me?" Squall did his best to keep a calm demeanor and stoic expression, but with the looks Rinoa kept giving him and the way she seemed to want to say something, he could tell his outer defenses were beginning to very slowly crumble.

"Squall, you have to understand. Uncle Laguna would have never shut you out had he knew that he had a son. It wasn't his choice to send me off to the orphanage. It was the villagers of Winhill. It was their choice, Squall. Uncle Laguna only did what he felt would keep me safe and protected while he handled matters in Esthar. I did my best to keep you safe and so you wouldn't be alone those first four years of your life. Squall, please try to understand," Ellone made attempts to explain, still grasping onto his arm. There was a begging, pleading look in her chocolate brown eyes like a small child trying to get someone to understand what they were trying to say.

Squall jerked his arm out of Ellone's grasp and fixed her with a piercing stare, but his voice betrayed his expression. It was calm and steady, though his insides were quaking with a growing rage. "And you, Sis. What about you? Why didn't you tell me? If you knew back then when we were sent to that orphanage, why didn't you tell me that I had a father? ...why?"

Ellone shook her head, lowering it. "Squall, I was just a child myself. I can't make excuses for the choices I made or what I may or may not have said and done when I was that young, but looking back on it now, maybe I did it because I felt it wasn't my place to tell you. Maybe I felt that soon, you would meet with Uncle Laguna and realize you had a father, so you wouldn't be alone in the world. After I left the orphanage, all I could think about was you. How I never got to say goodbye to you. I worried about you constantly, hoping that you were alright because I knew how alone you must have felt. A huge part of me hoped with everything I had that Uncle Laguna would come and take you away, so you wouldn't be alone anymore." Ellone's eyes began to sparkle with oncoming tears. "Maybe I didn't say anything because this is a family thing. A family thing between a father and his son."

_Family thing? But it didn't work, did it, Sis? Laguna never came for me. Nobody ever wanted me. I was always overlooked. Always. I had to learn to live by myself, didn't I?_

Squall made an indistinguishable noise at Ellone's words, and his expression changed from stoic to something he wouldn't normally allow one to see, but he had no control over it. He looked hurt, bewildered, maybe even betrayed, and he knew he did. "I thought  _we_  were family, Ellone..." was all he could manage to say, his voice dry and tight, no longer able to look at the person he thought was his sister for all these years, in the eye.

"Squall, please! I never meant to hurt you! Not ever. Not once. We  _are_  family. We will always be family, but what you could have with Laguna is something entirely different than what you have with me. You have a chance at having a father, Squall! And you know what? Uncle Laguna wants to be there for you! Do you know how happy and thrilled he was when he found out he had a son in the world that was waiting for him? He was so elated and he even cried. I'd never seen him happier than the day he married Raine, but to learn he had a son in the world. Her son. His son.  _Their_  son! He kept making a promise to Raine over and over that he would find you, and he would take care of you," Ellone told him earnestly.

"Uncle Laguna wants nothing more than to be your dad! He never knew Squall. Nobody told him Raine had had a son. He had only just found out as soon he and I were reunited again. I was the one who told him he had a son waiting for him! That's why he called you out here! That's why he made up some big excuse about needing SeeD here for a monster extermination because he knew that this was the only way you would come here and listen to him or talk to him!" Ellone's voice trembled with tears, her breath hitching.

Rinoa looked torn as she stood back a ways, glancing back and forth between the two, unable to say anything, unsure of who she should comfort.

Squall lowered his head unable to look at anyone, his eyes burning with rage and contempt, his head pounding with confusion, his heart taken over by emotions he never wanted to exist within him. It was too painful, but why? Why was it so painful? It was too much to take in all in one day. He had to figure this out. There was no way he could figure it out just standing here talking about it. He needed time to think. He needed to get somewhere quiet, so he could be alone and thought longingly of his awaiting dorm room at Balamb Garden that was still docked on Fisherman's Horizon. And suddenly more than anything, he wanted nothing more than to get as far away from Esthar as he possibly could.

"I can't do this. Not here. Not right now. I have to go," was all he could say before he turned and walked away from a now openly weeping Ellone.

Rinoa turned to glance at the older girl, giving her look of sincere apology, and mouthed 'I'm so sorry' before following Squall out of the Presidential Palace. The last thing that could be heard was Ellone's sobbing echoes. Squall remained silent as they took the lift down to the main doorway of the building but didn't shake off Rinoa's hand when it lay gently on his arm and squeezed.

After what seemed like forever, they were finally out of the Presidential Palace, but the squeezing sensation in his chest did not go away, in fact, the pressure just seemed to increase. Conveniently enough, Quistis, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine were all approaching the Palace just as Squall and Rinoa were coming out.

"Squall?" his former instructor addressed him, approaching the couple. She analyzed his face, and her eyebrows drew inward. "Wha-," the blond woman began to say, before Rinoa captured Quistis' attention, shaking her head side to side as if to say 'not now' and she caught on quickly. "So, what did you find out? What are we going to do then? Shall we set to work?"

"We're leaving," Squall replied huskily. "They have no need for us here. Everyone has the city under control, so we're leaving."

Everyone seemed to catch onto Squall's mood, but Selphie. "You mean we're breaking a contract!?" she asked incredulously. "But how is that going to make us look if others want to hire us!? Squall! Didn't you think about that!?" She stamped her tiny foot on the ground, fists clenched at her sides, but Squall just ignored the outburst, and Rinoa buried her face into her palm.

"They have no need for us here. That is all. We're leaving," the young Commander of SeeD responded, sounding completely monotone.

Without uttering another word, the rest of the SeeD members followed their leader into the escort car which drove them back to the outskirts of Esthar, and much later than Squall would have liked, they were finally climbing back into the familiar Balamb Garden vehicles. Zell quickly took the hint that it probably wasn't a good idea to ride along with Squall and Rinoa, so he opted to ride along with Selphie, Irvine and Quistis instead, which in truth, Squall was somewhat relieved. He didn't think he could deal with Zell's questions or loud outbursts at the present time.

The drive back to Fisherman's Horizon was a quiet one. Squall's grip on the steering wheel was much harder this time around, and any turns he made were a lot sharper than usual, causing Rinoa to grip onto the seat so she didn't hit the door or Squall's seat, but the young Commander said nothing. He delved into his thoughts as he drove, trying his best to separate them, but the more he thought, the more upset he became.

_Why didn't Sis ever tell me the truth? If only I had known. If she had told me, or if she'd even told Matron or the Headmaster, then they could've looked for my dad. Maybe I wouldn't have spent an entire childhood alone with some false, meaningless existence. Why is all of this about Laguna anyway? Did anybody ever consider how I might feel about this? I guess not... considering I cut myself off from nearly everyone so I don't feel as much pain. Why did I have to miss out on the good things in life? Rinoa... you were right. I did miss out on all the good things. If I hadn't missed out on them, maybe I wouldn't be this way. Why did nobody ever come looking for me? Why did nobody ever want me? Maybe Sis never wanted me either... I don't know. I'm so confused..._

Squall fought the urge to just pull the car over, stop and rest his aching head on the steering wheel. How was he ever going to begin to figure any of this out? Wasn't it enough that he already had Garden to deal with on top of this now? Squall could tell Rinoa was watching him, and as much as he loved her, he wasn't ready to talk about this. Not yet, and he wasn't sure if he ever would be, but more than that, Squall feared that if he opened his mouth to utter even a single word about all of this, he just might break, and if he broke, he wasn't sure if he could be fixed this time.


	5. Painful Realization

**Chapter 5- Painful Realization**

_Is this drive ever gonna be over? How much longer till we get back to FH? I really don't know how much more I can take..._

"Squall?" Rinoa's small voice broke the Commander from his thoughts and he glanced towards his young sorceress.

She had a sympathetic expression plastered on her face, her lovely eyes full of worry, and for some reason, it irritated him. Squall didn't need her sympathy. He didn't need her or anyone else feeling sorry for him.

"Can we please talk about this? This isn't something that you can just blow off and run away from." Rinoa stared down into her lap as her hands fiddled with a zipper on her shorts.

"I want to help you, Squall. I mean isn't that what couples do for each other? When they love someone, they want to help that person through whatever it is they're dealing with, right? So please," she murmured, placing her on Squall's wrist. "Please let me help. This isn't something you have to handle on your own."

"Rinoa, I'm fine. Can we please just drop this?" Squall muttered, turning his head back to stare out at the road before him.

"Oh please! You don't fool me for one single moment," Rinoa chided. "You seriously expect me to believe that everything you just learned isn't bothering you? Squall... please. You just found out that you have a dad."

The Commander just sighed and shook his head, turning once more to meet her chocolate stare. Squall gave her an 'I-don't-want-to-talk-about-this-right-now' expression because he did not want to even have this brought up to him let alone speak about it. Didn't she understand that? This wasn't something he was ready to just plop down and discuss like any old topic. This wasn't a mission or something equally related. Squall had many things he needed to figure out for himself first before he even tried to open his mouth about this.

Not only that, but he was doing everything he could to hold himself together. He felt like completely losing his cool, whipping out his gunblade and just slicing through as many monsters as he could, and he wondered briefly if maybe he shouldn't have taken out some of his heightening rage on those monsters back in Esthar. Rinoa huffed, sounding irritated, squeezing his wrist even tighter and narrowed her eyes at him stubbornly.

As much he loved Rinoa, and as much as he had opened up to Rinoa before about things, this wasn't something he could just open up about to her. Not just yet anyway. After a few moments, Rinoa sighed in defeat and hung her head, seeming to silently accept the fact that he simply did not want to discuss it or anything about it, but she didn't remove her hand from his wrist. Instead, she tugged it down from the steering wheel and intertwined her fingers with his, gripping his hand tight with a couple of reassuring squeezes as if to let him know she was there whenever he was ready. She gazed at him in tender understanding.

As the tracks of Fisherman's Horizon finally came into view, Squall breathed a sigh of relief, grateful they were finally back. He drove the car a bit faster over the tracks, causing a more turbulent ride than he'd really cared for, but Rinoa didn't let go of his hand and he didn't let go of the steering wheel. The quicker he could make it back to Garden, the better. Soon, the massive, beautiful metallic and blue familiarity of home sat floating before them, the ramp to the parking lot still stretched out as if welcoming their arrival back. Squall pulled his car into the Garden first, followed by Irvine. He pulled into a parking space and shut the engine off, letting go of Rinoa's hand. He dropped both of his hands into his lap, refusing to look anywhere but straight ahead, hoping she'd understand. Rinoa took the hint and slowly got out of the car, shutting the passenger side door behind her.

Irvine had followed Squall and Rinoa into the parking lot and they were now all getting out from their vehicle. Squall could hear their voices talking, muffled, but it wasn't hard to hear what Rinoa was telling their friends.

"Hey! Rinoa!" Selphie greeted the raven-haired girl cheerfully. "Where's Squall?"

"Is Squall alright?" Quistis asked, her brows down in worriedly. "He just didn't seem like himself as we left Esthar."

Rinoa shook her dark head. "Don't worry about it. Squall just needs some time alone. Let's just let him be for now, and when he's ready he'll come to us."

Squall observed his friends and his girlfriend in the rearview mirror as Rinoa smiled at all of them and ushered them out of the parking lot. She took one glance back at Squall, gave him a small smile and then turned and left with the rest of the SeeD squad. Squall had to admit that he felt grateful for what Rinoa just did for him because, in truth, he did need some time alone.

As soon as he was certain his fellow SeeD members were out of earshot and sight, Squall folded his leather-clad arms on top of the steering wheel of the car and dropped his head onto them, burying his face into them as if this gesture alone would make everything go away, but it didn't. The thoughts that had been plaguing him since they left the Presidential Palace were enough to send him over the edge.

_Sis... why? Why would you do this? Why would you wait until now to tell me that I had a father? Why didn't I know anything for 17 years... Why would you keep me in the dark like this? Did you not want me to know? No, that can't be it. You were just a kid too. Maybe you really didn't understand the importance of it back then. No, that's a lie. Sis was always the smartest one out of all of us. She was the oldest. She took care of us, she took care of me, and then she left.. She left me all alone... Why? Somebody, please tell me why? Why did I deserve for this to happen? Aren't I a person too? Am I really so bad that I didn't deserve to be raised by a mom or a dad? I wanted parents, just like any other child in this world. Maybe in truth, I still do... No, maybe I just need Sis. Wait, but Sis left. She left me all alone. I had to figure out how to survive in this world and make it on my own. Sis... Did you ever want me? Was I just an obligation for you because I'm your stepbrother?_

Squall took a shuddering breath as he lost himself in memories.

* * *

_He was no older than three years old when he woke up in bed crying loudly, his brown hair plastered to his face from sweat and tears, shivering. The older girl next to him with her chin-length, dark hair and chocolate brown eyes shushed him soothingly, holding the trembling young one in her own small arms._

_"It's alright now, Squall. It's okay. It was just a bad dream. Sis is here. Everything is going to be okay. I promise you."_

_Squall turned his small face into Ellone's shoulder to muffle his sobs while Ellone just brushed back his hair from his face, rocking him gently. Little Squall couldn't remember a time where he'd felt so comforted by someone and he burrowed and snuggled as far into Ellone as he could, feeling himself calm down in the warmth of her arms after his scary nightmare. Ellone hummed gently in his ear, lulling him back to sleep._

* * *

_(Sis? Where did you go? I've been trying... I've been trying hard to make it on my own. I have. I wish you were here now.)_

_A 10-year-old Squall Leonhart sat outside near one of the splashing pools of water surrounding Garden, and he tried to allow himself to be soothed by it's trickling sound, but nothing could soothe his lonely, aching heart right at this very moment. Sometimes he seemed to be okay, that he could make it through the day without missing her. Sometimes he seemed to fight against his own longing for Ellone, and missed her so bad it made his chest ache. Today was one of those days. He tried to focus on the book in his hand as he'd just finished one of his junior SeeD classes and was trying to find a comfortable place to study, when a hand grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulling him roughly to his feet._

_"Well look who we have here," a familiar voice sneered from behind Squall and he jerked himself out of the voice's grasp._

_He whirled around to come face to face with a set of harsh blue eyes, and blond, slicked-_   _back hair. (Seifer... What do you want?)_

_"Well Squally. Seems you're out here all by yourself huh? What's wrong? Crying and whining over missing 'Sis' again?" Seifer bullied. "You know you eventually just need to grow up and get over it."_

_Seifer grabbed Squall by the front of his shirt and pulled him up to his face. "She's never coming back for you, Squall. She doesn't want to come back for you. So get over it and move on, or is that what you're sitting here hoping for?" Seifer shoved the young boy down to the ground, where he landed on his side._

_"No," the young Squall replied back, standing himself back up and brushing the dirt and grass from his clothes. Seifer grabbed him again when two figures approached him from behind. One tall and tan-skinned, the other short and thin with silvery hair._

_"You tell him, Seifer! Show him what for, ya know!" piped up the male and Squall looked up to see it was Raijin and Fujin._

_He made sure to keep his expression as calm as possible as if none of this were bothering him, but in truth, he was screaming inside. He wanted Ellone. He wanted her to be there for him right now more than anything. (Stop waiting for Sis. She's not coming back. Seifer's right. She doesn't want to come back for me. Why would she?)_

_"LESSON," Fujin stated loudly, waving her hand outward, and Seifer motioned with his head at his two lackeys._

_"That's right. I'm gonna teach you a lesson, Squall. I'm gonna teach you how to man up. Fu, Rai, hold his arms!" he ordered the two while Raijin and Fujin hurried behind Squall and grabbed his arms, holding them fast behind his back. "You need to learn if you're gonna be in SeeD how to handle the pressure of a fight. You're just weak, Squall."_

_Seifer pulled a fist back and punched the young Squall square in the gut. Squall's head fell forward, gasping for breath as Seifer's blow knocked the wind out of him. He raised his head once more, narrowing his ice blue eyes into Seifer's, which only seemed to set him off even more._

_"Not had enough yet have you, Squally boy! This is how a real man handles the problem! Not a weakling like you!" He drew back his fist once more and buried into Squall's left jaw, causing his head to snap painfully to the side. Seifer laughed villainously, more amused than anything when a female voice resounded from behind him._

_"HEY! That's enough, Seifer! You guys let him go right now! I am not kidding!" A blond girl came running towards the trio and Squall, arms flailing wildly._

_"You stay out of this, Trepe. This is business between me and Squall!" Seifer shot back as he brought his hand up once more as though to slap Squall when a hand grabbed his wrist from behind._

_"I hardly think that will be necessary," a cool and soft female voice articulated, and Squall looked up with blurry eyes to see a woman dressed in black, with long, raven-colored hair flowing down her back._

_"Matron! Thank goodness you're here! Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin were picking a fight with Squall! Seifer kept hitting him! I saw it all!" a young Quistis cried out, her voice sounding extremely worried for such a young girl._

_"Thank you, Quistis. Why don't you escort young Squall to the Infirmary to have Dr. Kadowaki take a look at him and make sure he's not injured while I take Mr. Almasy and his friends to the Headmaster," she replied, turning her tawny green eyes sharply onto the trio. "I'll meet up with you Infirmary to check in as soon as I'm done with these two."_

_"Thank you, Matron," Quistis replied, bowing her head to the blacked haired woman. "C'mon, Squall. Let's go get you fixed up," she tried to soothe him by taking his hand and leading him toward the Infirmary, but Squall just snatched his hand back._

_"I don't need you to hold my hand. I can get there myself," he scowled, his jaw and stomach throbbing from the impact of Seifer's blows._

_"But Matron said I had to take you there, so whether you like it or not, you're coming with me!"_

_"Whatever," Squall grumbled as he begrudgingly followed Quistis back into the Garden, down the long, winding hallway, and into the Infirmary._

_Dr. Kadowaki sat quietly at her desk, studying some paperwork when Squall and Quistis arrived, and she snapped her head up as the two students came into view. "Hmmm, let me guess," the Garden's doctor began, eyeing Squall who was slightly bent over holding his stomach with his arms. "Sefier," Dr. Kadowaki and Quistis both said in unison. Dr. Kadowaki just shook her bunned head, bemused, and stood from her desk, approaching Squall while patting him gently on the back. "I can take it from here. Thank you, Miss Trepe."_

_Quistis nodded her head at the doctor and bowed out of the room. Dr. Kadowaki ushered Squall into one of the rooms of the Infirmary and sat him down on the bed. She took his chin in her hand to turn his face where Seifer's fist had made contact so she could have a better look at her patient. "Well, you've got some swelling starting and it looks like you might have a bruise there, but I don't feel any damage to your jawbone, and you're not missing any teeth, so that's one positive."_

_She stood up and ordered Squall to lie down on the infirmary cot. She felt around on his stomach and ribs, pressing ever so lightly and asking him questions such as if he felt any pain. Squall shook his head no but flinched when she pressed toward the left side of his navel._

_"That hurts, doesn't it? I don't think you have any organ damage or bruised ribs, but you may have some muscle and tissue damage. I'm going to give you an ice pack for the swelling on your jaw. That should help, and I'll issue you some pain medication, but you'll need to take it easy for a few days. No training in the training center so you can let that muscle heal. Actually, scratch that. I'd give it a week, at the most. I'll be right back with your ice pack and medicine."_

_Dr. Kadowaki left Squall laying on the infirmary bed for just moments before she was rushing back in the room to him with an ice pack for his face, a cup of water and a small plastic cup with two pain pills in it. She sat them on the table next to Squall. "You can rest here for now if you would like. You are free to leave whenever you start feeling better." She gave Squall a kind smile before pulling the curtain shut to his little room._

_Squall rolled over in the bed to face the wall, ignoring the ice pack and pills. He buried the side of his face, that wasn't hurting, deep into his pillow. Why did he always have to be the one picked on? Was Seifer serious when he said that Ellone was never going to come back for him? Squall closed his eyelids as tight as possible against the prickling sensation building up behind them. Maybe Seifer was right. Maybe that's why she had left in the first place. Maybe she was just tired of him, exhausted of his constant needing to be right there with her, holding her hand. Holding her hand always gave him that sense of security and comfort. Now that feeling was gone, and he was left cold and alone._

_(I'm sorry if it was me who made you leave, Sis... I'm really, really sorry.)_

_Squall couldn't stop the tears that had risen in his eyes and forced their way out of tightly shut lids. He kept his sobs as quiet as he possibly could so no one could hear him, letting his body tremble with them._

_(Seifer is right... I am weak... I need to stop this. I need to stop hoping Sis will be coming back. She's not coming back. She won't ever come back, but that's okay. I'm doing my best by myself. I can make it... I can make it all on my own. I'll show her. I'll show him. I'll show everyone!)_

_The young boy scrubbed at his eyes and steadied his breathing. He vowed to himself those tears would be his last. He would never cry again. He would never be weak again either. He would show Seifer, he would show everyone he wasn't a crybaby, and he didn't need anyone to hold his hand._

* * *

Squall lifted his tired head out of his arms and stared at the steering wheel to his car. Out of nowhere, he had an overwhelming urge to go back and visit the orphanage. He wasn't sure why, but something was telling him he needed to be out there. Running a gloved hand down his face, trying to make sure he maintained composure in front of everyone at Garden, the SeeD Commander opened up the door to the car, stepped out and slammed it shut. He was going to go to the bridge and tell Nida to take them to the orphanage. He had to. He needed to visit. If he didn't, then this nagging sensation wouldn't go away.

So that's what he did. He went straight up to the bridge where only Nida sat and told him to prepare to disembark. He ignored Nida's confused rambles, but Squall told him to re-mobilize Garden and to head straight for Cid and Edea's orphanage. After he gave his order, he turned and made his way back down the elevator to the bottom floor. Maybe he felt he could get answers to his confusion there. Maybe it was just a place of tranquility where he could easily gather his thoughts. Maybe he was running. Squall wasn't sure, but he felt somewhere deep down in him that if he went there then he might be able to figure things out, he just wasn't sure, but his head was beginning to hurt from the constant clashing of jumbled thoughts. Try as he might though, he couldn't clear his mind. Maybe out there, he could. Maybe if he just went and sat in his and Rinoa's flower field, it might help soothe the slowly growing, albiet confusing, ache in his heart.

As the young Commander of SeeD came off the elevator, he noticed Rinoa and the others standing near the Garden directory, a confused expression on all of their faces as he made his way down the steps toward them. It was more than evident that they realized Garden was mobile once more, and that they were leaving Fisherman's Horizon.

"Squall, where are we going?" Quistis was the first to ask as she stepped forward, her arms folded across her chest.

"We're going to the orphanage," he responded, remaining impassive and calm. The others opened up their mouths to speak, but he put one hand up, shaking his head.

"Why do we need to go back there for? What's so important?" Zell inquired, but Squall chose to ignore him as well as the other questions and protests coming from his friends.

"We're just... we're going and that's that. Don't ask me anything more about it," Squall stated firmly, as he turned his back toward them.

"Alright then. We understand, Squall," Quistis replied genially, and she and Rinoa turned down the hall, while Selphie, Irvine, and Zell departed in the opposite direction leaving Balamb Garden's leader to his thoughts.

He absentmindedly wondered where they might be headed, but it was the least of his worries. He decided that he himself needed to get elsewhere, but going up to his dorm wasn't an option. Squall was worried that if he went up to his room, laid in his bed and lost himself in his rampant thinking, his composure might crumble, and that wasn't something he was not willing to allow happen. Ever. He didn't want to lay around and think.

Squall decided that instead, he needed something to keep his mind occupied and busy until they reached the orphanage, so he opted for the library. He made his way into the quiet room, only soft voices could be heard here and there as he approached a bookshelf with one of his favorite series of books. Lifting a gloved hand to pull one down, he heard Rinoa's voice resound from the back of the library, followed by Quistis.

"So it's really true then?" Quistis asked Rinoa, sounding concerned. "Laguna is his father for sure? They're absolutely certain and there's no possible way they can be mistaken?"

Rinoa shook her pretty head. "No, there's not. Squall is Laguna and Raine's son. That was what Laguna wanted us to come to Esthar for more than anything, so Laguna could tell Squall that he was his son," she replied in hushed tones. "But please, Quistis. You can't tell anyone I'm telling you this. I don't think Squall is ready for anyone else to know."

"Don't worry, I promise I won't say a word to anyone. This stays between you and me." Quistis paused and then sighed. "It does make me wonder though how he's coping with this and if he's alright."

"Honestly, he says he's fine, that he doesn't want to talk about it, but I don't think he's coping well with this at all because I don't think he knows how," Rinoa answered her, the concern more evident than ever in her tone. "Quistis, I don't think he is fine like he claims to be. I really don't. He and Ellone sort of got into a fight about it too, and-," Quistis cut her off, gasping lightly.

"Wow, seriously? Squall and Ellone fighting? How on earth did that happen? What was said?" her blue eyes widened at this revelation.

"Mainly just Ellone was trying to get Squall to understand Laguna's position in all of this. He didn't even know he had a son until Ellone told him about it, so he's pretty much in the same place Squall is at, according to Ellone. She tried hard to make him understand how Laguna was feeling, but Squall wouldn't have it. You know how stubborn he can be, though. He didn't want to hear it. Personally, I think he's just confused and hurting. He doesn't understand how Ellone could keep something like this to herself for all of these years, never bothering to tell him he had a father out there alive and waiting for him, and why Laguna never took responsibility for Ellone when she was taken to the orphanage." Rinoa sighed, resting her cheek on her fist. "I can't fault him. If Laguna had shown up, Squall wouldn't have...," Rinoa's voice trailed off.

"Wow. I'm just... I mean that's a lot to take in. For both of them. I can't even begin to imagine what he must be feeling, but knowing Squall he'll brush it off as everything is just fine and say he doesn't want to talk about it. Laguna though? I wonder if he's alright? Poor Laguna. He must be so frustrated. Squall can certainly be difficult to deal with, even at the best of times."

"Squall is hurting, Quistis. I know he's hurting. He thinks I can't tell, but I can see it his eyes. I just feel so bad for him. I feel bad for all of them. Ellone started crying, and I wanted to go to her so much, but then I also wanted to go to Squall more. Knowing him though, he would've just shoved me away from him," Rinoa closed her eyes painfully. "Why won't he let me in? He's let me in before, but why not now? I want to help him. I want to help them both. I want him to have his father."

Squall peered through the bookcase's opening, watching the two girls converse. Rinoa looked up at the older blond girl in front of her, and Quistis took one of her hands in hers. "Don't worry, Rinoa. We'll help him get this figured out. He may not  _think_  he needs us, but he does. He especially needs you."

_Dammit! Rinoa, why! Why did you tell Quistis! How do I know she won't run and tell everyone in Garden now! And you feel bad for me? Really? I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I don't need anyone's damn sympathy._

Attempting to control his anger, Squall crept out of the library as quickly as he could before anyone could notice his presence. He ran through Garden's halls as fast as he could, ignoring any onlookers. He ran all the way out to the Quad until his lungs burned, and found with a great relief that nobody was out there, and so he ran up onto the terrace, just outside of the Quad, and allowed the wind rushing past him to blow through his hair. He closed his light blue eyes and lifted his face toward the sky as if the wind surrounding him could sweep all of his anger, all of his thoughts, all of this pain or whatever it was he was feeling, away.

His heart did a great leap into his throat as he peered down over the edge of Garden and could see Cid and Edea's old house coming into view. It was still derelict and crumbled as ever, but his heart throbbed in his chest and pounded in his ears. Before Garden could even touch down, Squall grabbed onto the balcony and swung himself over the railing, landing hard on his feet in front of the orphanage.

Raising himself up and clutching the hilt of his gunblade, squeezing so hard that he wondered if he might not break it, he made his way into the old, white, broken down home that once used to be his. This house, it was filled with memories. Memories of happiness, of solitude, of sorrow, loneliness, and longing. Squall hung his head and shook it back and forth.

_What am I doing here? Why did I come here if all it was going to do was plague me with horrible memories? I must've had a reason, right? No, I don't think I did. Maybe I just wanted to run away as far as I could get from this whole mess, but you can't run away from your problems, right? People always tell me to face mine, but... I don't know how to face them. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore... I'm so lost... I'm so confused... can somebody please tell me what's the right thing to do? Anybody? Someone?_

* * *

_"Oh, George! Look at this little one!" a cheerful, redheaded woman, short and plump approached a 6-year-old Squall. "He's so handsome!" He sat crouched down in a corner of the house, wearing a green striped t-shirt and a pair of jeans with sneakers that had come untied. "Hello little one," she greeted kindly, lowering herself so she could be eye to eye with the boy. "What is your name?"_

_Squall felt his throat close up with shyness as he stared at the woman, unable to say a word. He just turned his head away from her, closing his eyes. It had been two years since Ellone had left and not a day went by that he didn't miss her or hope in some way that she'd come back with him. He didn't want to be adopted alone. He needed his Sis to go with him too. "Are you shy? Why don't you tell me your name, sweetie?"_

_"Just leave that one alone, Martha," a gruff man spoke up as he approached his wife. "I don't want our son to be a mute. Let's go. There are plenty of children here," he grabbed his wife's arm to tug her up, but not before the lady, by the name of Martha, reached out to touch Squall's face gently._

_"I'm sorry, little one. I hope you find a home soon."_

_A few hours later, Squall watched with a heavy heart as the young, blond boy that Seifer always referred to as "Crybaby Zell" was adopted and taken away from the orphanage. Taken away from him. Just one more person to leave Squall all alone._

* * *

With a strangled cry, Squall brandished his gunblade and sliced it through one of the standing pillars, pouring every ounce of strength and emotion into this attack.  _Why didn't she tell me!_ He thought furiously to himself as the top of the pillar came crashing to the ground.

He lifted his weapon once more above his head with a leap and sliced through the top half of the pillar now laying split in two on the ground.

_Why didn't anyone ever want me! ***slash***  Why did I watch so many kids get adopted!  ***slash***  Why didn't I ever get to have parents too! Why didn't my dad ever come for Ellone so he could find me!  ***slash***_

With another yell, Squall flung his gunblade into the side of what remained standing of the white pillar.

_Why does everyone side with Laguna! ***slash***  Doesn't anyone even care about how I feel?  ***slash***  Everyone wants me to talk to him, but I don't know if I can do that. It's just poor Laguna this. Poor Laguna that! What about me!  ***slash***  Why doesn't anyone care about how I feel!  ***slash***  Why do I have to be the one suffering! No, no I don't want anyone's sympathy. Not from one damn person! I don't need it!_

"I DON'T NEED IT!"

The young Commander of SeeD knew he was just lying to himself, which made his insides writhe with rage even more. With every angry thought that burst into his mind, Squall destroyed every single last remaining, crumbling pillar that once stood in front of Edea's old house. The place that used to be his home, but was no longer. Squall breathed heavily as he could feel the sweat on his brow, running down the sides of his face and neck, his chest heaving with every gasp for air. He didn't hesitate to kick open the wooden door to Edea's house and made his way through the ruins of what used to be an immaculately, beautiful home to himself, Matron, Cid and many other children.

Squall forced his way through, slashing through bits of broken wall with his weapon to clear them out of his way, not really paying attention to where he was going until he felt a cool breeze and smelled the scent of flowers and ocean water surrounding him. He gazed forward and realized he was standing on the back porch that lead to the flower field where he had made his promise to Rinoa.

He stood in the field for what felt like hours, wondering why he bothered even coming out here. Rinoa had to of been looking for him, right? So was she going to come here and find him? Did he really want her to? He questioned again why he ever bothered coming back here in the first place. All it was doing was bringing him more rage and more anguish, and that was something extra he didn't need. This just wasn't something he knew how to cope with at all, and for the first time in awhile, Squall felt truly lost.


	6. And The Skies Opened Up

**Chapter 6- And the Skies Opened Up**

Squall wasn't sure how long he stood out in the flower field, alone, staring at the sky. It could have been long hours, or maybe even mere minutes, he wasn't sure. He'd lost track. The clouds rolled by, grey and menacing, suggesting that he might be seeing a storm soon. Squall ignored the cool breeze that swept around him, lifted from the ocean's surface. He could smell the salt in the damp, chilly wind mixed in with the scent of the flowers he was surrounded by.

Squall could've cared less. Let it storm. It was already storming inside of him enough as it was. Maybe if it rained on him, it might wash away a little of his pain and help ease the storm brewing inside of himself. The young SeeD ran a hand through his hair and looked around him, thinking of how differently his whole life would've been had Laguna known about him.

_Why couldn't it have been different? If Ellone had told me about Laguna, we could've informed Matron and Cid of this and found him. We could've had an entirely different childhood. Not one built on abandonment and loneliness..._

Squall sighed as he walked quietly around the field when we heard a sound of rustling grass behind him. There was a small whine and the Commander turned around to see Rinoa's faithful companion, Angelo, but no sign of Rinoa herself, just her dog. He looked up at Squall with an almost understanding look in her doggy expression and gave another whine. The young man turned to crouch down and pat Angelo on top of the head.

"What do you think?" he asked the dog who wagged her tail nub in response. "Do you think that if I had known I had a father, things would've been different? My life would've been different?" He knew it was silly, but Squall still couldn't help but feel robbed of having that sort of experience.

_Would I have chosen the path I'm on now? Would life not have been so lonely for me and less complicated? Would I have not missed out on all those good things in life that Rinoa and I talked about?_

Squall sighed and shook his head. "It's so hard to figure this out," he admitted quietly to the dog _._

Am I really angry with Laguna, or am I just angry because I never had that opportunity to experience what it was like to even have a parent? My mother, Raine... she died giving birth to me. Did she die to bring me into this world? Why? Why does that have to happen? I understand death can take a person at any time, but why does it have to be so painful and hard? Why do people have to become just a memory or never a memory at all but someone you could have known? Like a parent? Like... a mother?

Angelo nudged at Squall's hand as it had stopped petting her head and gave a breathy whimper. Her chocolatey, puppy eyes stared directly into Squall's. "I just don't know anymore, Angelo," the young SeeD spoke in barely above a whisper, giving Angelo one last scratch behind his ears before standing up once more to look at the sky. He felt a small drop of rain splash on his face. Squall stepped out a little further into the field, trying to piece together his conflicting thoughts.

_Get close, though... What if I did? Everyone seems to want me to give Laguna a chance. What if I listen to Rinoa and Ellone, and I do give him a chance? What if we get close and have a real father and son relationship, but then one day Laguna is just taken from me the same way Ellone was? Nobody can predict the future, but there's always the what-ifs, so what if I did that and exactly that happened? I don't think I could handle it. No, I know I couldn't._

_What if Laguna gets to know me, the real me, and doesn't like me? What if he decides that he has a disgrace for a son? What if he decided he didn't want me after all, just like those other adults that came to the orphanage didn't want me? Nobody wanted a quiet, introverted, sulky kid, right? I doubt Laguna wouldn't want me either. I just don't know... I just don't know how to do this. I can't handle this. I can't deal with this! It's too much to think about!_

Squall gazed down at Angelo, feeling his knees weaken and his resolve waver. "I just can't do this." And without warning, Squall collapsed onto the ground, feeling much like he had felt back when was lost in time before Rinoa had saved him from seemingly inevitable fate. "I don't even know what I'm doing, so how can I do this?" he murmured and Angelo sat in front of him, whining softly, her small puppy head tilting. Squall never noticed Rinoa had been hiding behind a crumbling pillar watching every moment, observing every word Squall had said.

As she stepped out, Squall could hear the sounds of her footsteps on the white pavement before she began rustling through the flowers and grass. He hung his head, listlessly, not bothering to look back in her direction but he knew she was there. He could sense her presence stronger than ever.

_Rinoa... she's here. She came out here and found me. Just like we promised..._

Not wanting to admit to himself that he honestly did need Rinoa at a time like this, he was more grateful than anything that she had shown. However, what happened next though, he did not expect.

Rinoa dropped to her knees behind Squall and threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly, pulling his body back against hers and laid the side of her face against the top of his head. The initial shock wore off, and it reminded him of back on the Ragnarok when they were floating together in space how Rinoa just fell right into his lap and wrapped her arms around him then, cupping the side of his face in her hand. With one arm around him, she did the exact same thing with her other hand, soft and gentle, her thumb gently stroking his chin.

Squall began to tremble slightly, unsure of why, but he leaned into Rinoa's comfort, doing his best to keep control of his emotions. He wasn't sure if he just wanted to be silent, or if he wanted to break into another aggressive action, or if he just wanted to crumble. The Commander silently cursed himself for feeling so weak. This wasn't how a Commander was supposed to act, but he couldn't help from it. Too much had been laid onto his shoulders, the anvil baring its weight had finally sent him to the ground.

Squall tried hard to swallow back the burning lump rising his throat and took a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh to try and calm himself; to clear his mind. It was starting to rain now, very lightly, a soft, cool mist of sprinkles falling on him and Rinoa, and despite her hold on him, he shivered.

"Everything will be okay, Squall," Rinoa's tender voice sounded from behind him.

She squeezed him just a little harder and he drew his knees up as if trying to hold in all of his pain with just that action alone. Rinoa had probably never seen him so vulnerable, and Squall himself wasn't sure of the last time he felt this way. He lay his head back against her and closing his lightly colored, blue eyes with letting the calmness of her voice soothe him.

"I know it will. It'll get better, but you have to let us help you if you want it to. Let  _me_  help you, Squall." She laid her face next to his own, her breath tickling his ear with every word.

"As soon as I felt Garden land, I knew you would be out here. I saw you destroy those pillars," she added sheepishly. Squall could feel his cheeks warming, slightly embarrassed that the girl he loved could witness him in such a sight.

"Sorry," was all he barely managed to say, keeping his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to look at anything around him. He was content as he could be like this just for now.

Rinoa shook her raven colored head. "No, don't be sorry. It wasn't something you could keep locked up inside forever, but Squall... going around and destroying things won't make it any less hard. "We can fix this, Squall. We can figure everything out together," the young sorceress encouraged him, soft determination heard in her voice.

"...How?" Squall croaked, cringing at how terribly weak and pathetic his voice sounded. He honestly did want to know how because he wasn't even sure himself how he could go about figuring all of this out. He leaned forward once more, dropping his face into his hand, allowing his fingers to thread through his hair.

"I'm not entirely sure, but anything can be figured out if you just try," she squeezed her knight once more before letting go of him, and Squall felt strangely empty as the warmth of Rinoa's arms left his shoulders. She stood up and walked around to the front of him, crouching down and tilting her head lightly. "Just trust us. We can help you do this."

A bitter laugh escaped Squall's lips, indicating that didn't believe it could happen, and he felt more strongly in his heart than ever that it couldn't. He didn't know how to make it work, how to fix it or how to make it better. There were so many questions he had that begged to be answered, so many emotions he could feel that it felt like it was overtaking his every sense of being.

He couldn't figure out if he were angry at Laguna for not taking responsibility for Ellone and coming to the orphanage to get her, thus discovering he had a baby boy waiting for him. He couldn't figure out if he were still angry at Ellone for keeping something like this from him for all of these years. He couldn't figure out if he was angry at himself, or if he was just scared to try, or scared to get close, because of his fear of abandonment, and fear of having that sense of comfort taken away from him, just like he'd explained to Rinoa once before.

But, Rinoa... She was different. She was the exception. He could protect her and keep her close to him at all times. Rinoa wouldn't go anywhere, she wouldn't leave him all alone in the cold. He could feel Rinoa reach out and grasp his wrist, pulling his hand away from his face.

"Squall, please. Please just talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me how I can help! I want to help you with this. I want to be there for you like you were for me," she pleaded softly, her grasp on his wrist not relenting. "Let me rescue you this time."

_Rescue me...?_

"I don't want to talk about it, Rinoa. I can't talk about it, and I don't need rescuing," Squall snapped, not really meaning to, but he lifted his scarred face now, locking eyes hard with Rinoa's.

He saw her eyes widen, her eyebrows draw upward, and her mouth slightly fall open, and he knew. He knew that Rinoa could see the terrible pain and the anger that was thoroughly visible in his stormy, blue eyes and now he was causing her pain. She drew back, slightly, grasping the rings that hung from the silver chain on her neck, but did not break his stare.

"I heard you and Quistis," he began, his voice growing quiet now. "I heard everything you said."

Rinoa hung her dark head in shame. "Squall," she began softly, sounding afraid he'd be extremely angry with her. "Please understand I didn't tell Quistis to betray you because I would never do that. It was just that I needed to talk to someone about this I could trust. Quistis cares about you just as much as I do, and so does everyone else. We just feel bad for you, Squall and this entire situation you're in. You just keep closing us off. All we want to do is help you."

Without warning, Squall stood up, jerking Rinoa's hand away from his arm, and stood tall as the soft rain that had started to fall began to pick up speed and consistency. It was coming down a lot harder than before, soaking the both of them to the bone, but the young Commander did not care. Rinoa stood up as well, facing him, her face filled with surprise and hurt that Squall would act in such a manner toward her after all they had been through.

"I don't need your sympathy, or anyone else's," he replied, coldness dripping in his tone, and he turned his back toward her, letting the rain crash into his face as he lifted his head toward the sky and closed his eyes.

Rinoa had had enough. "Why! Why after everything,  _everything_  we have been through together, are you shutting me out now!" the young sorceress finally exploded. "Why won't you let me in, Squall! I know you're hurting! I know this is killing you! I can see it! I don't understand why you think you have to put on some big, bad brave, ridiculously  _stupid_ farce pretending you're just fine and 'you don't want to talk about it' when I know it's eating you alive!"

Rinoa grabbed at his arm, much like Ellone had and tried to pull him around, but he kept firm, not allowing her to get the better of him. She made sniffling sound from behind him and Squall cursed himself once more. Great, now he'd hurt Rinoa. When was he going to just stop screwing up so much?

"I'm here for you, Squall," Rinoa's voice trembled with oncoming tears. "Why won't you let me help you with this? Why won't you let me in? I thought you trusted me. I thought... I thought you loved me," her voice broke off with a hitch of her breath, followed by a sob, and Squall turned around, looking at the sorceress once more, and despite the rain, he could see her dark, chocolate eyes swimming with tears, which within moments, were now spilling down her cheeks in steady streams, mixing with the rain. He hated seeing her cry, and he hated himself even more for being the one to make her cry, but what he didn't realize was that Rinoa wasn't crying for herself, and it took him a moment to realize that she was crying for him. That alone just made him even more furious.

"Dammit, Rinoa!" Squall finally lost control, the dam that he had so carefully constructed inside of himself couldn't hold back the pressure anymore, and it burst. Wide open. "Of course I trust you! Of  _course,_ I love you!"

He ignored Rinoa's gasp at his words, and he realized to himself that this was the first time he'd ever told his sorceress that he loved her, but he did and he wasn't about to stop now. Even if he tried to maintain his thoughts, they were rising to the surface and being pinned down with words now, and he realized he had no control over what he was saying. His voice was growing louder with every word.

"I just don't know how to deal with this! Isn't this my problem anyway and not yours? Why would I want to burden the people I care about with my own, stupid issues. Not only that, but none of you would understand! You wouldn't even  _begin_ to understand!"

Squall could feel his heart throbbing in his chest, his breaths coming in great, sharp heaves as every ounce of emotion, of anger, of resentment, of rage came billowing out of him like a waterfall.

"Don't you understand this at all? No, you wouldn't because you've never been there! I lived alone for 17 years with no parents at all, and then just one day out of nowhere, I have a father? Is he alive? And Ellone knew about this! She knew Laguna was my dad but never bothered to tell me! On top of that, just say that I do get close to Laguna like  _everyone_  wants me to. What if I  _do_  give him a chance, and I lose him! Just like that! What if he disappears?"

Squall tried to force himself to stop, but he just couldn't. What would Rinoa think after she heard all of this? That he was just a selfish, whiny brat that didn't get his way as a child? He didn't care anymore. Why did it matter anyway?

"What if he decides he doesn't want me for a son, what then? I spent weeks, _months_  of my childhood watching adults come to this orphanage and adopt the other kids, but not me, never me. Nobody ever wanted me. I watched these kids get lifted into their new mom or dad's arms and be cuddled and loved on. I never got to experience that. I never got to even know what that was like beyond Ellone. She was the only one I had, and when I was just 4 years old, she disappeared and I was left all alone again. I cannot deal with that, Rinoa. I can't. I can't get close to someone else and have them taken away from me, because then what are you left with? Loneliness, and it's so miserable." Squall took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself, while Rinoa walked forward and grabbed his hands into hers.

"But you got close to me, Squall. Doesn't that count for something?" Rinoa paused for a moment, trying to get him to look at her and she gave his hands a careful shake. "What about all of your friends? What about Quistis, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine? You're close with them, aren't you? Don't tell me you're not because I know you care about them, and even though you're not seeing eye to eye, you're close with Ellone too. That's no different than Laguna, Squall."

"It's incredibly different," Squall replied, his voice lowering. "I can protect you, Rinoa. I can keep you safe. My friends are SeeDs. They're strong and they can protect themselves. You won't disappear from me like Ellone did."

Squall took another breath, his lips parting slightly. "Rinoa, this isn't just something that can be fixed with a friendly chat. Laguna had no responsibility for his step-daughter. I understand he had a duty to the citizens of Esthar. I even appreciate that fact, but don't people always say that family should come first? Why didn't it come first before Esthar?"

Rinoa just nodded her dark head silently, allowing him to speak, eyes never leaving Squall's. "If he would've just came back, Rinoa... If he would've come and found Ellone in the orphanage, he would've discovered that he had a son. He would've found me like I'm sure Raine would've wanted. M-my mother (he found himself almost struggling to say the word 'mother') would have wanted Laguna to raise Ellone and me together, and he didn't. He just left Ellone here. He left us here. He left  _me_ here, Rinoa and I spent 13 years alone as a result."

Squall's voice was beginning to lose its steady tone, and his eyes were becoming disturbed by a burning sensation behind them, prompting Rinoa to reach her hands to his face, cupping it gently.

"Squall, I understand what you're saying. I really do, but you know, we can't predict the future, right? Even if something really bad like that were to happen, would you really want to miss out on the opportunity you have right now?" She questioned gently, rubbing her thumbs softly over his cheeks. "You've already missed out on so much, but you're still young and you still have that ability to experience those things. Do you really want to miss out on finding out what it could be like to have a dad?"

Squall's vision became increasingly distorted from the moisture that had begun flooding his eyes, and he cursed himself silently, trying to force it all back. He absolutely would not cry over this. What would Seifer say, or everyone else for that matter, if they could see their strong, silent SeeD Commander succumbing to a weakness such as crying? They would probably laugh at him for being pathetic. Squall sniffed, blinking the burning rapidly from his eyes, and pondered Rinoa's words.

"I don't know," his voice cracked slightly. "It just-," stopped himself from saying  _it hurts._ He didn't want Rinoa to know he was hurting, even though he was positive that she already knew, it was easier to just not say it out loud.

"I know," Rinoa replied in soft understanding, letting go of Squall's face and taking his hand, pulling him over to sit down on one of the broken pillars. He followed her willingly and they took a seat together, Squall staring out at the flower field, watching the rain slow its descent. Rinoa let out a long sigh next to him.

"I think you should at least go back to Esthar and give it a try. Try and talk to Laguna. I'm not saying just open your heart to him, Squall. I know that will take some time, but maybe if you guys met up and had dinner or a drink or just sat and talked for a bit, you might be able to start somewhere. Just take baby steps."

Squall just shook his head, looking away from Rinoa. "I honestly don't know if I can," he admitted, and he felt Rinoa's hand on his face once more, pulling it back to look at her.

"Squall, listen. I have a horribly estranged relationship with my father because of certain circumstances that both he and I allowed to tear us apart," she began, her face flickered with pain. "I miss the days where my dad used to hold me and hug me or tell me he loved me. I can't remember the last time he did that with me, and as angry as I am at him, I still miss it and I long for it. Nobody should have to go in their lifetime without knowing what it's like to feel comfort from a parent, Squall."

He could see that Rinoa was trying hard, and as much as he hated it, she was getting through to him. She was probably the only person who could. Rinoa wasn't done though.

"You have that opportunity now. I don't want to see you and Laguna become driven apart like me and my father over something like this when this is an issue that can be worked out. I'm not saying it'll happen overnight. It will take some time, but it can be fixed," the young sorceress did her best to explain. "It would break my heart to see the same thing happen to you. Laguna isn't even anything like my father. He's not cold and uncaring. He is so full of happiness and cheer and love, something my father hasn't shown in a long time, and you should let him fill your life with what that feels like. I know he wants to, Squall. Just give him that chance."

Without warning, Squall pulled Rinoa close to him, wrapping his arms around her tight and laying his head on her shoulder, face against her neck and he closed his eyes, breathing softly, allowing his lashes to flutter against her skin. Rinoa equally put her arms around Squall, holding him just as tightly while she ran her fingertips lightly through his slightly unkempt hair. Perhaps she was right. There was no harm in trying, right? If it didn't work, he could just move on with his life. As long as he still had Rinoa, Squall knew he'd be okay, and he had to admit, after finally talking to her about this, he did feel a bit better, but there was still that nagging feeling twinging at the back of his neck.

Maybe he did need to go talk to Laguna. He didn't want Rinoa hurting for him, and he knew that he didn't want to hurt like this anymore either. Maybe what he needed was just a new start with Laguna. Start over from the beginning, get to know the guy more than what he knew from when Ellone sent his consciousness back into Laguna's past. Perhaps there was more to the President of Esthar than meets the eye.

"I still don't know I feel about this, but I'll give it a try," he finally sighed into her neck before lifting his head and holding her back slightly to take in her beautiful expression that had changed from sadness to hope. "I'll do this for you."

"Don't do it just for me, Squall. Do it for yourself too," she couldn't help but smile at him, and Squall, though still feeling somewhat reluctant about the entire thing, gave her a small smile himself. "You should also go and talk to Ellone too. You guys need to make up. She just needs to understand how you feel too."

Squall nodded his head. That much he could agree too. He had to admit that it frustrated him that Ellone couldn't seem to see how or why Squall was hurting, or that she just seemed mainly focused on how Laguna was feeling, but he also didn't like being at odds with her. He didn't want to fight with his Sis. He reached a gloved hand to brush back some of Rinoa's raven locks.

"I'll try." He cupped her chin and lowered his face toward hers.

"That's all I ask," Rinoa breathed softly and lifted her own just as equally. Their lips had barely brushed when Rinoa surprised Squall. "You know," she breathed against his own. "You finally told me you love me."

Squall's lips parted slightly, as they touched Rinoa's. "Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I?" And their lips met in a smooth, tender kiss. It was then that Squall realized he was truly in love with this girl, and how grateful he was to have her in his life, and so he blanketed himself in her, saturating himself in her comfort, her compassion, her warmth, her love.

A little while later, Squall and Rinoa soon found themselves back in Garden's central hub, surrounded by Quistis, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine. They were all silent and seemed as though they were reluctant to say anything to their Commander for fear of setting him off. Squall felt a twinge of guilt for making his friends feel that way as it wasn't his intention, but he had been so caught up in his own swirl of thought and emotion that his actions only spoke for themselves and not actually what he was feeling.

Squall had never been that great at expressing himself, but he had to admit he was getting better at it, thanks to Rinoa. He stood next to her, holding her hand and their fingers intertwined as the others all stood around him, not really looking at him, but trying their best to show their attention was on their leader. The only person, asides from Rinoa, that seemed at ease with Squall was Quistis, and he knew that this was because Quistis knew the truth even though she wasn't letting on that she did. He couldn't fault Rinoa though. Sometimes you just need someone you can trust, and Quistis proved herself to be that person.

"Why don't we all go to the Quad so we can talk?" Rinoa suggested, pointing in the direction of the Quad. "That way we won't have people listening in on us and we can talk privately."

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and followed Squall and Rinoa out to the Quad. Selphie hurried and rushed over to the stage, hopping up on it and plopping down on her rear, swinging her legs in a childlike manner. Irvine, who always tried to act cool and chill, began to strut her way, while Quistis leaned up against one side of the stage and Zell just remained stationary near Squall.

The young Commander of SeeD cleared his throat. "Listen everyone. I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting since we left Esthar," he began and everyone's heads snapped up, staring at Squall in astonishment. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"I had just discovered some serious information that could have a huge impact on my life, not only here at Garden and as a SeeD, but as a whole. I was told that the President of Esthar, Laguna Loire, is my father."

They all gasped, while Selphie broke out in an overzealous squeal. "Oh  _wow_ , Squall! Sir Laguna is your dad!? That would be the coolest thing ever! I'd love to have Sir Laguna as my dad! He's just so awesome and fun to be around!"

"Whoa man! How did you find out about that!?" Zell blurted out, his voice sounding just as dumbfounded as the rest, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

"Sis told me. That was the main reason why Laguna wanted us to come to Esthar. He had to make up an excuse for seeing me, and that was hiring SeeD to help clean up the monsters and fix the city, but in reality, it was about telling me who he was."

Squall explained, attempting to not sound like he was reading from a textbook. It was awkward enough trying to apologize and tell his friends what was happening, but Rinoa stood next to him, giving his hand reassuring squeezes to continue. She gave him a glance, letting him know it would be okay to say what he was thinking, silently reminding him through expression that this is what they wanted. They wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling so they could help him get through the problem.

"I... I wasn't sure how I should handle it, and so I closed up. It was my problem. It wasn't anyone else's," he stammered, sounding somewhat nervous, but did his best to keep telling them. He was making progress. "I didn't want anyone to share the burden."

"Squall, you should know better than that now," Quistis gently scolded him. "We want to share your burden so we can help lift some it from your shoulders. You've had a lot put on your plate in a very short period of time."

"That's right," Irvine drawled, nodding his head in agreement with the former Balamb Garden instructor. "You're tryin' to take on too much by yourself. We want to be able to help you with this stuff."

"Hell yeah!" Zell spoke up, his voice resounding. "Let's us help, Squall! You don't gotta handle all of Garden's operations on your own. We can step in and help you with things when the going gets tough so you can figure out the rest of your own stuff, and if you need to rant about it, we're here to lend an ear." He approached the Commander and clapped a hand gingerly on his shoulder.

Squall felt himself stiffen as Zell's hand made contact him, but it was more out of reflex than anything. It was just something he would tend to do and assumed it was most likely from closing himself off from human contact for so long. Squall relaxed a bit as Zell's hand patted his shoulder a couple of times before he withdrew it.

"Yeah! We're here for you, Squall!" Selphie joined in, hopping down off of the stage in the Quad and approached SeeD's leader with the rest of them. They were now all standing in front of him, their eyes bright with happiness and determination, and Squall felt the chill in his heart warm just a little bit at this gesture.

"Thanks," was all he could manage to respond. "Now that that corny (he ignored Selphie's protests) stuff is out of the way, we need to head back to Esthar. Zell, tomorrow after breakfast, I want you to go up to the bridge and let Nida know we're going back to Fisherman's Horizon. That's under my order. Quistis, we're going to take on this mission for Laguna. I won't be voiding the contract. I want you to go up and re-prepare the proposal for the President so I can give it to him when we get back to Esthar. Selphie and Irvine, you can help Quistis with the proposal if you so wish."

His four fellow SeeD's all saluted Squall and left to go and do as he told them, leaving him and Rinoa alone once more. He couldn't help but wonder and worry somewhat about what might be awaiting him in Esthar. Would Ellone even accept his apology? What about Kiros and Ward? Would they allow him entrance back into the city? Would they even want to talk to him? What about Laguna? He'd been so cold and uncaring toward his own father, for his own selfish purposes, he wasn't sure. Though, it was like Rinoa said. He had to try, right? He took the blue-clad girl in his arms and pulled her close to him, closing his eyes as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo and he felt her small arms tighten around his waist.

_I'm doing this for you Rinoa, because I know you don't want me to go through this anymore, but I also need to do this for myself, or I don't know if I'll be able to move on._


	7. Too Close For Comfort

**Chapter 7- Too Close for Comfort**

Squall stood with Rinoa out on the terrace of Garden's balcony for what seemed like hours when the sun was finally making its descent in the west, traces of the impending night appearing before them. Stars were beginning to sprinkle the ever darkening sky, and the moon began to shine. Squall suppressed a yawn behind his gloved hand, feeling his eyes growing somewhat heavy.

The whole entire day had been one of overwhelming, emotional exhaustion for the young Commander of SeeD, and he thought longingly of his bed waiting for him up in his dormitory. Rinoa wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and he could feel the warmth of her body pressing against his, and he slipped his arms around her, drinking in the sweet comfort she emanated.

"Squall, I know you're tired," Rinoa stated, matter-of-factly, her dark eyes piercing his own. "Why don't we head back to your dorm so you can get some sleep before heading back to Esthar in the morning? I'll stay right with you if you would like for me too?"

Squall nodded his head while trying to cover up another yawn.

"Sorry," he apologized, rubbing at his tired, aching eyes with his fingertips. "Yeah, I suppose I am."

He pulled away from her and she grabbed hold on his hand, as the two made their way down the dark, and now quiet, corridors of Garden. Soon, they had reached his dorm and Rinoa was slipping off her duster, while Squall shrugged off his jacket, pulled off his gloves, laying them on his desk. Rinoa was already turned toward the bed, pulling down the covers while Squall plopped down, unbuckling his boots with another yawn.

Rinoa laid down and patted the mattress next to her with a small smile.

"C'mon, Squall. Lie down. Get some sleep. You've had a rough day."

Squall nodded in agreement. Yes, honestly he had. The headmaster had laid more responsibility on him than anything he'd ever handled before, he had fought with Sis, but more importantly, Laguna Loire, President of Esthar was his father, and he never knew it. For 17 years he had lived his life, never knowing he had a parent out there still alive.  _Why?_  Squall found himself pondering once more. He brushed back the bitter thought, trying his best not to think so he could just sleep and laid down next to his sorceress, rolling over onto his side to face her. She reached a hand up to brush locks of hair out of his eyes and traced her finger down his scar.

"Just sleep. Everything will look different in the morning."

Squall sighed and closed his eyes, trying to relax, but the nagging sensation about Laguna kept playing with his mind, preventing him from lapsing into the much-needed sleep he desired.

"Rinoa, what if it doesn't?" He finally asked. "I honestly don't even know how to begin to deal with something like this. What do I say to him?"

Rinoa sighed softly, continuing to stroke his forehead, and Squall finally closed his stormy, tired eyes, enjoying the comfort the dark-haired woman was providing for him.

"Squall, please. Don't worry about that right now. You need to go to sleep, forget about everything for tonight, and we'll figure things out tomorrow morning once you're more awake and have had a restful sleep. It's not important right now." Squall listened to the soft chime of Rinoa's voice before they eventually began fading out and he found himself drifting off into what he had hoped was a peaceful, calming sleep.

* * *

_Squall stood in the Central Hub of a busy Balamb Garden, surrounded by his group of fellow SeeD members and Rinoa at his side. The gang of SeeDs followed their Commander out into the open, standing near one of Garden's many crystal blue pools of water, small, trickling waterfalls splashing into it. He watched with a tender feeling in his heart as his friends all chatted animatedly with him and one another, and it was all he could do to keep from smiling. He felt Rinoa's arm around his waist pull him closer to her and he equally squeezed her back._

_The young SeeD commander didn't seem to notice that it was growing quieter by the moment around him as the students that had been noisy and busy, were disappearing one by one. He was so focused on Rinoa and his friends, that he didn't actually notice it until Selphie gave out a small cry. Inclining his head toward the younger girl, Squall couldn't help but gasp as Selphie held out her arms._

_"S-Squall!? Irvine!?_ W-what's _... what's happening to me!? Quistis!? Rinoa!? Help me!"_

_Squall started to rush forward, but something invisible, almost like a barrier or shield was holding him back. Much to his horror, Selphie's arms were beginning to fade, turning transparent, followed by her legs, torso, and her face, screaming was the last thing he saw, before the cries from his other friends were soon following Selphie's._

_"NO! SELPHIE!" Much to Squall's horror, his friends were disappearing before his very eyes. "ZELL! QUISTIS! IRVINE! YOU CAN'T! DON'T GO!" Squall lurched into the invisible shield holding him back. He pounded, punched, clawed and slammed into the barrier separating him from his friends but to no avail. He listened to their anguished cries and watched helplessly as they all seemed to fade from existence the same way Selphie did. He whirled around toward Rinoa and ran for her, reaching for her hand to grasp it. "Rinoa! NO! YOU CAN'T GO TOO! PLEASE!"_

_"SQUALL!" Rinoa cried out as she whipped her arm out toward his, trying to grasp his hand, and much to his dismay, Rinoa was thrown violently from the invisible barrier surrounding the Commander._

_He fought and pushed and shoved against the force field, beating into it until his fists were raw, ignoring the cries of anguish leaping from his throat as he watched his beloved Sorceress slowly clamber to her feet and she too began fading from existence. Everything around him was growing dark, and the only sounds that could be heard were him screaming Rinoa's name, Rinoa crying out for him, along with her anguished screams echoing all around him as the love of his life disappeared before his very eyes and he was powerless to stop it._

_"NO! PLEASE! NO! RINOA! ZELL! QUISTIS! SELPHIE! IRVINE!_ NO _, YOU CAN'T! NO! RINOA! DON'T LEAVE ME!"_

_"SQUALL! HELP US! PLEASE! DON'T LET IT TAKE US!" came another desperate, familiar female voice from behind him and he whirled around, just to see the images of Ellone and his parents, of Raine and Laguna, being pulled away, fading into darkness, into nothingness._

_"MOM! DAD! SIS! YOU CAN'T! NOT MY FAMILY TOO! PLEASE, NO!" Squall howled, not caring if there was anyone else around to hear him or not, but it was to avail. Nothing but black, empty void that surrounded him, and the SeeD Commander sunk to his hands and knees, landing heavily with grief and despair. "I'm... all alone..."_

* * *

"NO! YOU CAN'T! RINOA! MOM!" Squall writhed, the sheets tangled up in his legs and his eyes flew open as he flailed. He flew upright in the bed, unsure if he was still lost in the darkness.

"Squall! SQUALL! CALM DOWN! Squall!" Rinoa yelled, reaching over him to grasp onto her knight's wrists. "You were having a nightmare! It's okay! I'm here! I'm right here. Squall! Look at me. LOOK-AT-ME." Rinoa demanded, and Squall whipped his head in her direction, breathing heavily, sweat sliding down the sides of his face, brow, and neck. His chest heaved with every breath, shuddering gasps escaping his lungs.

"R-Rinoa? Rinoa. I can't. Don't go. Please, please don't go."

Squall didn't even care about how pathetic he sounded, he just grabbed ahold of Rinoa and held her as tight as he could without hurting her. She felt warm, real, and not like she was disappearing in his arms. It took him a moment to realize that it had all been just a terrible nightmare. He felt a sense of comfort and a strange ache in his throat fill him as Rinoa wrapped her arms just as tight around him, holding him as close as she possibly could.

"Squall, what on earth? I'm not going anywhere. You have nothing to worry about. I'm right here, okay? Right here. I'm with you." He buried his sweat-soaked face into the crook of her neck and swallowed hard at the lump that had formed in his throat. "It was just a dream. It wasn't real. Whatever you saw, whatever you felt, it wasn't real, okay? I'm real and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"W-where are Zell, S-Selphie, Quistis, and I-Irvine?" Squall stammered, his entire body trembling in Rinoa's hold. "Are they okay?"

"They're fine, Squall. Everything is fine. Everyone is in bed asleep. We're in Garden. Everyone is completely safe and nothing happened," she soothed, running her slender fingers through his hair. "You really scared me. That must have been some nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"

Her voice whispered as she laid her head on top of his. Squall just shook his head. He felt that if he'd said anything at all, he may just fall apart right there in her arms, and no way was he going to allow that to happen.

"It's okay. Shhhh. C'mon. Let's lay back down. Nothing will happen. I promise. You just lay here with me and go back to sleep. I will never leave you. I will never go anywhere unless you're with me, okay?" Rinoa consoled her knight.

"I saw my... my mom and Laguna and Sis. They disappeared, you disappeared and I just...I don't want to be alone," was all Squall could say as he and Rinoa lay back down.

She tenderly reassured him that he would never be alone again, and she cradled him that night. Allowing him to lay against her shoulder. Rinoa lay with him for hours, stroking his hair, whispering to him softly before finally lulling the shaken SeeD back to sleep. She made sure to stay awake long enough to make sure he was really sleeping before finally drifting off herself.

The morning dawned rather dreary and grey. The sky showing impending signs of more rain. Balamb Garden was still parked outside of the orphanage judging from the sky. Squall's eyes fluttered open as the dull morning light broke through his dorm room window, and felt his face pressed against something soft. Rinoa still had her arms wrapped tightly around him, the same way she'd been holding him when he'd finally managed to fall back to sleep, one of her hands still buried his light brown locks. His face was resting just above her breast, against her collarbone. He blinked a few times, careful not to disturb her slumber as the memories of his nightmare from last night came flashing back into his mind. He felt Rinoa stir and slightly pull back.

"Mmmm hey," she murmured gently, stroking his hair with her fingertips. She scooted her slender body down the bed a little more so she was face to face with Squall and brought her hand down to trace along his jawbone. "Did you sleep better?"

Squall gave her a small smile and allowed a hand to trail down her bare shoulder to her elbow.

"Better than what I was. It was comforting having you here, Rinoa." He huffed a short breath, hesitating for a moment before breaking her gaze. "I... sorry about last night," he mumbled shyly. "It was just a really horrible dream. One that felt real."

He rolled over onto his back so he wouldn't have to look at those dark, chocolate eyes staring so intensely into his own, filled with so much worry and understanding. He wasn't ready to start off his morning this way. He had plans and things he wanted to do today. The Commander knew he needed to get his head on straight to take on the whole new challenge of possibly pursuing a relationship with his newfound father. Especially a complete and utter goofy clown like Laguna Loire.

"It's okay, Squall," Rinoa's soft voice sounded next to him as she propped herself up on one elbow, resting the side of her face in her hand and gazed down at the Commander. "Do you... maybe want to talk about the nightmare you had? Sometimes that helps."

Squall shook his head and pushed himself up into a sitting position in the bed.

"Nah, not really. I have too many things to worry about today. I need to get cleaned up and dressed and head to the bridge, so you should probably head back to your room. I gotta let Nida know we need to set a course for FH so I can go find Laguna, and...," his voice trailed off as he ran a hand through unkempt locks. "Yeah." He found he couldn't really say much more, and Rinoa just gave him a knowing smile with a nod.

_Honestly... I don't even know if what I'm doing is the right thing or not... go to Esthar, find Laguna. Talk to Laguna. Get the answers I need, and then try this whole father/son thing that Rinoa and everyone else insists on. But what if it's not that easy?_

Rinoa stood up next to him and placed a hand on her knight's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"I know what you're thinking, and knowing you, you're probably overthinking. So, try not to think so much on this one, Squall. Instead of trying to use your brain so much, let your heart guide you with this." Rinoa placed her hands behind her back and leaned forward, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

Squall gave a small snort and glanced at Rinoa with a slight smirk. "Do you have any idea how cheesy that sounds?"

He ducked when Rinoa reached over to the bed and chucked a pillow at his head before marching toward the door in mock-anger, her feet playfully stomping, hands at her sides in fists. She glanced back over her shoulder, reassuring him that she was just kidding around by smiling and sticking her tongue out at him.

"One of these days, you're gonna stick that tongue too far out and a bird is-," but he was cut off by Rinoa's silly gasp of playful protest.

"Squall Leonhart, you are such a big meany. MEANY!" She laughed and blew him a kiss as she slipped out of his dorm room, leaving the Commander shaking his head in amusement.

"And she's the fearful sorceress people are supposedly so afraid of."

He tugged his clean clothes from their hangers and dresser drawers and headed towards the showers get himself bathed, dressed and ready for the day, wondering what it would bring him.

"A tiny girl who sticks her tongue out and calls people 'meany...' so complete horrifying," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he strolled out of his dorm room and to the showers.

An hour later, a freshly showered, fully dressed Squall headed toward the cafeteria area, feeling his stomach actually growling and churning at him from hunger for a change, and not nausea from all the stress and pressure that seemingly fell on him out of nowhere. Luckily, the line wasn't long and shortly getting a tray with some eggs, bacon, toast, and a hot cup of coffee that would hopefully give him some energy for the day.

"Hey! Commander!" Came a shouting voice echoing from across the cafeteria and Squall glanced over to see the overzealous martial artist waving his hands back and forth to get the SeeD's attention. "Over here!" Squall sighed and shook his head, but saw that Zell was gathered at a table with Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, and Irvine. He plodded his way over to the table and sat down next to Rinoa. "So, big day, eh? Heading back to Esthar to-,"

"SHHHHH! Zell! Squall doesn't want the whole school knowing just yet, so keep it down." Quistis scolded him quietly and harshly.

The blond man pursed his lips and pouted, but remained silent with his arms folded over his chest. Squall shot Quistis an expression of gratitude. This wasn't something he was ready for everyone to know just yet. It was only something that he'd discussed privately amongst his closest friends. He ate his breakfast in silence while his friendly chattered idly around him, pondering what would happen today when he finally did meet up with Laguna when the familiar chimes of Balamb Garden's intercom rang across the room. They all glanced upward.

_**"SQUALL THIS IS HEADMASTER CID! REPORT TO THE BRIDGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I REPEAT. PLEASE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE ASAP. THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT IMPORTANCE THAT CANNOT BE DELAYED FOR LONG."** _

The headmaster's voice resounded and echoed. Squall could tell that this was something of the utmost importance, and if that meant waiting to go to Esthar, than he would. He was, first and foremost, a SeeD. His sole duty lie with Garden, and if there was a mission that required his full attention, that would have to come first. Family issues would have to come later.

_Wonder what he wants this time...? I hope it's nothing too serious, but if so..._

Squall pushed back his chair, leaned down and gave Rinoa a quick kiss, which was followed by a catcall from Irvine, rolled his eyes, dumped his tray and ran to the elevator. He pushed the button, waiting for it to lower and stepped on, his heart beginning to beat anxiously against his ribcage. The Commander was unsure as to why he felt so nervous. It couldn't be anything too extremely serious, could it be?

He tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator finally reached the lift to the bridge. Squall stepped on and soon enough had reached the bridge of Garden and what used to be Headmaster Cid's office. He was greeted with, not the headmaster, but someone else was standing where Cid normally would be. His dark hair streaked with grey tied back into a low ponytail, his light blue, collared and button-down shirt and usual khaki-colored pants. Squall had to hold back a gasp as the President of Esthar stood on the bridge waiting, his hands tucked into his pants pocket and his back to Squall.

"Laguna...?" The SeeD Commander questioned incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

_Of all people and at this time of a morning? And I was on my way to see him... this is seriously awkward._

Laguna's head jerked upward at the sound of Squall's voice, as the lift came to a halt and he turned around to face his son. Squall was unsure why but the moment he met his father's eyes, he felt guilty. He moved to the side of the bridge, folding his arms and glancing down at his side, closing his eyes so as not to look into the earnest and almost pained emerald-colored eyes of his father.

"Ah yeah, heh... fancy finding me here, huh?" He raised a hand rubbing at the back of his head. "I... uh sorta decided to come out this way right after you left Esthar. Kiros and Ward don't even know I'm gone, but I'm sure they know why I'm gone or where I'm at, or something like that anyway." The goofy President laughed nervously, and Squall just stood staring at the floor, still unable to meet the man's eyes.

From the other side of the bridge, a heavier-set man clad in a red sweater vest and glasses, his brown hair smoothly combed stepped forward surprising Squall. He hadn't even noticed Headmaster Cid standing there and was in too much of a shock to bother with a proper SeeD salute to his Garden's headmaster. Cid cleared his throat and approached the young man, a knowing twinkle in his eye that made Squall feel somewhat uneasy, and he fought the urge to roll his eyes at the entire situation.

"Squall. I'm sure you're probably a bit stunned to see the President of Esthar standing here on the bridge like this, but considering the situation, I felt it necessary. I'm going to leave you with some parting words before I leave the two of you alone," the headmaster began as he placed a hand on the Commander's shoulder. "You only get one father and one life. Life is not just measured by how many battles we fight, how many people we save, but it is also measured by those important people in our lives and the memories we make with them. Squall, it may not seem ideal at the moment, but a father is definitely an important person. Treasure that while you can. A lot of the students here do not have that luxury. You have a chance now. That is all I will say." Cid lowered his head, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, stepped away and disappeared from the bridge.

Squall pondered briefly over Cid's words before he heard Laguna sigh heavily. He sure didn't know how to start a conversation with this man. Could he even hold an intellectual chat?

"So, I've actually been out here since last night. Your Headmaster Cid there sure is a nice guy. Letting me in, letting me talk and all that stuff. Even housed me for the night. We didn't tell you because we just... didn't want to burden you with knowing I was here. Cid felt it best we talk in the morning after you'd rested up. Not much gets by that man, that's for sure!" Laguna laughed nervously again, continuing to rub the back of his head.

"Look, this ain't a great place to talk. This thing can fly, right? Do you think...?" the President began, hesitating for only a moment and glancing up to meet Squall's light blue eyes once more, and Squall definitely did not mistake the flicker of pain that shone in Laguna's own green ones. "Might I make a suggestion?"

Squall waved a hand, letting him know it was fine and Laguna cracked a smile grin. "Maybe we could go to Winhill? I'd like to take you out to the pretty little flower field where your moth- where Raine is buried. It'll be a lot more private and quiet out there. We can visit her and... I dunno, maybe talk some? Like I told you back on Ragnarok before you guys went to fight Ultimecia. We really do have a lot to talk about."

Squall was a bit taken aback at Laguna's request, but in truth, he had to admit he was a bit curious, and maybe going somewhere quiet like that to talk to Laguna might help set the record straight on a few things. Who really knew, right?

_I still don't know if this work or how this will even work, this whole father/son thing... but maybe Cid is right. Maybe I do have a chance now. Maybe I should take it..._

"Sure," Squall replied dismissively. "I'll get Nida. He's Garden's pilot. He'll take us over to Winhill. Won't take long. Maybe about an hour so long as we don't run into any rough terrain or high winds."

Laguna's eyes seemed to brighten at Squall's words as the Commander called for the Pilot over Garden's intercom. It wasn't long before Nida was on the bridge and navigating Garden to Winhill, their next destination. Squall and Laguna remained mostly silent as they stood on the bridge, watching out the windows, watching the water go by, the different towns and land, and the Commander buried himself in thoughts once more.

* * *

A while later, Squall and Laguna were both stepping off of Garden and into the grassy plains just outside of the village of Winhill, filled with pretty wildflowers. A soft wind rustled petals and long blades of grass here and there. It was so warm, lush and green here, with splashes of color from each flower.

"It's just a little ways ahead," Laguna told his son as they walked forward and soon a single, lone gravestone began to come into view.

It was a white, marble color decorated with intricate designs and details. Engraved with Raine's name, and a golden angel wing motif across the top of it. Squall felt a strange catch in his throat as the memories of the time Ellone took him to the past flashed through his mind and of the woman with the long, brown hair, pushed back with a yellow headband and teardrop earrings dangling in her ears. She was adorned in a white turtleneck sweater and jeans bustling behind a bar counter cooking, scolding Laguna, and washing woman was his mom.

Squall pictured her face as clearly as he could from what he remembered during Ellone's dream trips to the past. Her eyes were actually the same as his, now that he really thought about it. Her hair, the same color as his own. He heard the sound of her voice talking to a young Ellone about Laguna echo through his mind as the two men found themselves in front of Raine's final resting place. Now it made sense as to why Kiros had told Squall he looked just like his mother.

Laguna was the first to crouch down, his elbow resting on his knee as his other hand reached out to carefully place a small flower arrangement on his late wife's gravestone. He glanced up at Squall who stood at his side, the SeeD's throat feeling oddly tight. The only time he'd ever visited a gravesite was back in Trabia Garden after the missile attack with his friends, and that was more to support Selphie than anything.

This was very foreign to him and yet... he couldn't quite describe the odd feeling rising in his throat, and he wasn't sure it was a pleasant one. However, he watched as Laguna patted the ground next to him inviting Squall to kneel down with him. The Commander took a breath and slowly lowered himself down, crouching on one knee, and stared curiously at his mother's name etched across the marble rock. Unconsciously, he reached a hand out to touch the stone with his fingertips.

"Hey, Laguna?" Squall finally found the courage to talk after moments of silence between the two. His father glanced over at Squall, his expression slightly surprised.

 _If I don't ask him now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to..._  He sighed and shook his head.  _Now or never._

"What was... Raine... my m-mother... what she was she like?" he blurted out shyly, unable to meet Laguna's eyes.

Laguna chuckled. "Oh, man. Raine was... she was an amazing woman. I'll bet you saw her when Elle took you back into my past, huh? That was her. She could be harsh, she could be scolding and sometimes even a bit rude, kinda like you, huh?"

He laughed but Squall found his cheeks flushing, and he stared at the blades of grass brushing up against his mother's tombstone.

"She was just a tell-it-like-it-is kinda woman, but everyone in the village? They loved your mom, and so did I. She took care of me, nursed me back to health when I was near death, and I repaid her back in every way I could by exterminating monsters that got in the village or too close to the village so I could keep her and Elle safe, and anything else at all she needed help with. Though we had our moments. Moments where she was kind and caring. You know. This field is where I proposed to her. Oh, and did she love flowers," Laguna sighed wistfully with a sad smile, gazing down at the gravestone. He reached a hand out to finger the petals laying on her stone. "I miss her."

Laguna closed his eyes with a grin. "She filled the villagers' homes with those special white ones of hers. Only she had the magic touch that grew them. Nobody else ever could. She was stubborn as all get out too. When she set her mind to something, that was that," he added with another chuckle. "You really do remind me so much of her, Squall. Kiros was right. You look just like her. You're a spitting image of Raine. Especially your eyes. You have your mother's eyes." Squall lifted his head, inclining it to meet his father's earnest eyes once more.

They were so honest and sincere that he could hardly stand it and wanted to look away. Yet somehow he couldn't force himself to pull away from the look his father was giving him. So much could be said just by looking at his eyes. Words that Squall couldn't bring himself to say. He could see the years of remorse built up, the grief, the loss, and suffering, but also the happiness, the fond memories, and the overwhelming amount of love this man carried for his family and those closest to him. Even Squall. And he knew it, but somehow he struggled to grasp it.

His head was clouding up and he couldn't really form a rational thought. A strange emotion began to fill up his chest, something he never experienced before, and he felt his heart squeeze, his throat tighten and his eyes fill with burning wetness. Laguna's smile fell and the next thing Squall knew, his father was grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling Squall's face to his chest.

"Shhh, it's okay son. It's all okay. I'm here for you now," Laguna murmured, wrapping both arms tightly around his son's shoulders and resting his head on top of Squall's, one hand rubbing his back comfortingly.

The young man didn't even realize what was happening. His body stiffened, his arms just remaining at his sides before the first hitch of his breath escaped his tight throat and Squall found he could no longer swallow back the lump, and then he felt the warmth of salty water sliding down his cheeks and soaking into the front of Laguna's shirt. Another sob escaped him, and he realized he was actually crying for the first time in years, shoulders trembling as Laguna held him closer. But why? Why was he even crying? Was it really over her? He didn't know Raine personally. Just what he'd seen of her in Ellone's trips to the past.

_What is wrong with me? What is even happening? Why do I feel like this?_

Maybe it was the fact that during the time his consciousness had been taken back there, he'd spent that time with Raine, in a sense. Maybe it made him feel like he knew her, and now knowing she was his mother that made it even more real. Or maybe it was because he'd never really know her or what it was really like to have a mother. Maybe it was the fact that for the first time in his life, he had a parent there with him. One holding him closely and allowing him to just be a kid, to just soak up that comfort a parent has to offer.

Was this what Rinoa was talking about? That feeling of comfort and security from a parent? Is this what it was like? Perhaps it wasn't so bad. So, for the first time in years, Squall let himself cry, silent sobs catching in his throat, breath hitching, and he let the tears roll. He felt a warm, large breeze surround him. It brushed through his hair, almost as if a mother were tenderly threading her fingers through it, and he could smell the strong scent of those white flowers and thought he'd heard a faint female voice say his name on the wind, and he cried a little harder, still unsure as to why. Perhaps it was just the longing for his mother's touch at least once and it made his imagination play tricks on him. Truly, this was all beyond his understanding, but he couldn't stop.

"I'm sorry," Squall's voice tight and tinged with tears, unsure of what he was even apologizing about. He just felt he needed to. Laguna gently began rocking him back and forth in his arms.

"Nothing to be sorry about, son," the President replied his own voice tight and choked, and Squall could feel the man holding him, his father, shaking against him as well, and knew his father was just the same as him.

Maybe all of this was stemming from the fact that for the first time in his life, he was with both of his parents, one holding him and comforting him and the other no longer with them, but yet with them. At this point, it didn't matter. His mind was too jumbled to think. Overcome by emotions he didn't realize even existed within him had drained him of any rational thought. Nobody was there to see him. Nobody was there to witness this, to judge his behavior. So for now, Squall felt it was okay. It was okay to grieve for the mother he would never know and welcome the comfort of the father he would come to know.


	8. The Impending Storm

**Chapter 8- The Impending Storm**

Squall was uncertain of when his arms went up around Laguna's waist to hold onto him. He wasn't entirely sure of how long he clung to his father like a lost child. He wasn't sure how long he allowed his tears to flow. It could have been minutes, maybe hours, but he didn't care. His face was pressed comfortably against Laguna's chest, but was silently relieved as he felt the tears slowing and soon coming to a stop. The only thing left over was the dampness on his face and sniffling back what was left. His hitching breath was relaxing, returning to normal and steady.

_What the hell just happened with me...? Why did I do that? I don't do that... I swore I'd never do that again... But was it really so bad? I really think this is what Rinoa meant. This was... actually comforting. I don't know. Maybe I needed this? Nobody is here to judge me if I just stay like this for a little longer..._

As silly as it was, for a while there, Squall didn't want to let go. He felt like he was 10 years old again. At some point, Laguna had lowered himself to his knees, while Squall had collapsed against him, arms wrapped tightly around the older man in front of him. He had enjoyed the feeling of comfort Laguna was providing him. The warmth of strong arms around him, unlike Rinoa's dainty and gentle ones, made him feel secure.

The rubbing of a circular pattern in the middle of his back or the stroking of his hair made him feel safe. The weight of Laguna's head against his own; the quiet soothing tone of his father's voice made him feel what it might be like to really have a parent. It wasn't quite like what Matron had shown him as a child. Sure, she had done her best to soothe and care for all the children in the orphanage when Squall was young, but this was different than anything he'd ever felt and while he did enjoy it, it also somewhat alarmed him. He wasn't used to it. Now that he was gathering his composure, his thoughts were forming much more coherently.

Squall found himself releasing his grip and putting a hand up against Laguna's shoulder to push himself back, his head lowered in embarrassment after he came to the realization of what he'd just done in front of the President of Esthar.

_Good grief, if Laguna opens his big mouth and tells everyone, I'll never hear the end of it. Especially from Quistis and Zell... and Seifer were to find out... oh man..._

Squall took a large, shaky breath, regathered himself and felt his father reluctantly let go of him. Squall caught a glimpse of the President's face and he was almost certain that he saw a twinge of disappointment in his green, red-rimmed eyes. Squall inwardly groaned because this had been the last thing he expected to happen before he heard Laguna clear his throat awkwardly.

"Uh, well, heh, I'm sure it goes without saying, but uh, you alright? I mean considering what just happened here, it's been a long time since you just kinda let anything out like that, eh? I mean really... how long has it been?" Laguna chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his dark hair tinged with silver streaks.

Squall felt his face flush red and warm, and he averted his face so as not to look at Laguna. He felt embarrassed enough as is that he just let himself go like that in front of Laguna. A man he felt like he really knew but hardly knew at the same time, a man who's supposed to be his father. It left Squall feeling conflicted about his feelings.

"A long time...," the SeeD Commander finally mumbled out. He picked at the blades of grass on the ground in front of him. "When I was a kid, after I swore to myself I was not weak, I also swore I'd never cry again."

He felt himself become even more ashamed for expressing such a heavy emotion in front of a man like Laguna, but at the same time it felt like some of the weight had been lifted off of his chest. Not all of it, but some. Maybe finally letting himself feel something, letting himself cry it out a bit was what he needed. He wasn't sure, but it was still kind of humiliating.

A moment of silence hung between the two. Squall could feel his father's eyes on him, but he refused to look at the President. He wasn't sure he could deal with anymore cheesy, sympathetic looks or words. He had let his guard down for the moment, and he definitely didn't want to do that again anytime soon. However, a burning question had lingered on the back of Squall's tongue. He gathered up his courage before he finally could bring himself to ask what he'd been wanting to ask since he learned the truth.

"Laguna... can I ask you something?"

Laguna's dark head tinged with streaks of silvery grey snapped up to look over in his son's direction, and Squall chanced a look at him, catching the curiosity in his green gaze.

"Sure, son! Anything! Go right ahead!" The usual enthusiasm that was Laguna returned back to his voice, which made Squall feel guilty for wanting to ask such a deep and serious question, but if he didn't take the chance and do it now, he wasn't sure he'd be able to bring himself to ask later on.

_It's now or never..._

"Why did you never come back to Winhill for Ellone? I mean... if you had, you could've found her and me both. Maybe... maybe me, you, Sis and Raine could've all been..." Squall couldn't finish his words and immediately felt bad as he watched the expression in Laguna's eyes fall and flash something that appeared to be regret.

_Ugh, what the hell am I doing? I can't stand it when he makes that expression... I hope he doesn't start crying again... What did I get myself into? Why did I ask him that? Crap..._

The young SeeD had to suppress the urge to bury his face in his palm at his own stupidity, so instead, he opted to incline his head and stare to the side, eyes fixated on the flowers laying against his mother's tombstone.

Laguna sniffed, sighing wearily and rose to his feet, dusting off his pants, folding his arms across his chest with a solemn expression, and much to Squall's relief, no trace of new tears.

"I'm not going to pretend for one minute that the choices I made were the right ones. Believe me, Squall, I regret the choices I made every day of my life. Being thrust into the position as President of an entire nation like Esthar. All of the damage from the Sorceress War, the politics and everything. It was overwhelming and I was overconfident! If I had even tried to sneak out of there, I feel like I would've been tracked down and dragged back."

Squall observed as his father reached down to rub at his leg.

_Don't tell me he's going to get a leg cramp now..._

"Hoo boy, what I wouldn't have given to go back to Winhill. After all, the hustle and bustle of Esthar and all its craziness, somewhere quiet like Winhill would've been great! If I had known I had a son waiting for me there with Elle, or that Raine was sick, I would've rushed back in a heartbeat, but those villagers. Heh. They hated me. I mean look at where we are now! The proof is in the custard!" he explained throwing his hands out in an exaggerated manner. Squall had to repress an amused snort.

_I think he meant the proof is in the pudding..._

The moment of humor, however, quickly passed. Laguna continued on. "They would never have told me if anything happened to Raine or if she was pregnant and gave birth to my baby. And they didn't. They really didn't. They wanted to keep me as far away from her as they could. You would've thought they could've at least treated her son better than they did me." Laguna hung his head a bit as he tucked his hands into his pants pockets.

"Couldn't you have brought Ellone back to Esthar with you?" Squall blurted out without really thinking, glancing up at his father's back through light brown strands of hair that hung in his eyes. He wasn't sure why all these questions kept popping up seemingly with no control of what was coming out of his mouth, and while it was sort of frustrating, Squall was glad. He wanted answers. No matter how he may have felt though, he found he couldn't hate Laguna. In fact, he found himself feeling even more guilty by asking all that he was.

"I s'pose I could've, but with the current state of what Esthar was after Adel's reign, it would've been too dangerous for Elle to be there, particularly with Dr. Odine around. He was dangerous to her. Elle was his big, bright, shiny new toy and he would've done anything to get his hands back on her again. No way in hell was I gonna let that happen! Elle is a human being and a proper lady. Not a subject for a science experiment! And even though Adel was gone and the war ended, there was still just too much danger for a cute little girl like her, especially with her abilities she's got." He paused for a moment and then turned around to face Squall, eyes closed and his face turned heavenward.

"When I heard the news of Raine's death, the villagers made sure I knew about it too and not in the nicest way, I was so filled with my own grief that I couldn't stand the thought of returning to Winhill. Too many painful memories were just too ripe, you know? I knew that Elle was safe, so long as she wasn't here and to hide all of my mourning and suffering, I buried myself into everything Esthar. Sure, I was overwhelmed by this new duty of being President, even though it sort of just fell in my lap, but still I just threw myself into it as best I could. Esthar was a dangerous country that had people on opposite sides and needed to be fixed and renewed, and so I did just that. I'm not saying what I did was right, but I did it and I can't take it back now."

Laguna opened his eyes and Squall rose to his feet. He met his son's gaze with an honest look in his expression, his voice almost sounding earnest.

"Squall, I swear. The villagers never told me I had a son there waiting for me. I had no idea Raine was even pregnant or had given birth, or was even sick til the villagers contacted me to let me know that Raine had died from an illness, and they sent Elle to live at Edea Kramer's orphanage. I knew that she'd be safer there and not in Esthar with me. That's why I never went back for her, but... had I known I had a son waiting,  _her_  son...,"

Laguna's voice broke slightly, breath catching in his throat. He shook his head, running a hand over his forehead. He swallowed thickly before continuing. "When Elle and I were safely reunited and we could actually talk, that's when she told me. I've wanted nothing more than to talk to you about this since. It's been making me crazy!"

Squall stood, watching Laguna for a moment before closing his eyes and folding his arms over his chest, turning his head and glancing down at the side.

"I know. I guess I can understand why you made the choices you did. We're kind of in the same position. A lot of responsibility laid on your shoulders without your say so. You had a duty to the affairs of Esthar as it's president, and you felt that Raine and Ellone were safer in Winhill than they would be in Esthar considering the country would still be at its odds and not entirely safe. People on your side or people on Adel's side could've turned out to be something dangerous for the both of them, so I get it," he stated, still unable to look his father in the eyes. "I guess, some part of me wishes things could've been different. Now that this is happening, well... This is just... this is all new to me," the young SeeD Commander admitted, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not really sure how to make this all work."

Laguna took a few steps toward Squall, reached his hands out and placed them on his shoulders, willing the young man to look at him.

"Squall, I understand. I know it's going to take time for you to fully open your heart to me as your dad, but I'm still your dad. I just want you to know that I'm here for you anytime you need me. I won't push you or make this go faster than you want it. I won't even force you to call me 'Dad' yet! We'll go at your race!" Laguna smiled and winked at him, while Squall held back a slight urge to chuckle.  _We'll go at my race, huh? Think he means at my pace..._

Squall nodded his head in acknowledgment.

"I appreciate that, but while this has been, okay and all, we've been out here for awhile and should probably head back to Garden. People are going to start wondering where we are and possibly come looking for us. I'd... rather they not."

Squall pointed toward the sky that was now beginning to fade into hues of various oranges and pinks, indicating sunset. Laguna nodded his head in acknowledgment and walked alongside his son with Squall feeling a bit of relief that he and his father might have actually started to come to an understanding on some things.

Squall listened quietly as Laguna chatted animatedly while the two reboarded Garden, walking down the long corridor of the entrance, only to find his friends waiting in the main hall of Balamb Garden near the fountains for him. His eye caught Rinoa's and she smiled warmly.

"Squall," she said his name loud enough for the tinkling sound of her voice to drift to his ears which put his heart at ease. She walked quickly to approach him. He had eyes for only her and soon Rinoa was in front of him, but her smile had changed to an expression of concern. She seemed to be studying his face, particularly his eyes very closely and then glanced toward Laguna doing the same before looking back at him.

 _Oh man... I hope I don't look awful or something._ Squall felt his heart stop for a moment.  _Oh jeez, Laguna... please please please don't say anything about what happened out there._

His thoughts were interrupted as a massive squeal resounded across the colossal main hall, echoing around them, and a yellow blur flew by.

"SIR LAGUNAAAAAAAAA!" Selphie was diving onto the President of Esthar, jumping up and throwing her small arms around his shoulders clinging tightly.

Laguna, who started chuckling and blushing, patted the small, dangling figure on her back. Everyone in Garden knew that Selphie harbored a massive crush on the President of Esthar. Squall could recall the first time Ellone had sent them back to the past, how Selphie gushed over how 'cute' Laguna was. Laguna put the tiny girl back on her feet still chuckling, while a scowling and obviously jealous Irvine stood at her side. Quistis, Zell, Selphie, and Irvine had gathered around and were now talking with the older man, exchanging greetings and thanks, and who revealed nothing of what had transpired out by Raine's grave, much to Squall's relief.

_He might be a bumbling idiot sometimes and say stuff that makes no sense, but who knows? Maybe having him as a dad might not be too bad. My friends seem to really like him. I'll just let them fawn over him for awhile._

Taking the moment to themselves, Squall took Rinoa by the hands and led her over to one of the benches to sit down. Rinoa gently placed her hand on Squall's face, fingers tracing what must have been left over tear tracks on his cheek.

"Are you alright, Squall? Is everything okay?" Squall couldn't help but flush warmly at Rinoa's words. She knew. She could see his eyes. They still felt somewhat puffy from his crying spell, and he probably looked in a bit of a state. If anyone else had noticed, they didn't say anything, but Rinoa never missed a beat.

He closed his eyes and leaned into Rinoa's warm touch, raising his own hand and placing it over top of hers, giving it a squeeze against his cheek. "You miss nothing do you?" Rinoa giggled and shook her head. "Honestly, Rinoa? I'm not sure. I'm doing as you said though. I'm going to try and see how it all goes."

"Now see? Is that really so bad? And was it so bad to just spend some time with your dad?" Rinoa questioned him gently. She studied him for a moment, before the corner of her mouth upturned in a mischievous grin. "Though, I'm dying to know. What all happened out there? Where did you two go? What did you talk about? What exactly happened?"

Squall clammed up, unsure of what to say. As much as he loved Rinoa, he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to tell her about anything that had just gone on. Sometimes some things were better left unsaid.

"Oh, c'mon Squall! You can't leave me hanging! You know I'm gonna bug the crap out of you till you tell me!" Rinoa quirked a brow and tapped him on the nose with her fingertip. "Because it couldn't have been absolutely nothing when you come walking back in here looking and sounding like you have a serious head cold."

Squall grimaced, fairly certain his entire face was as red as Galbadia Garden at this point with how hot it felt. Was she trying to embarrass him? Because it was certainly working.

"Hey, Squall!" came the warm, cheery and normal voice of Laguna, and for once in his life, Squall had to breathe a sigh of relief, grateful that cartoon-like character of a President interrupted the sorceress from her curiosity. "So, I have kind of a huge favor to ask you. I was sorta wondering if maybe you'd take me on a tour of Balamb Garden!? Please! I've never been in a Garden before til now, and I just want to take in as much as I can while I still can!"

Squall stared at his over-enthusiastic father for a moment, eyebrows raised.

_A tour? Now...? Man, he really is just like a giant child sometimes... with very childlike ways. It's crazy how he can go from being really serious one moment to a total goofball the next..._

In truth, all Squall wanted to do at this very moment was go up to his dorm room, crawl into his warm and inviting bed with Rinoa in his arms and sleep. He was exhausted. Exhausted from the stress of everything, exhausted from the pressure of his duties as Commander of SeeD and Director of Garden Operations, and he suspected that his emotional episode from earlier had proven to completely drain him of any residual energy he had left.

Squall sighed and reluctantly agreed, running a gloved hand down his face. "Alright fine, but we're going to make it a quick one. If you want to see things more in depth, have one of these guys go with you." He waved a hand absentmindedly toward his group of friends. "I need sleep." He ignored the jeers from his friends who were having fun teasing that the normally stoic and 'I'm fine' Squall finally admitted he was tired and needed rest. The SeeD Commander just rolled his eyes in annoyance.

The tour was over quickly, as the SeeD had stated it would be. He walked Laguna around and pointed to each area telling him exactly what was what, but refusing to go in each of the rooms. He didn't think his tired legs could take much more. He had ordered Zell to inform Nida that they would be heading back to Esthar in the morning and to set a course for FH at the break of dawn. "Roger!" the blond martial artist stated in salute as he hurried off to the bridge. Squall and Rinoa broke from the group turning to head back to the dorms. Zell disappeared around the corner heading toward the Library, and as they stood in front of the hall entryway to Balamb Garden's dormitory, he did not miss Selphie loudly questioning Laguna.

"Sir Laguna? Sorry if this is too forward, but why do you and Squall look like and sound like you got bad colds?"

If Squall could have melted into a puddle of embarrassment and humiliation right there, he would've. Laguna just chuckled and patted Selphie on the back.

"Oh you know, Squall takes after me. He's got pretty bad allergies when we get around lots of flowers and stuff. All that pollen! Winhill's full of 'em!" Squall also pretended to ignore Rinoa as she poked him in the side muttering with her elbow.

"I told you so," she murmured smugly. He rolled his eyes again and was grateful that within moments she was opening the door to his room.

He walked right toward his bed, not bothering to remove his jacket or his gloves, and was faceplanting into his pillow on his bed. He could fall asleep and put this entire day behind him, and within moments, Squall was out. He never even noticed Rinoa slipping off his gloves, his boots, and his jacket. He just mumbled and continue to sleep, tranquil and peacefully while Rinoa laid on her side stroking his hair, his features normally creased with stress or worry, finally relaxed.

* * *

The next day, Squall and his group of SeeDs stood quietly in Laguna's office at the Presidential Palace. They were back in Esthar, and listening to the President receive a very firm, long lecture about disappearing like that without telling anyone. Kiros, in particular, stood grilling him loudly in front of everyone, with Ward silent and furiously agreeing to every word Kiros said.

"Laguna, man, what were you thinking? Didn't you consider that taking off without telling anyone might interfere with the affairs and state of the country? What am I supposed to say when people start questioning why the President went missing? As soon as rumor breaks out that the President of Esthar disappeared without a trace, you realize what that could end up doing? Didn't you think about your responsibilities here before you went running off to Balamb Garden without telling anyone."

Laguna just rolled his eyes and sighed. "Are you done? Jeez, what are you, my father?" Kiros remained silent but firm, his slender arms crossed over his chest as the two former war buddies turned Esthar government stared each other down. Squall and the others remained silent, letting the two hash it out. "Listen, I know Kiros. I know all about how important Esthar is blah blah blah," the older man began. He raised a hand to run it through his silver-streaked, dark hair and glanced over at Squall.

"But sometimes there are other duties that are more important than these ones, you know? It's not like I left Esthar in shambles or anything! And it certainly didn't fall to pieces for being gone for just a couple of days! I have a son now. Father duties sometimes have to come first." Laguna added, raising a finger in the air emphasize his point. Squall just felt himself slowly turning red, his face flushing warm and remained tight-lipped. He still wasn't so sure he was ready to embrace this whole father/son thing like Laguna was.

Kiros just shook his head, dark braids swinging. "Man, Laguna, one minute you change too much and then the next minute it's like you never changed. It's like back when we fought in the Galbadian Army. You took us back home to Deling City instead of going back to Timber like we were ordered to and got us in more trouble than most soldiers. Other 'duties' came first back then too. I seem to remember a certain piano lady."

"Ahhhh that's enough!" Laguna began wildly waving his hands. "That was a long time ago anyway, so let's just not bring that up, okay? Okay!"

Across the room, Squall had had enough of their bickering and he walked forward clearing his throat.

"This is all good and fine and all, but we need to attend to the matters at hand. You hired SeeD to help with the monster extermination surrounding Esthar, didn't you? Well?" he narrowed his light blue eyes toward Kiros and Ward, while Laguna stood to the side mouthing a silent 'thank you!' to Squall, to which he acknowledged.

Squall's friends' eyes were all widened in surprise. They never thought they'd see the day where Squall would discreetly defend his Dad like that.

"At least your son isn't like you and has his priorities in the right order," muttered Kiros, leaning into Ward, to which Ward nodded his head and waved his hands, indicating he agreed. "Ward says he's glad that we at least have one level-headed person in here."

Once again, the SeeD Commander ignored Kiros' criticism of Laguna, and continued on. "Didn't I overhear that General Caraway with some of his Galbadian Army is here to help assist Esthar's monster extermination and cleanup?"

Kiros nodded his head and turned toward Squall. "Yeah, you heard right. And after all the crap Galbadia has put this world through in terms of the sorceress and all the casualties, it's the least they could do."

Squall waved a gloved hand dismissively. "That's beside the point." He turned toward Rinoa. "Your father is here helping to assist in the restoration of Esthar. I think that maybe you might want to go visit him. It's the perfect opportunity to settle things and move on."

Rinoa glared at him, her arms folded across her chest. "We'll discuss this after the meeting." Squall just shook his head and turned back toward the rest.

"If I may," Quistis piped up. "There are other matters that still need attending to. Such as Ragnarok and Lunatic Pandora. It's still stuck hovering over Tears' Point and Ragnarok is still buried in the side of it. Perhaps we should figure out exactly what to do about that? Ragnarok can come in handy for SeeD travels," she pointed out and Squall nodded, thoughtfully in agreement.

Irvine tipped his hat. "Good point, Quistis. Lunar Gate is also still destroyed and in need of repairing and the Esthar Airstation is still offline. All of the traveling lifts still aren't entirely operational yet. What do you propose we do about that?"

Squall and Laguna exchanged glances before the SeeD Commander nodded his head.

"These are Esthar matters, and SeeD was only hired for the monster extermination." He ignored the gasps and his friends about to open their mouths in protest but continued. "However, since we're already here, I guess I see no reason why we couldn't split up and handle each task individually as best we can." Squall rubbed his chin for a moment. "Kiros and Ward, do you think it would be too much trouble if you could accompany and assist Quistis and Zell to the Lunar Gate? There, you can make plans to work on repairing the Lunar Gate."

"Man, taking orders from the President's son now, huh?" Kiros eyed the young SeeD in front of him. Squall just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

_Who said I was giving orders to anyone asides from my own team? I merely asked if they could assist. This is why I sometimes hate being a leader..._

"Whatever..." Squall mumbled, staring at his shoes.

Laguna, seemingly catching on to his son's silent distress, gave Kiros a look. "Kiros, please. I get you're pissy with me, but don't take it out on Squall. He's not giving you orders. He just simply asking for your help and that's what we do. We help people, especially when something like this directly involves the state of our country, right?" The President looked toward Squall with a wink.

Kiros sighed and waved his hands. "Fine, fine. Yeah. We'll go with them. No problem. Just make sure Laguna doesn't get himself into any trouble. If we're not there making sure he stays out of trouble, he usually manages to find it."

Squall just ignored the man and turned toward Selphie and Irvine. "And you guys, why don't you head to Tears' Point and see about the removal or Ragnarok from Lunatic Pandora, and maybe also see if Lunatic Pandora can be relocated from Tears' Point as well?"

Selphie thrust an excited fist into the air. "Woohoo! We can blow it to smithereens!" Squall just shook his head and Irvine chuckled.

"What can we say? This girl loves blowing stuff up."

Laguna laughed at the two. "Well, if you decide to blow up the Lunatic Pandora, just make sure Ragnarok is out, and Pandora is relocated and somewhere like the middle of the ocena or something where nobody can get hurt, eh? Blowing it up might be a good idea, considering how dangerous Pandora is. You might be onto something, Selphie!" He shook his head, chuckling over Selphie's antics, his eyes crinkled at the corners from his smiling. "I'll send a couple of my other advisors along with you so you don't have to go alone. How 'bout that?" Selphie and Irvine both nodded in agreement as the group turned and began walking out of the office.

"So then, in a day or so we'll just plan to meet back here and discuss plans?" Squall questioned his group and they all agreed with each other before saying their goodbyes for now. As they parted ways with words of staying safe and that they would see each other soon, and Laguna off with Kiros and Ward, Squall pulled Rinoa off to the side.

"Listen, your dad is here, and I think now would be the best time as any to go visit him, make amends with your own father. If I'm going to be forced into a parent/child relationship with a doofus like Laguna, then it won't kill you to try and do the same with Caraway, would it?"

Rinoa sighed. "Alright, alright. You win. It'd make me a hypocrite if I didn't go and at least see him after trying to help bring you and your father together. But, after we help Laguna with some of the monster exterminations. I can tell you're itching to get on the battlefield, and no way am I letting you go alone."

Squall just sighed and put his arm around Rinoa, pulling her to his side and giving her a kiss on her temple. "You really do know me, don't you?" Rinoa closed her eyes with a smile as Squall's lips met her head and she chuckled.

"Better than anyone." Squall dropped his arm and shook his head with a smirk.

"Fine. You can come. Just stay close to me."

Laguna began walking toward Squall and Rinoa as Kiros, Ward, Quistis, and Zell all piled into a car that would take them to Lunar Gate and clapped his hands together at the both of them, rubbing them together excitedly.

"Well? Shall we get out there and do some monster huntin'!?" Squall's eyes widened at the President.

_He can't be serious... how many years has it been since he even fought a battle? He's gotta be rusty as hell... so not only am I going to have to try and protect Rinoa while fighting but him too?_

"I know, I know. I can see what you're thinking. You're probably wondering how an old man like me could be out there on the frontlines fighting monsters, right? I may be a bit out of practice, but I didn't forget how to fire my weapon! They didn't call me The Man With the Machine Gun for no reason, ya know!"

Squall groaned as Laguna disappeared to go gather his weapon and looked at Rinoa, brows creasing his forehead.  _I have a bad feeling about this..._ He wasn't too far off either.

* * *

A few hours later, Squall, Laguna, and Rinoa were all out in the field, fighting monsters alongside a mix of both the Galbadian and Estharian armies. It was odd to him, seeing both nations allied and fighting a massive invasion of moon monsters, the aftermath of the Lunar Cry, but if it weren't for them, these monsters would be back to invading the city, and they were fighting and keeping them at bay. Squall never realized just how many had landed to earth from the moon like that.

He had to admit though, it felt good being out there, blowing off some steam, the gunblade specialist slicing through foes one by one, Rinoa fighting at his side with her new sorceress powers, his father on his other side. He almost forgot entirely about his newfound family issues. He was so engrossed with fighting a rather large alien, that Squall never realized that Rinoa was being bombarded until he heard her screaming.

"SQUALL!" her voice cried out as she crouched down, attempting to cast a Protect spell, but the monster was just too quick. Rinoa, no! "NOT ME! IT'S LAGUNA!" He whirled around, his eyes widened at the scene before him.

Squall never felt nor heard the scream of terror and fury rip out of his throat, as a large, deformed monster had launched itself onto Laguna, twelve inch long claws, tearing into the president's upper torso, too near his chest, his heart. Squall finished off the beast he had been fighting in flash of white-hot rage as he summoned a GF.

"GRIEVER! HURRY!" he cried out, and the familiar Guardian Force, the most power GF he'd once fought in Ultimecia's castle appeared before him. Squall pointed toward Rinoa who's body had been flung in the air. "GET RINOA! KEEP HER SAFE!" The GF obliged, it's lion-like form took a massive leap, and caught the blue-clad sorceress with one giant paw, while using the other to finish off the alien that had almost gotten her.

Squall raced toward his father, Laguna's anguished screams and firing of his gun resounding and pounding through Squall's ears. He took a massive leap from behind the monster and slashed his gunblade through the alien's back, but it wasn't enough to stay the beast. It raised it's head, screeching furiously and flung Laguna who skidded across the ground, hitting a boulder, and lay still. Squall took another running jump, landing hard on top of the writhing enemy, it's claws covered with his father's blood. It grasped onto Squall's leg howling with rage and pain.

Squall ignored the claws now digging into the flesh of his own leg, and with a furious warcry, he ran the creature through with his gunblade, impaling it from front to back, unleashing a fire spell through the weapon's blade. With a wild roar of pain, the monster let go and keeled over to the side, a guttural breath rolling out of its throat as Squall pulled the gunblade out of the dead creature's body. Sweat was pouring down his brow. He could feel the blood from his own injuries soaking through his pant leg.

The SeeD Commander whirled his head around in search of Laguna and Rinoa, the sweat dripping down the sides of his face, into his eyes, burning them, but he ignored it. He scanned the aftermath of the battle, blue eyes widened, and his lips parted slightly as he stood panting taking in the gory scenery that lay before him. There Laguna lay at the base of the boulder, his button down, blue shirt ripped to shreds from the gashes of the monster's claws, blood splattered on the dog tag necklace hanging around his neck, and right below his chest, down into his stomach, four long, deep gashes gushing with obvious, deep tissue damage exposed and blood roiling out of the wounds could clearly be seen. He also spied Griever still on the field, still protecting Rinoa, who was now stirring awake in the GF's arms.

Satisfied that Griever would keep her safe, Squall ignored the throbbing pain in his own leg and hurried to his father's side. His gunblade clattered to the ground as Squall dropped to his knees next to his father.

"S-Squall?" Laguna choked out looking up at his son.

Laguna placed his hands on both sides of the ground to push himself up. Squall could see he was trying hard to get up and refocus himself, but the wounds were too dire and the blood loss was becoming heavier. The President attempted to smile before he let out a sputtering cough spraying blood, and blood began trickling down the sides of his mouth. With a groan, Laguna began to collapse. Squall's arms instantly went outward, thinking of nothing but Laguna's current state, catching him before his wounded father could hit the ground again.

The young SeeD Commander's whole entire body began to shake and tremble with anxiety and rage.

"You idiot," Squall gnashed his teeth, clenching his jaw as he maneuvered his father's body to a more comfortable position. He glanced back at Griever who was now making his way toward Squall and the President, a dazed Rinoa still waking up in his hold. "You complete and utter idiot. The hell were you thinking? Coming out into the field like this? You knew you weren't even close to ready to fight something like this."

Squall's bottom lip trembled and he clenched his jaw as he watched more blood gushed out of Laguna's open wounds each time Laguna coughed or took a breath.

"Squall. 'm sorry... Just... wanted to help you...," his eyes were becoming unfocused and Squall positioned Laguna more comfortably against his hold. He pressed a hand against Laguna's wounds, trying to stem the flow of blood. He began tapping the side of his father's face in hopes it'd keep him awake and alert.

"What the hell were you thinking!? You really are some kind of moron, aren't you?" Squall found himself snapping, but his heart dropped to his stomach when Laguna's eyes fluttered shut. "Laguna? NO! You gotta stay with me. Stay awake, c'mon now. We gotta stop the bleeding. We gotta do something, we...," a hard lump was caught in the back of Squall's throat as he slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around his father's body, tying the sleeves tight to try and apply as much pressure to the wounds as he could get.

He swallowed hard as his vision became increasingly unfocused and distorted while he worked. Squall tried to ignore the tingling and burning in his nose as he sniffled. The Commander could feel the massive presence of Griever at his side and could see soldiers on the battlefield still fighting.

"Someone! Anyone! I need help! Please! Laguna needs help! PLEASE! ANYONE! HELP US!" he cried out, not even caring at this point how desperate he sounded. He just knew they had to get Laguna back to Esthar and to the hospital as soon as possible.

Squall froze as he felt fingers touch the side of his face, and his eyes went round. He noticed that Laguna's bloody hand on was his face, a strange look in the older man's glassy eyes.

"Just... like her... you have... her eyes... and... just so sorry, Squall. Sorry I couldn't be there for you, for Raine... So sorry..."

The man's hand dropped to his side, the smile disappearing, blood sliding down the sides of his mouth, eyes rolling back as his entire body went limp in Squall's arms. The only thing left from Laguna's touch was three streaks of blood smeared across Squall's face.


	9. A Matter Of Survival

**Chapter 9- A Matter Of Survival**

 

Squall sat in shock. The battlefield smoldered. Dust and smoke rising from the rocky terrain, the remains of gun blasts and weaponry from the fight. Soldiers' voices could be heard in the distance yelling out orders. Figures could be barely seen through a haze that seemingly settled like a fog. Laguna's shoulders were cradled in Squall's arms, his body splayed out, his head laying limply back to rest in the crook of Squall's elbow. There was no movement from him; no sign of life in him. Blood was steadily dripping down the sides of his mouth. Squall's eyes darted down to the unconscious man in his lap.

"No... no, Laguna. C'mon. You can't do that. You gotta wake up. You gotta stay with me," Squall ignored the desperation that had lilted in his voice. His grip on Laguna tightened, even more, fingers leaving indentations into his father's arms.

_This is all my goddamn fault. I never NEVER should have let him come along with us. I never should've let him fight. I should've forced him to stay behind. I knew I had a bad feeling about this, and if he dies..._

"Rinoa?" Squall tried to find his voice as Griever lay Rinoa's figure next to Squall. The GF never moved. He just hovered protectively over the three, golden eyes scanning the battlefield in case anything tried to attack while they were all vulnerable and susceptible to attack.

"Rinoa, you've got to wake up... I-I," Squall's voice caught in his throat.

_I need you... Right now. I need you more than anything. I need your help. So, please. Please wake up. Don't you fade out on me too... Ugh stop acting like a pansy and focus!_

Coming to his senses, Squall gathered up energy in the palm of his hand and cast a Curaga spell over Laguna's limp form. Members of the Galbadian and Estharian Army called out to Squall that they were sending for help to the field medics, but the SeeD barely registered this. He was too focused on trying to preserve his father's life, at least until they could get back to Esthar and get Laguna safely into a hospital.

The President tipped his head back, taking a heavy gasp in Squall's arms, his breathing returning very shallow and coarse. Squall swiped his forearm over his face, brushing back the burning sweat that was lacing his forehead and stinging his eyes. He didn't take his eyes off Laguna as he waited with bated breath. Next to him, Rinoa groaned, slowly regaining consciousness, and he reached out a hand to grab her arm and tug her closer, one arm around his father and his other holding her close. He felt so pathetic and helpless, on his knees in a battlefield with his seriously injured father and his girlfriend hurt and barely conscious.

Laguna was on the verge of death and Rinoa was definitely injured, though he wasn't sure where. At least she wasn't bleeding.

_God, somebody please help us..._

The SeeD Commander swallowed thickly against the lump attempting to form in his throat again, when Laguna let out a hard cough, spattering a bit of blood on Squall's white shirt, but he did not care.

"Laguna!? C'mon. You gotta wake up. You have to stay with me here. You can't leave me. Not now." Squall hesitated for a moment, his desperation finally getting the better of him. " _Please_ , Dad."

Laguna's breathing sputtered for a moment before his eyes flickered open, and Squall felt his heart jump into his throat as emerald green met ice blue.

"Squall. Hey son," Laguna's voice croaked out and Squall found he couldn't speak any words. He just tightened the grip of his fingers on Laguna's shoulder. "You alright? You're not hurt are you?"

Squall let out a very short, humorless laugh, incredulous that his father was lying here bleeding to death and he was too busy wondering if Squall was hurt. "Leave it to you to worry about me while you're like this. You're such a moron."

"Yeah, I guess I probably am," Laguna tried to laugh and then winced from the pain and groaned loudly. "Really am sorry bout this. I never realized it, how alike you and Raine are," he mumbled, eyes at half-mast. "Amazing really. Just like her. So glad I got to meet you. Just wanted you to know that, Squall... my son," the President mumbled. His words were slurring together, his eyes beginning to flutter close once again.

"What? What are you talking about? C'mon, Laguna. You have to stay awake. Keep telling me about Raine. About my mom. What is it about us that's alike? Keep talking to me. Don't fade out on me. Dammit! Laguna! DAD!"

Squall tapped Laguna's face again, but once more, he had fallen unconscious and his skin was turning a very pasty, almost ghostly shade. It was terrifying him. "Fuck! Where the hell are the goddamn medics!"

Laguna's breaths were becoming more shallow and uneven by the moment, and at some points, it sounded like his breathing stopped. Squall felt like he had been sitting there and waiting for an eternity when he heard the loud clatter of armor from soldiers running as fast as possible approaching them.

They were carrying numerous first aid kids, like suitcases swinging in their hands. Squall felt a hand grasp his arm, and he looked up into the face of a Galbadian Medic.

"Son, we need you to let go of him now. We got him. Can you tell us what happened?"

His voice was loud, somewhat harsh. Another Medic, an Estharian Medic, was crouched down in front of Laguna, removing Squall's bloodied leather jacket and replacing it with fresh gauze and bandages. Laguna had once again lost consciousness, and it almost seemed as if he weren't even there. He never reacted to the pressure of the bandages being wrapped around deep, fresh, oozing wounds.

"Son? I need you to snap out of it. Can you remember what happened to the President?"

Squall shook his head, ran a hand down his face and took a breath. Surprisingly his tone was steady.

"We were fighting monsters along with the army. Laguna insisted on being out on the frontlines with the soldiers, myself and Rinoa," he made a hand gesture to the girl at his side where another Medic had now approached her and was checking her over for injuries. "When we were fighting some of the moon monsters, Rinoa got attacked, and I summoned a GF to protect her. The next thing I knew, Laguna was... jumping out in front of me to protect me from being attacked while I was distracted by another one, and...," Squall's throat closed up and he couldn't bring himself to say anything more.

He just waved a hand at Laguna, indicating that this was what happened next. One of the Estharian Medics nearby patted the distraught SeeD on his shoulder and nodded his head in understanding.

_At least he's a bit nicer than that asshole of a Galbadian Medic. Must be a Galbadian thing. They're all jerks._

"It's alright, son."

_Can they just stop calling me son? I'm not their son..._

"We have emergency transport waiting over there. I'll gather your belongings and put them in the back of the vehicle. We just need to get the President in, and Rinoa here is it? Rinoa the Sorceress, correct?"

Squall flinched at those words but didn't respond, just nodded his head.

"We'll carry them over and get you all back to Esthar's top medical facility. Don't worry, son. You're in good hands"

"Can you stop calling me son?" Squall snapped. The only person allowed to call him 'son' was Laguna and nobody else as far as he was concerned.

The Galbadian Medic was the one to speak up.

"Do you have a name then? Maybe you can tell me who you are so we can report everything that happened. The Esthar government and medical specialists will have questions," the Medic explained.

Squall noted that the man was not trying to be unkind. In fact, he was being professional and doing his job. He just wished at this point in time, the Medic could've been a bit more compassionate about the entire situation.

_Of course, I have a name... what kind of stupid question is that?_

"Squall. My name is Squall Leonhart," he answered while the Medics finished their work.

"Oh, Squall Leonhart? You're the Commander of SeeD, aren't you?" Squall didn't like the way the Medic appeared to be scrutinizing him. "Maybe you'll be able to better answer to the President's doctors and surgeons just how the Commander of SeeD allowed the President of Esthar to get so severely injured then."

Squall blanched at this words, his eyes widening at the Medic who's tone turned somewhat condescending at this point.

_What the hell is this guy's problem? I LET Laguna get hurt? No, I didn't, I just... I don't know. Maybe I did. I-I ... It's not like I asked for this. I didn't want this to happen..._

Squall's face then went blank, he masked his emotions entirely.

"Things like this happen when you're fighting on the frontlines. Laguna is formerly a soldier, so he knew the risks. I didn't give Laguna any orders to the contrary. He chose to fight. It's not my job to tell the President of Esthar what to do in regards to his own country. My orders were to come and help assist in the monster extermination and nothing more," the SeeD stated indifferently, but he made sure equal coldness was dripping from his tone as he responded to the soldier's criticisms. Squall did his best to act like a professional SeeD in this instance since the Galbadian Medic insisted on judging a situation that he wasn't there to witness, but everything inside of his was screaming the complete opposite.

"So, you're blaming the President for getting himself hurt, when you're the Commander of the great mercenaries known as SeeD and defeated the sorceress, and yet you couldn't even keep the President out of harm's way?"

_What the actual hell is this guy's problem with me? He's had a shitty attitude ever since he arrived on the scene._

Squall just sighed and threw his hands up in the air. He had no energy nor desire to argue or even defend himself, and maybe it's because the Medic was right. It was his fault. He deserved to be berated. So he just remained silent as the Galbadian Medic chastized him.

"..."

"Accidents happen. Lay off of him," an Estharian Medic scolded the Galbadian Medic as he gathered up Rinoa in his arms. "We need to get these two to a hospital. They both need looking at. The President has lost a lot of blood and appears to have broken ribs along with his flesh wounds, so there's concern that his ribs may have punctured his lungs. The girl appears to have hit her head pretty hard. She may be concussed."

The other Medic just shook his head and went to grab Laguna, but Squall found himself shoving him out of the way as molten anger rolled through him. This guy was beginning to seriously piss him off with his condescending attitude, and he would be damned if he let the bastard even so much as touch as his father.

"Don't touch him," Squall hissed. "I'll take him."

The Commander crouched down and gathered his father's broken, unconscious form into his arms as he began following the Medic carrying Rinoa toward the emergency medical vehicle waiting about 100 feet away, taking care not to jostle Laguna around too much for fear of his father losing even more blood faster than he already was. The new bandages were already entirely soaked through in a vivid red.

As they began making their way toward the awaiting vehicle, Squall heard Rinoa's voice moan and then grumble out in slight alarm.

"Hey... What the...? Let go of me! Where's Squall? Where's Laguna? Put me DOWN! I'm FINE!" She insisted.

Squall listened to the Medic argue with Rinoa briefly before a loud 'OOOF!' resounded. Given the circumstances, Squall had to force himself not to laugh.

Rinoa had given the Medic carrying her a good left hook to make him let go, and he watched her drop to her feet, stand up, dust herself off, and come running toward him, and the sounds of her footsteps patting across the ground, and a green glow of the familiar Curaga spell surrounded her. At least she was smart enough to heal herself.

"Squall!" her voice called and he stopped to allow Rinoa to reach him. Both of her hands went up and over her mouth, her dark eyes beginning to glisten with tears. "Wha-what happened to him? Are you alright? Is he alright? Did the... did that monster attack him?" Rinoa's voice dropped to a fearful whisper.

Squall nodded his head in confirmation, closing his eyes against that horrible, familiar burning sensation, his expression looking very grim, and Rinoa placed her hand over his arm in understanding as they began walking again toward the vehicle. Squall cleared his throat. "Yeah... doesn't matter... I'm fine. Are you alright at least? You were unconscious for a while."

"It's just a little lump on the head," Rinoa assured him, running her small hand over the back of her head. "I'm honestly just fine. Nothing I can't handle. Let's get you and Laguna back to Esthar. You're injured too, Squall. Your leg is bleeding pretty bad."

Through all of the chaos of Laguna getting hurt and the adrenaline rushing through him, Squall didn't even take notice of the injuries in his leg as they finally approached the emergency vehicle. He'd worry about them later. Right now, Laguna's wellbeing was more important. A soldier opened up the back door for them and Rinoa slipped inside, followed by Squall who seated himself next to the sorceress, Laguna's head nestled in his lap and his bloodied, bandaged body stretched out across the bench-like seat. Rinoa rubbed Squall's shoulder tenderly. The weight of everything that happened just so fast and out of nowhere seemed to settle over him like a dark cloud and his body slumped under the pressure.

"He's going to be alright, Squall. Esthar has the topmost medical staff that you can possibly find in the entire nation. Their technology far surpasses anything else on the continent. He'll be in good hands."

Squall opened his mouth to speak, but instead, a hitch of his breath escaped, and he couldn't find his voice. He felt a heavy ache in the middle of his chest, an almost overwhelming, expanding pressure that he couldn't understand. It was something that he hadn't felt in a very long time. Not since the day Sis left when he was only 4 years old, and Squall did not resist the urge to bury his face in his hands. He did just that, clamping his fingers hard against burning eyes that had welled up with unshed tears. He did not want to do this again, and he did not understand why he was becoming so emotional all of a sudden. He had to keep it together.

He pressed his face harder into his hands, willing himself not to give in, his body leaning slightly forward before he felt Rinoa snake an arm over his shoulders and pull him toward her. His face still hidden by his hands, he allowed the side of his head to rest comfortably against her shoulder as he attempted to control his breathing. "Hey, it's okay, Squall. It's okay. I'm here. If you want to talk, or just want to sit. Whatever you want, I'm here and I won't leave your side. Everything is going to be alright. I promise."

_Calm down. Calm down. Breathe. Pull yourself together. Ugh... I can't let Rinoa see me like this. When the hell did I become so weak and pathetic?_

There was honestly a lot that he wanted to say at this very moment to Rinoa, but he feared that if he did, he would end up completely breaking down, and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. Rinoa's fingers began threading through his hair, stroking his locks gently in an attempt to soothe him as the emergency medical vehicle transported them back to Esthar.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Squall sat hunched over in the waiting room of the Esthar Memorial Hospital and Medical Facility, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together. Rinoa was at his side, her head pressing against the side of one of his legs. She lay curled up in a fetal position on the couch-like bench sound asleep. She had suffered a brain contusion, but luckily no concussion, so she was allowed to sleep if she was tired without any danger. Squall's leg was treated, stitched up and freshly wrapped with clean bandages. Kiros and Ward had come to the hospital earlier upon Laguna's admittance.

They had heard the news over Esthar's radio's airwaves that the President had been fatally injured and had rushed straight to the hospital to handle Laguna's medical responsibilities since the President was currently comatose and unable to do it himself. They were kind enough to bring Squall a change of clothes since they had heard the SeeD Commander had also been injured in battle. He was now dressed in a fresh white t-shirt and jeans. His signature leather bomber jacket had been taken to get cleaned up from Laguna's blood.

The Commander was lost in his thoughts as he heard a couple sets of footsteps approaching him. He glanced up to see Kiros and Ward standing next to him, and the dark-skinned man reached a hand down to place it gingerly on Squall's shoulder.

"H-how is he?" Squall managed to croak out, his voice strained from stress and exhaustion.

"..."

"Yeah, what Ward said," Kiros sighed, shaking his head and seating himself in a chair next to Squall. "There's not much change. They have him hooked up to IVs and one is currently giving him a blood transfusion, while another is giving him antibiotics and fluids just in case there's any sort of infection developing in his wounds. He lost a lot of blood which is why he lost consciousness. He hasn't woken up, and they've put him into an induced coma. He's still in the trauma unit in critical condition, and they have him on a ventilator to help him breathe. We don't really know what's going to happen. The doctors are waiting to meet with his surgeon, which should be now." Kiros glanced at his watch. "They're going to run some further tests once he's more stabilized to make for certain his broken ribs didn't splinter or puncture his lungs. If they did, it's likely he'll have to have surgical repair done."

At this point, Rinoa had stirred awake and was sitting up next to Squall, listening intently to Kiros explaining Laguna's current condition.

"Do the doctors know if he's going to be alright? What are his chances he'll recover from this?" the sorceress questioned, lacing her fingers together nervously.

"..."

"Yeah, it's too early to tell," Kiros dropped his face into his hands and scrubbed at his forehead. "Right now, all we can do is wait. He's in good hands. We've got to head back to the Presidential Palace. They're expecting a full report on Laguna's case and current condition. The news stations are going wild, and we don't want any stories twisted. We don't want them making anyone look bad or at fault." Kiros stood up and glanced down at Squall and Rinoa. "You two can manage things til we get back in a couple of hours. Squall, you should know that it's been made known to the medical staff that you're Laguna's son. You've been given permission to handle any confidential medical information in regards to Laguna."

Squall just nodded his head, and Kiros puffed up his cheeks, letting out a stressed-sounding breath.

"We'll be going now. We'll be back in just a while." Kiros paused before following Ward out and glanced back at the young Commander of SeeD. "Squall, I know what you're thinking, man. Don't. What happened to Laguna wasn't your fault. That's all I'm gonna say." Kiros and Ward disappeared from the room, and Squall hung his head.

_Yes, it was... because of him insisting on coming out there with me, and letting him... I could've put a stop to it..._

Shortly after Kiros and Ward's departure, Squall heard the door to waiting room open again and in walked a middle-aged man with short, dark hair slicked back. A pair of glasses sat perched on his nose. He wore a long, white lab coat and carried a clipboard and pen. Squall glanced at the man as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Are you the son of President Laguna Loire, Squall Leonhart?" Squall nodded his head and stood up to face the man who gave him a smile and extended his hand. Squall briefly shook it. "I'm Dr. Kandra. I'm overseeing the treatment and medical care of your father, President Laguna Loire." His eyes slid over to look at Rinoa. "I apologize for this, but might we be able to speak confidentially? It is concerning your father's condition."

Squall began to open his mouth in protest, not liking the idea of Rinoa leaving the room, when Rinoa rose to her feet, nodding her head and placed a hand on Squall's shoulder giving it a squeeze.

"It's okay, Squall. I understand. I'll be right outside. I won't go far."

He really did not want to be left alone with the doctor discussing his father's current medical state. More than anything he needed Rinoa here to help keep his composure because he wasn't sure if the news the doctor was about to relay to him would crack it or not. His eyes followed the blue of Rinoa's duster before she disappeared behind the waiting room door.

"That's quite a lady you have there," the doctor mused pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and he looked down at his clipboard, flipping through the pages. "Mr. Leonhart, in terms of your father, the President, his condition is currently very critical. President Loire has suffered massive blood loss, severe trauma to his torso due to the nature of the attack. Some of his organs were badly damaged. We didn't realize just how deep the claws of the thing that attacked him went, but had they went any deeper, he wouldn't be here right now."

Squall's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in understanding. "He's suffering internal bleeding, broken ribs on his left side, and his left lung is punctured. There is also a risk of infection, so we have him started on some very strong antibiotics, but they are not always guaranteed to work. We will just have to monitor it."

"What does all of this mean?" Squall managed to get out without sounding too distraught, but this news was almost too much. He didn't realize how extensive the damage to Laguna's body had been or the seriousness of his injuries. His legs were starting to feel weak underneath him, and Squall had to force himself to stay upright while in the doctor's presence.

"Well, where the rib splintered and punctured his lung, there is a lining of tissues that is slowly filling up with air. This will all need surgical repair. He is currently in the operating room with the best surgeons in the nation undergoing an emergency surgery. They will be cauterizing and repairing the organs that were damaged from the attack to try and stop the bleeding, and he will have to have a chest tube surgically inserted to help drain the trapped air in the lining of his lung tissues, and they will remove any pieces of bone that may have splintered from his broken ribs."

The doctor sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before reaching out to place a hand on Squall's shoulder. What was with people putting their hand on his shoulder? Did he look as bad as he felt?

"Mr. Leonhart, I am not one for sugarcoating things, so I'm going to be very honest with you. As of right now, things do not look good for President Loire. His chances are very slim, but we are hoping with our top surgeons, the best medical staff in the nation and top of the line medical care we can possibly offer, we may be able to help him pull through. I just want you to understand the seriousness of his condition. While he may improve, there is always a chance he won't as well. The first 48 hours are going to be his most critical  _if_  he makes it through those first 48 hours. I'm truly sorry to have to be the one to give you this news, but I'd rather you know the truth than being told something else and given false hope only to have the worst happen."

The doctor bowed out of the room and left Squall standing alone. When he was certain the doctor was gone, Squall slowly backed up until he felt his back hit against the wall, and the strength in his legs left him entirely. Squall slowly slid down the wall until he landed on the floor, his face blank and his mind whirling. His breathing started to become heavier as he tried to control the anvil of weight that seemed to crush him, keeping him held fast to the floor. Gravity took hold and he wasn't moving. His hands lay limply on either side of his legs, fingers splayed against the carpet. His head was tipped back against the wall with his chin tilted toward the ceiling. He didn't hear Rinoa come back into the waiting room til she dropped to her knees at his side.

"Squall...?" her voice spoke his name softly. He felt her fingertips gently brush away strands of his hair out of his eyes.

"It's all my fault," he managed to croak out. "It's all my goddamn fault, Rinoa. What the hell was I thinking letting this damned moron of a President out onto the battlefield with us? I should've listened to my gut. I should've forced him to stay behind. I knew he wasn't even close to battle ready, and yet I still let him come along. I let him fight like that when the stupid old man probably hadn't fought a proper battle in years. If I would've just told the bumbling oaf to stay behind, none of this would be happening!" his voice was beginning to quiver. "How the  _hell_  could I have been such an idiot?"

_Oh my god I'm so tired of this... I can't deal with feeling this way. I don't know how to handle this. I don't think I can. It's too much. It's just too damn much._

"Squall. You have got to calm down. Calm down and pay attention to me." Rinoa placed both of her hands on Squall's cheeks, forcing the SeeD Commander to look at her, her chocolate eyes locking hard with his ice blue ones. "Squall, Laguna is a grown man who can make his own choices, and he's just as stubborn as you are. Even if you had tried to force him to stay behind, you know he wouldn't have, so NONE of this is your fault! I honestly think that he just wanted to be by your side on the battlefield, fighting alongside his son, and helping protect his country from those monsters. I think it was just Laguna's way of wanting to spend more time with you."

Squall snorted derisively at her words and pushed her hands off his face. "Spend more time with me? What, so he can just go out and get himself killed?" Squall drew in a shaky breath as Rinoa leaned back and Squall turned his head so he didn't have to face her. "This is why I never wanted to get close to him. This is why I never wanted to try and build a father and son relationship with him. This is why I never wanted to accept Laguna as my father. Because of this."

Squall tried to control himself, but there was no stopping him now. The words just came spilling out. And it's not like it was a terrible thing. It was just him and Rinoa in here. Nobody else. Rinoa was that one person in the world who knew him better than anyone, and the one person he could trust with everything. This is what she wanted. She wanted him to open up, and it was like he was a freight train with no brakes. It came pouring out.

"I wanted to push him away. I wanted to keep him at arm's length. I never wanted to let him in. Even knowing he was my father, it was easier to just be ignorant of it. If he had never shown up at Garden, I would've been fine leaving things the way they were."

"Squall, really?" Rinoa interjected, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Would you really have been fine with that? Because I saw how all of this was getting to you. How the news of him being confirmed as your dad affected you. You were a complete wreck over it, and I think a part of you still is, especially now that Laguna is in the condition he's in." She leaned toward him, placing a hand gently over his bare forearm. "I don't believe for one minute that you wanted to keep him at arm's length. If you did, you could've just sent him back to Esthar and never bothered to meet with him and go to Winhill with him, and then travel back here with him."

Squall rested his head back against the wall, staring upward at the ceiling and brought a hand up to run through his hair.

"Really? So every single one of you guys who kept pushing me and encouraging me to get close to him was the right thing? You, Ellone and everyone insisted on it, and because of that, I did. Dammit. I did, and now that I've started to accept him as a part of my life, and maybe even as my dad... I could lose him," Squall's voice broke. "And it's so hard to recover from losing people, and I don't think I can go through that pain again, Rinoa. If Laguna succumbs to his injuries..." his throat locked up, and he rested an arm on his knee, burying his face into the inner crease of his elbow.

Rinoa gasped, her own eyes filling with burning tears now. "No, Squall. You can't think like that. You absolutely cannot. You have to stay positive and hope for the best!" Squall shook his head, because the way the doctor had put things, there was very little hope. "Squall, what did the doctor say to you...?"

"He's not in good condition. His injuries were much worse than we thought, and he's undergoing emergency surgery right now. The doctor says it doesn't look good... He said that his chances right now are very slim and to not get my hopes up, and I can't handle that Rinoa. I can't. I don't know how to deal with this," Squall's voice quivering and breath hitching was the last straw for Rinoa. She pulled him to her, and Squall did not fight against it. Her arms wrapped around his head, as he buried his face in the side of her neck and in her dark curtain of hair, both of his arms wrapping around her small body, pulling her in close to him, as though he were trying to just hide away from the world, as if he could disappear.

Squall felt her body weight shift against his as her arms stayed wrapped around him, holding onto him as though she'd never let go, comfortingly and protectively while his breaths came out unsteady and uneven, his shoulders hitching as he clung hard onto her almost desperately. As if holding her as tightly as possible would help hold himself together. He was truly grateful that Rinoa was here with him because if he had to do this alone, he wasn't sure if he could. Squall knew that even though his outer defenses were now falling apart and his composure was crumbling, Rinoa would be there to try and keep him together and pick up the pieces as best as she could.


	10. The Eye of the Storm

**Chapter 10- The Eye of the Storm**

Squall walked into the darkness of the hospital room, the only light shone was a low lit lamp on Laguna's bedside table. It was quiet, except for the sounds of the machines whirring and beeping. He slumped into a chair across from Laguna's bedside, his leather-clad arms folded loosely over his chest and stared at the unconscious form of his father. The unsettling sound of the ventilator breathing for the President, along with the bleeps and blips of the various machines he was hooked up to made Squall feel uneasy. He ran a hand over his face and huffed a sigh. Nothing had changed in terms of Laguna's condition.

After nearly falling apart on Rinoa over two days ago, the SeeD Commander had once more retreated into himself, losing any and all capability of wanting to talk about anything with anyone, express anything to anyone, regardless of how much he was screaming inside. He had already said and shown too much. More than he cared to admit, but it was like he had been a freight train with no breaks, and couldn't control himself or how he felt. Once he had calmed that night, he clammed up again, unable to really speak much to Rinoa and his friends, who of course had all sorts of questions for him.

He had answered some of them in short, one-word responses or just shook his head and brushed them off, shutting himself down again, and he wasn't sure why. Maybe he was embarrassed with himself for his display of emotion in front of Rinoa and those soldiers. Maybe he was unsure of why he'd gotten so emotional over Laguna, and was confused with himself, and he definitely knew he did not want anyone else to see this side of him, a new side of him that only Rinoa seemed to bring out. He had been unable to bring himself to enter Laguna's hospital room that night after learning the news he did from the doctor, and at one point Kiros and Ward had forced him back to the Presidential Palace to get some rest.

Squall had tried his best to sleep, but all he did was toss and turn the entire time he was there, losing himself in his head. If he did sleep, it was only maybe a couple of hours at a time, if even that, but nothing restful like he needed. There was just too much going on, too much happening. At one point, Kiros had come in and offered him a potion that would help him sleep through the night, which Squall appreciated, but refused to take. After giving up on trying to get a normal night's sleep on his own, Squall got up early that morning, showered and changed, pleased to see his jacket was cleaned and ready for him.

He had avoided talking to people when invited for breakfast, informing them he wasn't hungry and only giving a little attention to Rinoa long enough to give her a quick kiss and tell her he was heading out, that wanted to be alone when she asked if he'd like her to accompany him. He pretended to not notice the worried looks on Rinoa and his friends' faces and quickly left the Palace. He'd began walking through Esthar, not even sure where his feet were carrying him. He just walked and lost himself in a silent, heavy reverie. It seemed like his walk hadn't been going for long before he'd found himself standing in front of Esthar Memorial Hospital and Medical Facility.

Squall had reluctantly gone inside, only to be dismayed to find out that his father was still not awake, and that not much had changed. Two days since the attack, two days since his emergency surgery, and two days since everything had happened, and his condition had not changed. It remained stable but still critical. All of the machines and IVs the President of Esthar was hooked up to were the only things sustaining his life. Squall wondered if he should even be in the room with Laguna given that the man was unconscious and would have no idea his only son was even in there with him.

Something glinted out of the corner of Squall's eye in the small, dim light coming from the lamp and he inclined his head, glancing toward the table at Laguna's bedside. He noticed it was Laguna's dog tag necklace that he'd always wore. Curious, Squall reached a hand out for it and grabbed it, staring down at the cold steel in his hand. His heart sank down into his stomach as he realized the dog tags were stained by what he was certain was father's dried blood, and his fingers wrapped tightly around the tags, clenching them as hard as his fingers would allow.

"Laguna...?" Squall swallowed, finding his voice. "It's been two days now. Don't you think maybe it's time you wake up? Ellone would sure love to see you and talk to you, I'm sure." He hesitated and ran his free hand through his hair.

_This is like talking to a wall... again..._

He flashbacked to the time Rinoa was unconscious, and he highly doubted that Laguna would hear him, but his friends and the nurses had encouraged him to talk to the President over the past couple of days, so Squall took it upon himself to try.

_This is going to be such a waste of time, but what have I got to lose, I guess?_

Squall cleared his throat. "You know, speaking of Ellone, her powers are really something else. She sent me and some of my friends back to your, Kiros and Ward's pasts a lot. I saw all kinds of stuff. I saw when you were a Galbadian Soldier, and your stupid crush on Rinoa's mom, that Julia woman who played the piano. Back then I thought you were seriously some kind of moron who didn't have a clue in his brain, and I might even still kinda think that, but you know? It's ok... it's just... I wish you'd maybe try and wake up so we could try again..." Squall closed his eyes and shook his head. He sounded ridiculous. "I also got to see Raine too, m-my mom... Yeah, when Ellone took me back there, I saw her at her pub. It's...,"

The SeeD Commander hesitated and sighed, shaking his head of brown locks. "It's not doing any damn good sitting here trying to talk to you, is it? Because you're not hearing a single word I'm saying, are you...?" Squall just stared down at Laguna's rising and falling chest with each pumping sound of the ventilator, releasing oxygen into the President's lungs. He scooted his chair with a loud scrape across the floor of the hospital room so he could be closer to Laguna's bedside.

Squall reached his free hand out to place on his father's shoulder, his other hand still clutching the bloodstained dog tag necklace, the chain dangling between his fingers.

"Laguna... Dad... Please, please wake up."

With a defeated huff, Squall rested his tired head against the mattress of Laguna's hospital bed, the softness of the sheets comfortable against the side of his face, his hand laying loosely on top of his father's shoulder. Squall allowed his eyelids, now growing heavy, to slip close, but he would only allow them to for a moment. He just needed to rest his eyes...

"Squall...? Hey, Squall? Wake up..." came a soft, feminine voice and a warm hand on his back, shaking him gently out of his slumber. He blinked and looked up at the source of the voice with bleary eyes and could tell he'd been asleep for at least a couple of hours, though it was odd because he'd only intended on just resting his eyes for a moment. A girl dressed in a blue top, long white skirt and a green scarf draped over her arms stood in front of him.

_...Sis?_

"I-I'm sorry for coming here, but I saw you asleep and.. I-I'm sorry for waking you, but that couldn't have been comfortable. You look so tired, and I'm sure you've barely slept at all. You should go back to sleep," Ellone stated nervously, tucking some dark hair behind an ear. "I-If you want me to leave, I can-," she began to say, but Squall cut her off by sitting up and shaking his head.

"No... You don't have to leave, Sis. Stay," he replied, his voice a bit gruff and drawn from sleep.

He stifled a yawn and stood up to push his chair back, next to another one and looked toward it, inviting Ellone to sit down. Ellone gave a small smile and took a seat beside him and they both fell into reticence, unsure of what to say to one another. Squall tucked Laguna's dog tags into the pocket of his jacket and attempted to break the silence. "His condition hasn't changed," the SeeD said with a sigh, staring down into his lap.

He felt extremely awkward and uncomfortable. The last time he and Ellone had spoken, they'd gotten into an argument, and things had not been resolved between the two of them. Looking back on it, Squall realized that he had come across rather mean toward her, but in his defense, he had just had a massive anvil of new responsibilities and news that could impact his life greatly dropped right on him. He really needed to work on that.

Ellone folded her hands and placed them in between her knees, bowing her head. "I know. I heard. Kiros and Ward have been keeping me up-to-date on his condition. This is the first time I've been able to bring myself to come here because I wasn't sure I could handle seeing Uncle Laguna in this kind of shape. I was right. I don't think I can."

Squall did not mistake the tremor he could hear in Ellone's tone. He'd heard it in Rinoa's voice plenty of times, and Squall had to resist the urge to comfort her much like he would comfort Rinoa whenever she was about to cry. Ellone raised a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.

"He just looks so frail and lifeless," she spoke out in barely a whisper. Ellone was right. He did. There was an almost ashen shade of Laguna's face, and his body was too still. There were no comical, cartoon character-like movements coming from him. It just wasn't normal. "There's got to be something they can do for him, right Squall?"

Squall was just about to reach a hand out to her when the steady beeping of Laguna's heart monitor began making one, long, loud continuous sound, and Squall's heart felt like it was going to fly out of his chest. He knew what that noise was. Laguna Loire was flatlining. He wasted no time jumping to his feet and turned to make for the hospital room door.

"Squall? What is happening!" Ellone cried out as she rose to her own feet following him, and Squall threw open Laguna's hospital door.

"WE NEED A DOCTOR! SOMETHING IS HAPPENING!" Not even moments later a team of nurses and Laguna's doctor came rushing into the hospital room, leaving Squall and Ellone to hover by the doorway.

"CODE BLUE! HE'S FLATLINING! FULL CARDIAC ARREST! BEGIN CHEST COMPRESSIONS!"

The doctor was hovering over Laguna's body, but Squall could hardly see anything as the sheets were ripped back and he watched the doctors and nurses begin to work on Laguna frantically, while a nurse rushed out, pushing Squall and Ellone out of the way, and came back within moments with what appeared to be a defibrillator machine on a silver cart, along with various syringes. She wheeled it past them and into the room while the voices of the doctor and nurses resounded wildly around them.

Ellone grabbed ahold of Squall's jacket. "Squall? Squall, what's happening to him!" Her dark eyes glazed with tears stared up into Squall's ice blue ones, and all he could do was grab his Sis and pull her close to him, shaking his head, unable to bring himself to say the words. "He can't, Squall! He can't die! Uncle Laguna can't die! He promised Raine. He promised her that he would stay here and take care of you! He promised Raine he'd make us all a family! They have to save him! Please, please tell me they're going to save him, Squall!" Ellone was loudly and openly sobbing as Squall kept one arm around her. "I can't stand it. Uncle Laguna!" Squall shushed her and held her tighter, all the while Ellone's words 'Raine, promised and family' thumped residually in his head.

"...CC'S OF EPINEPHRINE, STAT!" the doctor's voice yelled out above the others, and he grabbed the paddles for the machine. "We are NOT going to let this man die! CLEAR!" Squall cringed as he watched Laguna's body fly up from the impact of the paddles of the defibrillator as they shocked his father in hopes of restarting his heart. "CLEAR!"And again a second time.

Ellone turned her face into Squall's shoulder unable to watch anymore, clutching at her mouth to hold in her cries, but Squall could not take his eyes off of his father. They had to save him. They couldn't let him die. It wouldn't be the same without Laguna's goofy antics, silly way of speaking, weird habits and out-of-the-blue leg cramps. He watched the doctor raising the paddles again, ready to try for a third time when the shrill sound of his father flatlining returned back to a steady, beeping tone once more. His heart monitor had returned to normal which meant the President was alive.

Ellone pulled back from Squall's shoulder looking up at him, her face streaked with tears and more pooling in her brown eyes before turning to look back at the team of nurses, the doctor, and Laguna. "It's ok, Sis. It's all going to be ok," Squall finally spoke up, finding his voice again, and was a bit surprised at how unsteady his own tone was. "That was just... that was hard to watch, but I think he's going to be ok." His hand rubbed up and down Ellone's arm. "He's not going to die. He's going to be just fine. They'll figure it out. They better hope like hell they do," Squall added, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit irritated with the doctors.

_Just what the hell are they doing? Why are they dragging their feet on this? It's like they're not even bothering to properly help him. If he had the right care in the first place, this shouldn't have happened._

The doctor approached Squall and Ellone as the nurses hovered around the still unconscious President.

"Can you please step out and wait in the waiting room? I'm sorry, but we have to move the President into a different room to be more closely monitored, and I need to discuss further, appropriate treatment options with his surgeon. He's stabilized for now, but we may have to take more drastic measures to aid in his recovery."

"And what exactly do you mean by 'drastic measures', doctor?" Squall asked coldly. "Because it seems to me all these drastic measures and precautions that you've been taking have been doing him no good, and in fact could have killed him. He almost died just now. What kind of treatment is that?"

The SeeD glared at the doctor with a sniffling Ellone still at his side.

"So tell me this time how you propose to save him and help him because it doesn't look like you're doing too fantastic of a job to me."

The doctor didn't even flinch over Squall's icy tone which only served to irritate him even more. He'd had just about enough of doctors at this point, and it was going on close to day number three that Laguna still had not woken up, and had nearly died a second time.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Leonhart, but I don't have all the answers for you right now. I understand that the President is your father, and I understand your frustrations and that you are scared, but I am honest with the family members of my patients. Once I know something more about his condition and treatment options, I will find you and inform you as soon as I possibly can. In the meantime, I need you and your friend to please go and wait in the waiting room until we know something further. Once he is settled into his new room and is allowed to have guests, you will be informed. I apologize that you had to witness something like this," the doctor added kindly, more addressing Ellone with the apology than Squall.

He gave them a small nod and turned on his heel walking away as the nurses began wheeling Laguna's hospital bed out of his room and transporting him to lord only knew where. The size of the Estharian hospital was ridiculous as is. Now they had no clue where Laguna would even be.

Squall walked quietly next to Ellone as the two approached the empty waiting room, to which he was thankful there was nobody else in there. He and Ellone seated themselves on one of the couch-like benches, and Squall rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands and staring at the floor. The only sounds that could be heard were Ellone still sniffling. After a long moment of silence between the two, Squall spoke up.

"Sis, why...?"

"Huh? Why what, Squall?" her small voice responded, sounding like she had a slight head cold, but Squall still couldn't bring himself to sit up and look at her. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean. I'm sorry, Squall."

"I mean, why did you want me getting so close to Laguna? Why did you want for me to hear him out and give him a chance?" He rubbed the temples of his aching head in frustration and stood up as he began pacing the waiting room.

"Why did you, Rinoa and everyone else push me so much to get close to him? You all wanted me to have this big father/son relationship with him, and because I agreed to it, we're dealing with this now."

He was so frustrated with everyone and terrified out of his mind because for some reason, the idea of something this horrible happening to Laguna had severely shaken him. A few days ago, he had been an emotional wreck that entire day after watching Laguna nearly be ripped to shreds. For the past two days, he had completely shut down and been an emotionless husk, and now he was just a pissed off and frustrated mess.

 _I'm sick to death of all of these... feelings. I feel like a corny little child again. I feel like the big crybaby four-year-old waiting for Sis to come back. If Seifer or anyone saw me, they'd laugh at me for sure, and I won't have that. I'm over this_.

He just wanted everything to go back to normal. This wasn't him, and he had no idea how to handle everything that had been thrown at him in a matter of what, a week if even that. From dealing with the fact that he had all of Garden tossed onto his shoulders and all the responsibilities of its operations without his say-so, and then the stuff with Laguna being his father and never knowing it, the argument with Ellone, and not to mention there was still the issue with Rinoa being a sorceress and living with them at Garden. It was just too much to take in all at once, and he didn't even have enough time to just sit back and process everything and just how overwhelming it all was. His quick decisions weren't for him. They were for everyone else.

_How is any of this even fair to me? I just keep doing and doing what everyone expects out of me, but what about me...? Do I even know what I want? No, I don't. I'm so damned confused..._

"I did what everyone wanted me to do, what you wanted me to do. I gave him a chance. I went to Winhill with him and saw Raine's grave, and agreed for SeeD to come back here and aid in Esthar's restoration as well as getting rid of the moon monsters because I knew that's what everyone wanted me to do. It was so obvious what everyone expected out of me, and so I did every damn thing people wanted, and for what? So I could have him taken away from me again? So I could lose him? You all wanted me to accept him as my father and as my family. You all insisted that I get to know him. Rinoa drove it down my throat that he was my father and I needed to do all this crap, and so I tried, and if he dies...," Squall's throat closed up and his voice faded.

He turned to face the tall, glass window inside of the waiting room and placed his arm against it, resting his forehead on his wrist. He swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat. "I don't think that's something I can ever recover from, Sis. It was hard enough when you left. I don't think I ever really got over it. What am I going to do if something happens to him?"

_Why do I even care so much? I barely know him... I just know what I've seen in the past and I know what I've seen now... Is it because I know now that he's my dad? That he's my flesh and blood? My only family, I have left?_

Ellone stepped up next to Squall and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Squall, please understand... of course I didn't want this for you or him. It never even occurred to me that something this serious could happen to Uncle Laguna of all people. He's so protected and safe all of the time, I had no idea he'd charge out into battle like that. All I ever wanted was nothing but happiness for my family, meaning for you and for Uncle Laguna. I never asked for anything like this to happen. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine something like this."

The girl sighed and rested her forehead against Squall's arm.

"Squall, I know how much my leaving affected you. I know how abandoned you felt because of me. I've talked to Cid, Edea, and Quistis about it after Uncle Laguna got hurt. They told me about your abandonment issues and fears of being alone, and now I know. I am so truly sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I am. I never meant to cause you so much pain because of my leaving the orphanage. It was never my intention for you to be left alone and feeling abandoned and hurt."

Squall tried hard to hide his embarrassment at this revelation, but guessed it was bound to come out sooner or later. He dropped his arm and stared out the glass window, all of the energy seemingly leaving him and he felt drained.

Ellone lifted her head from Squall's arm and brushed back more tears, working to gather composure.

"Rinoa told me, you know. She told me that you were here at the hospital with Uncle Laguna. She's the one who encouraged me to come to the hospital and talk to you. She said now was as good of a time as any to make up with you and to say the things that needed to be said. She was right. Under these circumstances, well this is certainly not the way I'd wish for you and me to make up after all that happened, but," her voice trailed off with a chuckle and she shrugged her bare, slim shoulders. "I'm truly sorry, Squall. If I understood then what I know now, I wouldn't have been so quick to try and push Uncle Laguna onto you. I would've taken more time and baby steps so maybe it would've been easier for you. I just... I felt you deserved to know the truth."

Squall's legs were growing weaker and beginning to shake underneath him and he walked to the nearest seat, slumping down into it with a sigh and closed his tired eyes.

"I know, Sis. I get why you did what you did. I know you'd never do anything without the best of intentions, but it was just a lot to take in, you know? It was like a huge sledgehammer hitting me with full force after everything Cid and had dropped on me, and then all of the stuff about Laguna. I'm still not quite sure how to handle it properly, but-" he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry too," he managed to mumble out, staring at his hands. "You know, for what happened a days ago with you and me."

He glanced awkwardly up at Ellone who was still standing next to him, and she cracked a genuinely warm smile at him and took a seat next to him.

"You know, Squall. You really have changed and for the better. You're so grown up and handling so much now better than most people would your age. Rinoa has been really good for you and a very positive influence. It's amazing. She really has changed you in so many good ways."

Squall just blushed, unable to say anything. It wasn't like he hadn't heard this before, but hearing it confirmed by even Sis was kind of a nice feeling.

_So, I've changed for the better, huh? I guess Rinoa just had that sort of effect on me. If it hadn't been for her, I probably wouldn't even be here right now._

"Well, she did save my life," Squall pointed out. "A couple of times and in more ways than just one, but when I was trapped in the void of the time compressed world, it was Rinoa who found me and Rinoa who brought me back. She saved me. People act afraid of her because they know she's a sorceress, but if only they knew her like I know her."

Ellone just sat quietly, facing Squall and listening to every word he said, nodding her head in understanding.

"That's something else I have to help figure out for her. I don't want people to fear her. She's not an evil sorceress. I don't think she ever could be."

"And so long as she has you, Squall, she won't be. You are her knight after all," Ellone added.

Squall just bowed his head sheepishly, remembering his own words, before the two were interrupted by the doors to the waiting room crashing open. In rushed Rinoa, Quistis, and Zell. The martial artist clutched a newspaper in his hands, with Rinoa and Quistis both appearing frantic and worried before him.

"Squall, man, you have GOT to read this!" Zell thrust the newspaper into a surprised Squall's hands. "We know exactly what happened to Laguna, and it's all right here! Hurry! Read it!"

"The news has been spreading like wildfire," Quistis added, folding her peach-clad arms over her stomach. "We weren't sure if it had reached the hospital yet or not."

Squall glanced down at the newspaper in his hands and right on the front page in giant letters above a picture of Laguna read the words  **ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT ON PRESIDENT LAGUNA LOIRE OF ESTHAR**. The SeeD Commander's blue eyes widened more and more as he scanned the page.

_What!? Assassination attempt? How was a monster battle an assassination attempt!?_

_**Just two days ago, an assassination attempt was made on the President of Esthar's life. For anyone else, it would have appeared to be just a normal battle in the eyes of an outsider, but sources report that a Winhill resident by the name of Odell Donner is responsible for the monster attack that nearly took the life of Laguna Loire, President of Esthar. Rumor has it that Donner came into some money and hired the renowned scientist Doctor Odine to perform heavy experimentation on one of the mutants that fell from the Lunar Cry just weeks ago. Both Donner and Odine have been taken into police custody for interrogation. President Loire is currently in critical condition at Esthar Memorial Hospital. No more details are presently known at this time.** _

Squall sat in stunned silence while Rinoa swept to his side and seated herself next to him, placing her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. He hadn't realized that the newspaper held in his hand had begun shaking because his hands were now trembling.

"What... the hell... is this? I... I don't get it. Assassination attempt? Odine experiments? Just what the hell is going on?"

"Calm down, Squall," Rinoa told him softly. "The only thing we know as of right now is that both men were taken into custody. Kiros and Ward are there and are performing the interrogations on the President's behalf."

The SeeD Commander quickly rose to his feet and made for the door of the waiting room. "Where the hell are they interrogating him? I want you to take me there now. I want to see this man. I want to meet him and talk to him face to face," he demanded. "I have my own questions for him."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Squall-," Quistis began to interject, before Ellone stepped up, a fierce look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Quisty, but I agree with Squall. Let's go find out exactly just what is going on here and why an attempt was made on Uncle Laguna's life. Even if we can't question him ourselves, Squall is the President's son and the Commander of SeeD. He's more than entitled to get the answers we need."

She turned and looked at Squall who both nodded their heads in agreement. Quistis just shook hers appearing worried.

"Quistis, I think Ellone is right," Rinoa, too, stepped up. "I'll support you both in any way I can. I know how important Sir Laguna is to you, Ellone, and I know what he is to Squall. So I'm with you! Let's get Squall there and find out just what the hell is going on!"

Squall had to keep himself from beaming at his little sorceress. He was more appreciative then she understood of her support, and this is something he needed to do. Just what kind of an assassination attempt could be on the President of Esthar, Squall didn't know.

"If Dr. Odine was involved in Sir Laguna's assassination attempt, then we know it's serious," Rinoa added.

"You've got a point," Quistis sighed still sounding somewhat reluctant. "Just try and keep your cool, Squall. Interrogations are not something that comes easy." Squall just rolled his eyes and facepalmed.

_What, does she think I'm going to go in and torture him for information?_

Zell began punching the air furiously. "He's being interrogated back at the Presidential Palace! They have him downstairs in the interrogation room is what I overheard from Kiros! C'mon, Squall! Let's go! We got a car waiting out in front of the hospital!" Zell stated excitedly, sounding very pumped up, and Squall wasted no more time. He followed Zell and Quistis out to the car, with Rinoa and Ellone on either side of him.

The car trip back to the Presidential Palace was quick, but to Squall seemed to take forever. Luckily enough the hospital was not far away from the Palace when driving a car rather than on foot, and as soon as they pulled up to the doors, Selphie and Irvine were waiting outside for their arrival. Squall was the first to get out, and he marched straight up to where they stood, beginning to feel adrenaline running through his veins, his heart thrumming heavily against his ribcage.

"Squall! Welcome back!" Selphie called out as he approached them, with Rinoa, Ellone, Quistis, and Zell following in his wake. Selphie blanched as Squall stopped in front of her. "Whoa, calm down there. Don't have to look so intimidating! Irvine and I are just here to take you down to where Kiros and Ward are!

Irvine tipped his hat. "We figured you'd be coming back, so we thought we'd wait here for you and escort you down. Both Odell Donner and Odine are downstairs right now being questioned, and as soon as we found out Quistis and Zell left to fill you in, we gave Kiros and Ward a head's up. They're both expecting you."

"Good," Squall spat out coldly. "Lead the way."


	11. To Catechize a Monster

**Chapter 11- To Catechize a Monster**

  
Squall followed closely behind Irvine and Selphie, his frustration and confusion growing all the more with each step he took that led him closer and closer to the Interrogation Room of the Presidential Palace. Squall tried his best to stay focused but found his thoughts kept swaying and drifting.

_I can't even begin to understand this. An assassination attempt? How so and why? A monster attacked him and Dr. Odine is behind it? It's not like someone personally attacked Laguna or even tried to snipe him. It was a monster that attacked him, so how was this an assassination attempt? Guess I'm about to find out._

"Aaaaand we're here," Irvine's drawl brought Squall back to attention. He found himself standing outside of a small set of double doors with no windows. On either side of the doors stood four Esthar soldiers each guarding the room silently.

"There's Kiros and Ward. You're on your own after this one," the sharpshooter tipped his hat. "We'll be waiting with the others outside the Palace by the car."

"Good look in there, Squall! I'll be rootin' for ya!" Selphie encouraged enthusiastically, thrusting her fist into the air, and Squall watched the retreating backs of his friends.

Kiros approached and greeted Squall who nodded in acknowledgment while Ward stood taller than usual, his figure almost menacing, his normally calm expression had darkened.

"Yeah, I agree with Ward. You sure you're ready for this, Squall?" Kiros questioned the President's son. "You  _know_  who's in there."

"Ready as I'll ever be. Let's get this over with. I want the truth," Squall replied coolly.

"Alright then. Let me fill you in on some of the intel we know of about this man. His name is Odell Donner. He's a former resident of Winhill."

"That's all I need to know. He can fill me in on the rest," Squall stated impatiently as he stepped forward, while Ward's large hand opened up the door, leading them into a dimly lit room.

In the center of it was a table. On one side of the table sat an aging man, short, dark hair tinged with grey and grey stubble on his chin. He had dark eyes, heavy eyelids and thick brows with a small set of age lines beginning between his brows. He was wearing what appeared to be business attire, a dark grey, pinstripe suit, and tie. His hair was combed back and he looked rather clean cut and wealthy. On his wrists were what appeared to be a set of magical cuffs to keep him under control in case he tried to break out or make an attempt on his interrogators. On the other side of the table was an empty seat, Squall assumed, for the interrogator. Odell Donner chuckled rudely.

"Hmm, this is interesting. I was informed that I'd be talking to the President's son. I didn't realize the tike needed bodyguards. Isn't he a member of the infamous SeeD?" Odell began with a sneer in his voice? Squall hated the way the man's dark eyes squinted, seemingly scrutinizing him.

_...tike? Bodyguards? Just who the hell does this guy think he is?_

Squall placed a hand on his hip. "I hardly need a bodyguard, but you just might before we're through if you don't drop the attitude," the SeeD Commander stated darkly, his hand clutching the hilt of his gunblade. "You're in no position to be snide with me. I'll be the one asking the questions. Not you."

Kiros walked forward placing an arm out in front of Squall. "Stand down for a moment, Squall. We're here to interrogate the prisoner for committing a capital crime against the President of Esthar. My name is Kiros Seagill. This is Ward Zabac. We're the official Presidential Advisors to Laguna Loire, President of Esthar. This young man," he glanced back at the leering Squall. "Is Squall Leonhart. He is the President's son and he will be doing the interrogation. We are here to supervise should anything go wrong." Kiros stopped and stared down at the haughty man, whose shoulders had started to shake with laughter.

"Oh this is gonna be good," Odell laughed derisively. "Go ahead. Interrogate away. What makes you think I'll cooperate?"

"Squall. Do your thing. This man is starting to piss me off," Kiros stated as he put his arm down and moved to stand next to Ward in front of the doorway. "And just a fair warning, if you try anything funny, be reminded that those cuffs are designed to put a stop to anything you might attempt."

"You'll cooperate. I'll make you talk," Squall growled as he stood staring down at the man before him. "And you really don't want me to get to that point. Now, tell me one thing. Just who the hell are you?"

Odell put his head back and laughed. "And why should I tell the President's son a damn thing? What are you gonna do? You have no torture devices in here, no backup here." He held his hands up in an obvious shrug. "There isn't a thing in this room that can make me open my mouth," the man started but his sneer turned quickly into a gasp of shock as his eyes widened while glancing downward toward his chest.

With a sound of grating metal and a swift flash of silver, in an instant, Squall was pointing the tip of his gunblade mere inches away from the man's throat. "Like I said. I have my ways. Now, I suggest you start talking or you're going to get a good taste of what my blade feels like, including the gun part, and believe me. It lives up to its name. I've heard the recoil is rather painful. Let's start with who you are, where the hell you came from, what you want and why you'd do something like this. Talk. Now."

"Okay! Okay! I'll talk! I'll talk! Don't hurt me! Please! M-My name is Odell Donner! I grew up in Winhill with Raine and knew her really well. W-we were really good friends until that..." the man's expression changed from fear to disgust. "...that Laguna Loire came along and wrecked everything," he spat.

"I really loved her, but once Laguna showed up, she had eyes for only him, and then what does he do? He up and leaves her! He left her when that brat child that was living with her got kidnapped by Esthar soldiers and taken away from Winhill. He left her high, dry and pregnant. Pregnant with his...  _spawn_." His dark eyes glared up at Squall, but the Commander of SeeD never even so much as flinched, and never took his ice blue eyes off of the man in front of him.

"Spawn, huh? You do realize you're referring to me. I'm Raine's son," Squall stated in a low, cold voice. "How do you think Raine would feel if she knew you were talking so lowly of her only son?"

"I could care less who the hell you are. As far as I'm concerned, Raine deserved better. She deserved a better son and a better husband than you and Loire. The villagers of Winhill and I all agreed that we would keep Raine's pregnancy and her baby secret. If Loire never found out, he wouldn't come back is what we all hoped for. We wanted that damned Loire to stay far away from her and our home. Lucky for us he never came back." Odell folded his arms across his chest.

"Raine died just a few weeks after you were born. Some kind of illness. We never found out what it was, and to get rid of any traces that that outsider had been here, we had the baby, you, shipped off to an orphanage, along with that brat child Ellone or whatever her name was. If Laguna had  _never_ shown up there, Raine never would've died. You and your piece of shit excuse for a President and father are the reason why she's gone!"

Squall rolled his eyes. "Please spare me your whining and accusations. It's all over the news and media that an assassination attempt was made on the President of Esthar. That is was you who worked closely with Dr. Odine, was it not? I suggest you start talking and start giving me answers." Squall moved the tip of his blade closer to where it was now an inch away from touching Odell's throat.

Beads of sweat began appearing on the man's forehead, and he visibly trembled. "Okay, I got it! Fuck! Please don't kill me!" Squall facepalmed for a moment while Odell squirmed and whimpered in front of him. "A-after I found out that Laguna Loire was the President of Esthar, I moved to Esthar and began spying on him. My biological Dad lived here in Esthar, and when he passed on about a year ago, he left me a small fortune. I had the money, and now I could carry out any sort of revenge I wanted to on the President. Revenge for the death of my precious Raine. And oh yes. I would have it, and I did."

Squall nearly flinched at the way the man's eyes seemed to gleam jovially with his words. He looked like a madman.

_This guy is literally insane..._

Odell laughed, sounding almost sinister. "But I had to carry out a revenge that was not obvious. I couldn't just hire SeeD to kill him for me. Not after discovering the part you all had to play in eliminating the sorceress threat and the connection to Esthar. It was too conspicuous, and Cid Kramer would've never stood for it anyway. I couldn't just hire a sniper. Galbadia was out of the question since they weren't even anything close to being trusted. I heard all about how Martine betrayed SeeD and used them to his advantage, and is now living at FH. Not to mention all of the inside jobs with General Caraway and his army. I couldn't be found out. I still don't get how I was found out. I didn't want to kill him outright, though. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel pain. The kind of pain I felt when Raine died."

Squall glowered at the man. The more he talked, the more furious he was becoming, but he was also getting to the truth, so he had to keep calm and keep his composure. He didn't want to actually harm the man, nor did he have any intentions of doing so, but if it kept him talking, he wasn't moving.

"What... the hell... did you and Dr. Odine do?" Squall spoke slowly, his tone dripping with contempt. The tip of his gunblade was now touching Odell's throat.

"Good god! Don't stab me! I'm talking! Jeez. It was simple. I used my money to hire Dr. Odine to experiment on one of the moon monsters that fell from the Lunar Cry. The Lunar Cry was like a blessing in disguise! He began the experiment on one of the strongest creatures to turn it into a supermonster that could be controlled. Dr. Odine created a sort of microchip implant and surgically input it into the monster's brain. Because of that chip, the monster could be controlled by a remote control type of device," the man explained and Squall was unnerved about how uncaring and nonchalant this man sounded.

"Certain buttons can activate its movements. You can make it fight, you can make it attack, you can make it stop, and you could make it cower down in fear if you wanted to. Odine is a fucking genius! There was a certain button programmed along with the microchip implant that when pressed, it activated a sensor switch inside of the monster to focus its attacks on Laguna Loire and nobody else." Odell jeered. "And from what I heard, the monster definitely did what it was programmed to do. He's in a hospital dying right now, isn't he?" Squall's expression darkened.

_This man... and Dr. Odine experimenting together like this... and with how something this dangerous could be created... we've got a serious problem. Something needs to be done about Odine, too. If he makes more of those chips, innocent people could be in real danger..._

Unable to control himself, Squall grabbed the empty chair with his free hand and flung it across the table, barely missing the side of Odell's head. Odell squeaked and shied, covering his head with his arms as the chair crashed into the wall on the other side of the room. Squall's breaths were uneven and angry, and his gunblade was still pointed perfectly at Odell's throat.

"Don't even speak of him... what the  _hell_  do you honestly know?"

"Squall...," came Kiros' warning tone from behind the SeeD.

Odine lifted his head back up and smirked. Squall could see that Odell knew he was getting under his skin. "I know enough to know that mine and Odine's monster experiment was nearly successful and could still be if he doesn't survive," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"You are completely insane. Do you even realize how many innocent people could be hurt because of something like this?" Squall said, incredulous. "Dr. Odine must have been really hard up for money to work with someone the likes of you."

Odell snorted. "Hard up? Nah, he isn't hard up, but he most definitely couldn't resist a good experiment. They don't call them 'mad scientists' for nothing you know. I waved the dough, we negotiated, he did what I asked, and your President took the bait. After all, it was the perfect opportunity for revenge. The type of revenge I longed for. Making him suffer and feel pain and know agony before his death without anyone finding out I was behind it. Now that is the sweetest form of revenge," his voice dripped with malice.

Squall rolled his eyes. "Yeah without getting your hands dirty, right? Well, considering you were found out, you did a pretty shitty job."

He continued holding the tip of his gunblade to the man's throat. The rage was continuously and slowly building up in the SeeD Commander now, and his body was starting to tremble from it. His gunblade even began to shake in his hold, causing Odell Donner to stretch his head back and away from the tip, dark eyes widening with fear.

"That thing is gonna cut me if you're not careful! Can you get off my throat now?"

"No." Squall found himself unable to stop from the words just tumbling out of him. "Do you even realize how many people's lives you've ruined because of this? Including mine? Because of your and those Winhill villagers' selfishness, I grew up never knowing my father was at least still alive. I grew up in that orphanage alone, believing my parents to be dead for 17 years, and never even knowing who they were because of people like you. Ellone could've been more properly protected instead of just shipped off and put in hiding, and Laguna would've known he had a son. If anyone deserves any revenge here, it's me. I'm just not that petty."

Squall moved swiftly behind the man, holding the blade of his weapon against his throat, his voice dangerously low. "I will say this though. No man like Laguna deserves death. Maybe you don't either. That remains to be seen. Raine's death was a very tragic, unfortunate thing. My father nor I am hardly at fault because of her passing. An illness is at fault. If you're that far gone that you can't see that, then that's not my problem, but you've certainly created a big one." He lowered his face down close to the trembling man's ear. "What do you propose we do about that?"

"P-P-PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I TALKED! I TALKED! THAT'S ALL OF IT! THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! I KNOW WHAT I DID! JUST PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" the man wailed as the edge of Squall's blade pressed against his flesh, but not enough pressure to cut him. He whimpered and wailed.

The Commander of SeeD removed his blade from the man's throat and shoved him away in repulsion. "You disgust me. You don't want to die? That depends on Laguna's survival. If he survives, you can spend the rest of your life rotting in prison. His survival depends on whether you get executed or not." Squall scowled in disgust before turning away from the man and walking toward Kiros and Ward. "Throw him in the Esthar prison. Make sure he's good and secluded and that he's out of here before Odine comes in. I don't want them having any more contact."

Kiros and Ward both nodded. The braided-haired man opened the door to speak with some of Esthar soldiers outside of it, and before Squall knew it, in marched four of them that had been standing outside of the doors.

"Fetch Dr. Odine and bring him in here. He's next," Kiros ordered another small group of soldiers standing just outside of the door to the interrogation room.

The four that had entered, grabbed up a sniveling and whimpering Odell Donner by his arms and dragged him out into the hallway of Palace. The only thing that Squall could hear was his residual cries of protests and 'nos' and then nothing.

Squall put his gunblade back on his hip, placing his hands on the table, hunching over, brown strands of hair falling into his eyes. He hadn't realized how heavy he was breathing, or that his arms and legs were shaking, but there was so much red-hot anger coursing through his veins, and so much information filling his head, that he wasn't even sure how to process everything that had just gone down. He stiffened when he felt a large hand on his shoulder and glanced up into the sympathetic face of Ward towering over him.

"Ward is right, Squall. You did great. You got the truth out of him, and that's what matters. Odine is on his way if you wanna interrogate him next," Kiros stated while Ward patted Squall awkwardly on the back a few times before going to stand back by the doors.

_I don't know if I can go through that again... I was just so desperate at getting the truth. I hope that Rinoa, Zell and all the others never have to see that side of me. I can't even imagine what they'd think of me right now..._

In truth, Squall wouldn't admit it out loud, but he honestly scared himself a little. Could he have brought himself to kill Odell Donner right there? Was he capable of doing something like that considering everything he was feeling? He wasn't sure, but he had no problem using his gunblade to his advantage if that meant getting to the truth and when it meant the life of someone that was important to him. Squall was pulled from his thoughts as a familiar voice sounded just outside of the interrogation room.

"I VANT TO KNOW WHY I AM BEING BROUGHT HERE! VAT IS THIS NONSENSE! ODINE DESERVES RESPECT! NOT TO BE TREATED LIKE A LOWLY PRISONER! UNHAND ME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Squall shook his head over the obnoxious squeal of the Doctor's grating tone.

Within moments, the Esthar soldiers were carrying a flailing Dr. Odine by his arms, wearing his signature clown-like suit and dropped him onto the floor of the interrogation where Squall, Kiros, and Ward all stood staring down at the small man who appeared to be having an almost child-like tantrum in the middle of the floor. "I DEMAND TO KNOW VAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT!"

Kiros stepped foward with his arms folded. "You played a part in the assassination attempt of the President of Esthar, Laguna Loire. You do understand that this is a capital crime worthy of capital punishment if that is what's decided. The President is currently laying in a hospital bed in critical condition, and his chances of pulling through aren't that great. Tell us about the monster experiment you were just paid to do by Odell Donner. Or else."

"OR ELSE VAT! DO YOU VANT TO FISTICUFFS! YOU CANNOT MAKE ODINE TALK IF HE DOESN'T VANT TO!" the tiny man shouted, raising his small fists in what he hoped was a threatening manner. Squall fought the urge to shove his face into his palm again.

_Yeah, because how likely is it that you don't want to talk and that you'll shut up?_

"I AM THE GREAT ODINE! I CANNOT EVER PASS UP A CHANCE AT PERFORMING A NEW EXPERIMENT AND THIS ONE VAS VONDERFUL! IT TRULY VORKED! THERE IS NOTHING ODINE CANNOT DO!"

_Called it..._

At this point, Squall had had enough. He walked toward Kiros, Ward, and Odine where the clown-looking doctor turned on him with his fists raised. Squall huffed in annoyance. "I'm out of here. Do whatever you want about him. I don't care." He brushed past his father's advisors and began making his way to the doors when he again, felt a hand on his shoulder. Only this time it was Kiros stopping him.

"Squall, listen man. We understand what you're feeling. We know what you're going through. We get it. If you need anything, we're here for you," the dark skinned man stated honestly.

Squall coldly shrugged Kiros's hand off his shoulder. "I don't need anything."

Kiros sighed in frustration. "Listen, man. You're not the only one who's worried about Laguna's wellbeing, okay? We care about him too and don't want anything bad to happen to him either. So you're not the only one feeling the way you are."

Squall's shoulders slumped. "...sorry." And he truly was, but he didn't feel like being overly apologetic.

"Listen to Ward. You go back to the hospital. We'll handle Odine and meet you there later. To fill you in. Alright?"

Squall nodded his head and reply and hurried out of the room, shutting the doors behind him and pressing his back against it, taking in big gulps of air. He was grateful to be able to get out of there. He was starting to feel claustrophobic in that room and needed to get out of the Palace altogether. He needed some fresh air and time to process everything that had just occurred.

He hurried down the long corridors of the Presidential Palace before finding himself outside and back in the company of his friends who were waiting by the car. They all began walking toward him as Squall made his way forward.

"Squall! How'd the interrogation go, man!" Zell was the first to question him, and Squall found himself clamming up.

"Did you get the truth?" Quistis asked him next.

"Was it really an assassination attempt on Sir Laguna!?" Selphie chimed in.

"Guys guys guys. Can't you see Squall is already stressed out? Give him some room to breathe. Interrogations aren't an easy thing to do," Irvine drawled lazily.

Rinoa approached him carefully, her hand reaching out to take one of Squall's in her own. He was still somewhat trembling and his breathing was hard. "Are you alright, Squall?"

"...I'm fine. Just needed some air." He turned towards his friends. "I need some time to think. I'm sorry. If you guys want to go shopping or figure out what to do about Ragnarok and Pandora, go ahead. Do what you want to do. I'm going to take a walk back to the hospital. I just can't... talk about stuff right now."

"It's okay, Squall. We understand," Quistis was the one who spoke in understanding. "We'll be on our way. We'll meet you at the hospital in a few hours." She turned towards Rinoa, Zell, Irvine, and Selphie. "C'mon you guys. Let's let our Commander be. He needs time to himself."

Rinoa shook her dark head defiantly. "No. I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving him alone. You guys go. I'll stay with Squall." Squall did not even try to protest as Rinoa glanced up at him and then back over to her friends. "So that's that! We'll meet up with you back at the hospital in a while."

"If you're certain," Quistis replied and they watched as their friends got into the vehicle and zoomed off. Squall found himself sighing with relief and looked over at Rinoa.

"I'm... glad you decided to stay with me. I just couldn't be surrounded by people right now. I needed a little space."

Rinoa turned worried eyes on the SeeD Commander and raised a hand to cup the side of his face. "Squall? Are you sure you're alright? What happened? You can tell me."

Squall closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, placing his own hand on top of hers. Rinoa always seemed to have a way of calming his frazzled nerves. He took her hand in his and the two began walking.

"I found out the truth about it all. Odell Donner had hired Dr. Odine to perform an experiment on one of the monsters that fell from the Lunar Cry. Long story short, Dr. Odine managed to develop some kind of microchip controlling device and implanted it into the monster's brain. They programmed it to attack Laguna when a specific button was pressed on a remote control. I don't know the entire specifics of Odine's research or anything, but that's how the assassination attempt was made on him. They found out Laguna was fighting on the frontlines and they made the attempt on his life."

Rinoa gasped, her mouth slightly gaping. "But why!? Why would anyone want to harm a man like Laguna? I don't think there's a cruel bone in his body! He's filled with nothing but purity, kindness and so much love. I've never met anyone like him. What did he do that made Odell Donner want to kill him?"

"It was my mom. Raine. Odell was in love with her since childhood and he grew jealous and petulant when Laguna came in the picture. Then, after Raine had me and died, he blamed both me and Laguna for Raine's death. He wanted to take his revenge out in a way that people wouldn't think it was an actual assassination, you know? What better way than a monster attack? Nobody would suspect a monster could be controlled enough to focus its attacks specifically on Laguna and nobody else, right? To Odell, it was the perfect plan."

Rinoa snorted derisively. "But it didn't work, did it? He was found out, and Laguna is still alive. He might not be conscious but he is most definitely still alive." She smiled up at him, hope shining in her dark eyes.

"Rinoa... the interrogation was...," Squall began but trailed off as he turned his head away from her, running a hand over the back of his neck.

"Squall, it's okay. I understand, and you don't have to tell me exactly what happened,}  
Rinoa's gentle voice soothed the turbulent depths once more. "You're a SeeD. You're hardened. You had a job to do, and it was in regards to your father. If you had to do something you normally wouldn't, I would understand. So it's okay. You don't have to tell me any more than that."

Squall let out a huge sigh, grateful to have someone like Rinoa in his life. He stopped and turned around to face her, gathering both of her hands in his. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."

"Well, you'll never have to find that out if I have anything to say about it," Rinoa told him softly as he tugged her closer and leaned down.

Her warm lips met his, softly caressing his own, and Squall felt like in that moment he could melt into her comfort and feel at ease for the first time in ages. Squall had lost count of how many days it had been now. It still amazed him of how much Rinoa had broken down his walls, opened up his heart and he so willingly let her in. The way her touch calmed the rage and turmoil, and the intense, honest understanding she held within her very being for him. He was grateful. Even if she was a sorceress and he was her knight, they were still something else entirely their own.

"C'mon, Squall," Rinoa ushered gently as they broke the kiss. "Let's get back to the hospital. Laguna is waiting."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Squall, Rinoa, and Ellone all sat hunched in a sad silence of the hospital's waiting room. They had met up with Ellone back at the hospital, and the news was sounding more and more dire by the moment. Much to Squall's dismay, they discovered that Laguna had been placed in an induced coma to help with his recovery and was currently in a room in the ICU where he could be more closely monitored should anything else go wrong. Finally, they were allowed inside of Laguna's room and the hospital staff had made sure that the President's son, Ellone, and Rinoa were as comfortable as they could get in a chilly hospital.

Squall sat on the couch that the staff had brought into Laguna's room. Rinoa was sound asleep, curled up on the couch with her head resting comfortably in the SeeD Commander's lap. His fingers absentmindedly stroked her forehead and hair. Ellone was seated on the other side of Squall in a chair that was pushed up against the side of the couch. The two were conversing quietly, taking turns at exchanges glances of the unconscious President. His skin was as paper-white as the sheets underneath him, and just the way he looked unnerved Squall. There were still no signs of improvement.

Squall and Ellone's voices were soft as Ellone told Squall stories of time passed. Stories of her time with Raine when she first took Ellone in. Stories of her time with both Raine and Uncle Laguna together, and of her time with Raine after Laguna left.

"I was so young then, but Raine's belly was so big while she was pregnant with you! I used to make silly little comments about how it looked like Raine had swallowed an entire watermelon." She chuckled a bit wistfully. "Raine would groan and say how she felt like she'd swallowed an entire watermelon that wouldn't stop moving."

Ellone paused and stared down at her hands. "The whole time she was pregnant with you, she talked about Uncle Laguna so much. She talked about how much she missed him and dreamed of the day he would come home. How she hoped that he'd be home in time for the birth of her baby."

Squall was about to open his mouth to say something when Rinoa stirred in his lap. His hands continued stroking her dark hair and he peered down at her. "Hey. You awake?"

"Yeah... Did I fall asleep...?" Rinoa tried to stifle a yawn as she sat up and gazed around them. "I'm so sorry. I guess I was tired. I've just not slept much since..." her voice trailed off.

_Join the club. I don't think any of us have._

Squall wasn't even sure how he could get proper rest at a time like this. If he fell asleep and the worst happened...

_No! Don't even think about it. Just stop thinking...!_

Rinoa stood up and stretched. "Listen, I'm kinda hungry and a little thirsty. I think I'm going to head to the cafeteria for some food and drink. Would you guys like anything?"

Squall couldn't even stomach the thought of food right now with all the stress weighing on him and he shook his head. Ellone politely asked for a hot coffee to which Rinoa obliged and stepped out of the room. Rinoa heard the sounds of Squall and Ellone's voice as she left the room, but decided to stop and hide behind the door, curious on what they were discussing.

"Raine waited and waited for Laguna to come home, but he never did," Ellone told him somberly. "About a week after you were born, Raine fell ill. The villagers who loved Raine had doctors out to check her over, and nobody could ever figure out what was wrong with her. Her illness was very mysterious. No matter the treatment, Raine just got worse. One day I was sitting by her bedside, and Raine talked nothing more about how she wanted to show her newborn baby, their newborn baby, to Laguna. I don't think Raine was just sick. I think Raine died of a broken heart... She was married to Laguna, pregnant with their baby and he didn't know. Raine had no idea where he was nor any means of contacting him," Ellone's voice broke.

"I was there when she passed away, Squall. I was holding her hand when it went limp in mine. You were laying in a bassinet right beside her. Her hand was rubbing your head, and it just dropped. One minute, she was there and the next, she was just gone. And I can't let the same thing happen with Uncle Laguna, Squall. I just can't. I can't handle that I can't lose both of them."

Squall felt his own throat tighten as Ellone broke down in the chair beside him. He wanted to find the words to say. His mom died right next to him and Ellone. Now Laguna might... No. He wouldn't. Squall searched for the right words to say. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that Laguna was a fighter, he was strong and that he would come back to them, but the minute he opened his mouth, he clamped it shut tight, clenching his jaw against the raw emotion rolling in his chest, afraid that if he opened his mouth to speak, he might just break down too.

Instead, he pulled Ellone over by her hand to sit on the couch next to him and put his arms around her, holding her and letting her cry. Ellone's sobs were loud and pained, and he squeezed her tighter.

_Sis... please... It's not going to be that way. It won't happen like that. Not with Laguna. He still has a lot of life to live._

Behind the door, Rinoa listened in on their conversation, and she raised a hand to clutch at the rings laying against her own aching heart. "Oh, Squall... Ellone...," she whispered tremulously and sniffed against the tears that had begun stinging her own eyes. All that could be heard now was Ellone sobbing, and Rinoa left Laguna's hospital room door, heading toward the cafeteria, holding in her tears, and in hopes of regaining composure.

After a while, she returned to Laguna's hospital room carrying a tray of food and hot coffee for Ellone only to find the two fast asleep on the couch. Squall had an arm around Ellone who's head was resting against his arm. Squall was resting the side of his face against his hand, his elbow leaning on the arm of the couch. They looked so peaceful that Rinoa couldn't find it in her heart to wake them and let them know she brought food and drinks for them, worrying over how long it had been since the two had last eaten anything. She quietly placed the tray down on the bedside table and went to the linen closet of the hospital room. She tugged out a blanket and smiled at the sleeping forms of Squall and his Sis. She covered them both, feeling a slight form of relief that knowing all was right with them again, and that they were finally resting.

* * *

Squall's eyes fluttered open to find himself no longer in Laguna's hospital room but surrounded by a completely white space. "Hello?" he called. The only response was the echo of his own voice. "Rinoa? Ellone? Laguna? Is anyone there?" Again, just the echo of his voice.

"How in the hell did I end up here? You've gotta be kidding me," he grumbled, dropping his face into his palm when a warm, feminine chuckle came from behind him. Squall raised his head swiftly and whirled around. What he came face to face too was what he least expected.

A pair of eyes, almost identical to his met his own. The same shape, the same shade of blue, only they were enhanced by a set of dark, thick eyelashes. His eyes trailed up to her hair. The same shade of hair to match his own held back with a yellow headband. She was wearing a pair pearl teardrop earrings in both ears, a white ribbed turtleneck sweater and a pair of denim jeans.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Squall found himself spitting out and cringed at how rude he sounded. "I-I mean... you're Raine, aren't you?"

"You're a sharp one," the woman laughed. "Much more so than your father. Kiros and Ward were right. You really are just like me in a lot of ways, but I can see some of him in you too." She leaned forward, her hands behind her back and studied Squall, blue eyes squinting at him. "Maybe just a bit though. More me than anything."

"Raine...?" Squall asked her, tilting his head ever so slightly. "Did Ellone send me here?"

"Here? Hmmm no, I don't think so. I think that this is a place that Ellone can't reach with her power alone," Raine began to explain, standing upright. "Oh let me look at you. You've grown up to be so handsome!"

Squall blushed, folding his arms and staring down at the ground.  _Really? She came here to gush all over me and about how much I've grown up? Typical..._

Raine laughed out loud again. "Okay, so I take that bit back about you being like your father. You are pretty much just like me, and not so much like Laguna. Which I suppose is a good thing?"

"Laguna. So, it really is true...?" Squall asked his mother, staring right down at her. "You and Laguna really are my parents? No mistakes?"

Raine nodded her head. "Yes. We really are. No mistakes." She paused before folding her hands. "Squall, your father, Laguna is lost. He is having trouble finding his way home and back to you."

Squall quirked an eyebrow. "Lost? What do you mean lost? He's lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life."

"Yes, but I mean his spirit his lost. It's hovering between this life and the next. I can't reach him because he's in some sort of limbo that he can't find his way out of. He's been desperately trying to wake up and get back to you, but it's like he can't. I can sense he's very close to giving up, Squall. Very close." Raine closed her eyes painfully. "It's too soon for him to move on yet, Squall." She grabbed her son's hands in her own, and Squall was surprised at how warm and real they felt. "You absolutely cannot let that happen to him."

"What am I supposed to do? How do I keep him from giving up if he's lost?"

Raine moved close to him and brought a hand up to rest on his cheek. Her thumb stroked it gently as her eyes stared hard into his.

"Call out to him. Reach him with your heart. If you completely open your heart to Laguna and call out to him, I think it just might save his life. Remember how you reached out to Rinoa when she was lost in space and you found her? She didn't give up. She found her way back to you. You saved her. You have to do the same with your father, Squall or he will be lost forever."

"Mom," Squall's voice broke on the word and he closed his eyes against relentless tears that seemed to want to make an unwelcome appearance. "What if I can't?"

"You can, son and you will. I know you will. You have that ability. I have faith in you. Open your heart to your father. Laguna needs that right now more than anything. He longs to have that father/son relationship with you. It's not all that complex. Help him find his way back to you. You don't realize how much the both of you need each other."

_We need you too, Mom._

Raine wrapped her arms around Squall's trembling form and pulled him close. He didn't fight against it, just as he didn't with Laguna. His forehead dropped onto his mother's shoulder and he finally let the tears roll. "Mom..." His breath hitched, and his arms went around his mother like a lost little boy finding his mother for the first time in his life. And he was. He felt the warmth her touch, the tightness of her embrace. He could smell her unique, floral scent. The same as those white flowers in Winhill. He could feel her spirit and it's strong presence that was suddenly familiar to him. He'd felt that presence before. He just didn't know it had been her at the time. Raine ran a hand through Squall's hair over and over til he calmed.

"It's alright, son. I'm with you. I'm always with you. That'll never change."

"I... don't really honestly understand the family thing, but if it'll help save Dad, I'll do it."

"That's my boy," Raine's voice whispered close to his ear. She was moving now, further and further away from him, her form slowly fading. The last Squall saw of her was her loving smile.

Squall did as he was told. He gathered all of his feelings into his heart, closing his eyes he pictured Laguna and imagined everything he carried inside reaching out to him. With all his heart and soul, he called out to Laguna.

_Laguna... I hope you're there. I hope you can hear me. Listen, I... I just saw Raine, Mom, for the first time. For real, and she helped me. I was so confused on how to handle the fact that I had a father who was alive that I shut you out and held you at arm's length and then you got hurt... I wasn't the nicest to you before, and for that I'm sorry. Laguna, please. If you can hear me, come back to us. We need you here. Mom said it wasn't time for you to move on yet. I... I don't want you to be lost, so please, Laguna. I want to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes if it means saving your life. I can't lose anyone else. So, please. Come back to us. Come back to me. Dad. Please._

" _Squall... my son."_

" _Squall! Squall!"_

_Was I... Am I dreaming? Dad? Mom?_

_"Squall..."_

"Squall! Squall! Wake up! You have to wake up now!" the urgent voice was sounding louder now, and Squall found he was laying across the couch, but not in his father's room. He was back in the waiting room and was laying on his back. How did he even get there? Did someone move him? Why didn't he wake up? He opened up bleary eyes and rubbed the sleep from them.

"Wha- what's going on? How did I get here?" his voice was drawn and raspy from sleep. Squall sat up on the couch and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Welcome back, sleepyhead. Ward moved you from the hospital room back into here. You were sleeping so heavily that nothing was waking you up." Ellone stood in front of him with her hands clasped tightly to her chest. "I've... just heard from Uncle Laguna's doctors."

That woke Squall up, and he shook his head, brushing back his hair and stood up in front of Ellone. "Uncle Laguna is waking up!"


End file.
